Talk talk talk and keep talking. Self harm is escape; it’s about running from feelings instead of processing them in healthy ways. You don’t have to harm yourself to be in control of your life or safe; you are a good person who matters, and you and your body deserve safety and loving care.
Call (or text) one of the hotlines here - there are so many good ones (scroll down a bit to “Hotlines and text lines”:
Don’t ever give up; never stop reaching out. Your life matters, your body and your safety matters. You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, healthy life. Take care love & keep checking in here 