What sobriety does not promise

I like the clarity unemployment brings.

Good on ya for sharing about your toolbox approach.

There are not to many threads we overlap in, but I have always apperciated your posts and the direct manner is the breath of fresh air needed by many around here. Thank you.

Take care,be well


I always liked the phrase “there is nothing so bad that drinking won’t make it worse”.


How are you doing bud. Been thinking about you all day. Kindred spirit

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This :arrow_up:
But besides that it’s a lot to deal with. But when drinking ore using it’s no question at all what the outcome would be.
I hope life gives you another good path to turn in, maybe the other possition ore a job elsewhere with the same satisfaction.
Venting is good for the soul, as well as shedding the tears. Reading a more fulnerable Derek beside a pushing one made you more real for me. Hope you understand what I try to say :hugs:
I wish you the best, keep us posted!


You have inspired myself along with others because you have put in the work. This is what I love about the program, the ripple affect it has on so many lives. Losing such a huge part of your life sounds so hard. Thank you for sharing your difficult hurdle and showing many others it’s possible to live thru rough patches without picking up the bottle.


Although I am a grateful member of Refuge Recovery, a Buddhist based path to recovery which actually is based on the 12-step program,this is beautiful to me. I am grateful you shared how you respond to the difficult situations that will always arise in our lives. *suffering or happiness is created through one’s relationship to experience not by experience itself. You demonstrate to all of us the truth of this. I am grateful that there are members of TS who share their hopes and experiences courageously. Thank you @Englishd . This inspires me

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I also know from AA experience that I’m very often wrong when predicting the future and running the show.
Either way I know your going to be fine in the end.


I’m in the process where I am changing the things I can, and begrudgingly accepting the things I cannot change. But like many of you have said there are some good things coming out if this. I’ve had many of my staff reach out to say some really kind things. In my role I have often not sought accolades so it’s nice to hear from my employees that I’ve done a good job for them. It’s also hard facing the prospect of not having my team any longer.


While its notbgreat to hear you are being let go, I think this is a good message to put out. Too often I think there is an idea that everything will be rainbows and roses after getting clean and sober, but the real important thing is how we adjust out thinking and reactions to what happens to us and around us.

Best of luck to you.


This feels like the proper thread to discuss this. If anyone has been following my saga since this original post you’d know that I went through a rough patch with my job and housing that caused me a lot of stress. I was able to land a new job, and new apartment. I thought these things would help level me out, but alas it was not to be.

Sobriety does not promise that everything will be easy. It also doesn’t promise immediate returns on effort. Since all this shit happened I really turned to focus on my sobriety and overall well-being. I started with more meetings. Then I added therapy back into the mix. I’ve reduced my caffeine. I’ve been focusing on my physical health. I’ve connected with a new doctor. I’ve gotten some new meds.

You’d think this effort would yield immediate results, and you’d be wrong. My life is still incredibly hard. The adjustment to my new job has been hard to the point that I might not last the probation period. I got the new apartment, but I struggle with finding consistent child care, and my kids don’t like it here.

My anxiety has been through the rook for weeks or months. I am getting more bloodwork done as I think my Lyme Disease is resurfacing. My relationship is as strong as ever, but we both have daily personal challenges.

Despite alllllll this that is occurring in my life, my faith in my sobriety has not wavered. Not even once. And it’s not going to.

I am accepting that for right now my life is hard. Maybe as hard as it’s ever been in sobriety. I am doing what I can to make things better, but for right now sober is all I’m achieving.

So next time you ask “when does it get better?” Just remember that it might take a long time, but if you stay sober at least you won’t be making it worse.


Great wise words Derek…im sorry that things have been tough for you lately… i too am also finding that sobriety certainly doesnt solve everything but at least it gives us a clear head to be able to deal with lifes challenges and the wisdom to not try to run or escape them…in my simple terms i say to myself that life doesnt stop being lifey just because we are sober. Thank you for this reminder and i really hope things get better for you very soon :pray:


You have a lot on your plate. You are winning! :muscle:


Thank you for sharing, Derek. Recovery in action.

I love this and know this to be true to myself as well. What a relief during these times of turmoil that life presents us.

It would truly be a wonderful thing if sobriety made all life’s challenges disappear, but that isn’t the case. The beauty, as you say, is being sober helps us make the decisions needed and deal with life…as it is…not how we wish it was…with clarity and yes, strength…even tho we may not necessarily feel strong. You have that inner strength now.

Hoping life settles down for you soon. :people_hugging:


WOW Derrek - this was a powerful post to read. I am sorry for all the stress you are enduring and that your new job is not turning out to be all that you hoped for. I do hope that things get easier for you in all aspects of your life.

SO true that just because we get sober, that we don’t automatically or even quickly start to have a wonderful stress free life. Life is stressful and full of ups and downs. We build up our sobriety journey with tools of how to deal with these stresses. So great to see you staying solid in your sobriety.

LOVE this! You are showing up for yourself and showing us how its done. How to get through life’s BS without going backwards.

Wishing you luck with your blood results. Hope you find relief in your anxiety and Lyme disease symptoms. :pray: :hugs: