I 26 year old female almost relapsed today & it is still on my mind
I’m in severe pain emotionally physically and mentally pretty much all day long 24/7
I can’t seem to express or really explain that to anyone especially to my own husband especially when there’s so much behind it
especially when I don’t know one 100% of the time what’s going on either
And when I do communicate to my husband I feel like he brushes me off way to easily at times he says that he’s not and he’s trying but I feel like he isn’t especially when I ask him to do simple little things like changing our kids diapers
Sometimes he does it and others he doesn’t and I’m left to do it myself and that’s not a huge deal but I feel like at times if I ask him to do something I just wish he’d just do it without complaining or telling me he’s really tired and he needs to rest
because thing is I totally understand that and I truly do try to meet everyone’s needs including his
To make shere he is well rested for his next day so he can go to work without feeling so exhausted
But I myself is over exhausted and starting to have kind of a hard time wanting to get out of bed at times but ever since I have my kiddos I just do but like I said it’s starting to get a bit hard
I just want everything to stop I don’t want to hurt anymore please if anybody has any wise words for me but please be kind it shere would be appreciated
I think your doing exactly what you need to do and that is reach out.. Life gets messy sometimes but nothing to drink or use over. Maybe you can find a way to give yourself a break.. Do something for you like watch a comedy, call a friend, pray, journal, draw or paint something. Im sure time is limited but right now your sobriety is what matters. I understand what you mean as far as not being able to express whats going on with you.. that can be really frustrating and for me personaly it messes with my head because then I start thinking that maybe I’m over reacting or something.. maybe you could try to explain your anxieties or worries on paper and get some better prospective or be able to share that with your partner to be able to explain what’s going on better.. also sometimes it’s frustrating because people that are not in recovery just might not fullly understand the stress or triggers. Thats why this community is great or meetings like AA or NA. It’s good to talk with people in recovery that get it. I think it’s good you reached out.. just get through the rest of today sober and have faith that things will come together. Find some time for yourself if possible.. even if it’s 30 minutes to read or to meditate. Just get through today sober. Really think about where that drug or drink will take you.. also what might help is to make a list of the negative effects of drinking or using. Sorry if this is all over the place and hope it helps. Bad times always pass. It can be hard learning how to live with feelings and not drown them out with drugs or alcohol but at the same time its a good thing to be feeling.