Hi all, I wanted to ask what to expect going to an (in-person) AA meeting (in the UK)? I’ve found a couple local to me that I want to go to, but I’m quite nervous as I’ve never been to one before, but I think it would be beneficial to me and my sobriety.
I’ve read the guides on the official AA UK website but I’m still a little unsure of what to expect.
Any advice from people who have been to one? Especially for a young newcomer who’s clueless and doesn’t have any in-person experience with other sober people (like dos and don’ts for meetings)?
Whenever I’ve walked into a new meeting for the first time usually people are friendly and make an effort to welcome you. There is often tea and coffee available before the meeting.
I think different meetings have different styles and slightly different formats but the ones I’ve been to the host starts by introducing the meeting and the speaker if there is one. Sometimes everyone introduces themselves individually with ‘Im Pamela & I’m an alcoholic’. You don’t have to say the alcoholic part but most people do also you can just say pass if you don’t want to say anything. Also not every meeting does introductions, only one I’ve been to. Then usually they read the steps or traditions out and then someone reads a passage from the big book. Then in most the ones I’ve been to there is a speaker who is someone whose been in recovery for a good few years who talks for say 15-20 minutes about their recovery journey and then they open up the floor to anyone who wants to share. Usually the shares are meant to be related to the content of what the speaker said to some degree but often people go off on tangents too. You don’t have to speak or say anything if you don’t want to. In some meetings they don’t have a speaker and instead it’s just a place to share. I think you are not meant to talk directly to people in the shares ‘cross talk’ or direct comments at people, unless you are addressing something the main speaker said (if that makes sense). Then the meeting is closed, they read the serenity prayer and pass around a collection and that’s the end! Ones I’ve been to people seem to be quite friendly with eachother and hang around a bit before and after the meeting chatting.
If you’re new people might come up and introduce themselves, sometimes people give you their number as a support but you don’t have to take it and you don’t have to call them of course unless you want to!
I too was very afraid to go to AA meetings. I think everyone is afraid to go at first. It’s not like it was my life goal to finally go to AA meetings. I wanted to find a way to say anything but “Eric, I’m an Alcoholic.” I thought of so many things I could say like “I’m Eric and I’m powerless over alcohol.” “I’m Eric and I can’t drink like a normie.” Etc. my first meeting was a big group speaker meeting and I never even had to say anything. I just listened.
My first time introducing myself I just said “Eric Alcoholic.” And ya know what? Such a relief to finally say it and get it out there. I think I was always afraid to label myself an alcoholic. I know I’m much more than that. But for some reason I was afraid. I didn’t like the way that sounded. Once I did that, I think the most important thing for me was to just keep going back. I learned I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. Just keep going back and eventually I started joining in.
I feel most people share what works for them. I don’t know what works for anyone else. I can only share my experience strengths and Hope. And I found a lot of hope in those rooms when I thought finding Hope was impossible.
Like Pamala said. They are all a little different. I found a couple of meetings that interested me and I kept going back.
Just like @Dazercat and @Pamela said the AA Meeting is there for support which we all are looking for. The only requirement for AA 'is the desire to stop drinking". Again you do not have to share or introduce yourself. Attend one and listen. If you don’t like it attend another one. I love my AA Group and yes admitting I am an alcoholic was not easily to do …now I have no problem with it. I find everyone who attends a meeting is there for the same reason… stay sober.
Youl be nervous and fearful its only natural but once you are there im sure the group members will gather round and make you welcome , i never forgot my first meeting in 1986 and today i love going yesterday i was speaking at atop table 50 people in the rooms shared my wisdom lol . get phone numbers make plans to go to other meets with your new likeminded friends im sure you will be ok wish you well
