What sobriety does not promise

Sobriety does not promise that life will automatically become easier. It does not promise that bad things won’t happen. It does not promise fairness either.

What sobriety does promise is that, if you are doing the work, you will be able to handle anything that comes your way.

For anyone who has been here a while you’ve probably heard me talk about my job. You probably know that I love my job. If you’ve been here for a really long time, you are probably aware of how special my agency is to me. Prior to working there, I was a client of the syringe exchange program. And eventually, when I was ready, they were instrumental in helping me get to rehab.

I started working there about 8 months into my sobriety and I’ve been there ever since. Over the years I’ve used my passion for the work we do to be given several promotions and now occupy an upper management position that I really love. This agency is so important to me, both professionally and personally, and I bring that with me every day when I go to work.

Yesterday, a little after noon, I was given notice that due to poor fiscal health that the agency was restructuring and that my position was being eliminated. I was given a 60 day notice and an opportunity to apply for a new position within the agency, although it is unlikely I will get it.

I write this not for sympathy, but for a relation to sobriety. My first call was my partner. My second call was my sponsor. Not even for a split second did I consider a drink or a drug. I went straight into my toolbox like it was as natural as breathing air. I was able to do this because of the work I’ve done.

I know it may seem like bullshit when I preach all that “put in the work, get the results” stuff, but this is just evidence that it works. I learned how to deal with these moments because of what I learned in AA by getting a sponsor and working the steps. I’m sure other programs can probably teach these skills as well, but I don’t know anything other than AA.

So when you see me really pushing for AA, it’s not because I get a commission, or kickback, it’s because I know it works and I know that someday you might just need the skills that it teaches.


I’ve read a good amount of what you’ve written and responded too, even prior to my rehab and sobering up. I appreciate your no bullshit taking attitude when it comes to sobriety. I don’t believe addiction should be sugar coated. I also know that you walk and practice what you preach. Which is why I’m 100% positive, that when life flips you upside down, you’re gonna land right back on your feet. :v::pray:


Your passion and dedication to sobriety will bring you even better things. I understand how AA is a big part of your life, because im the same with NA. Doubt i would have made it this far without hearing the message from other addicts and working the steps. Your higher power will guide you to good things my friend.


Sorry this has happened. Very good message of how beneficial being prepared in recovery can be when bad things happen, which they will.
Good words that everyone can learn from.
Admiration for you and your learned skill set that takes you through.
Best wishes.


Well that sucks big time. I bet you weren’t expecting that shit sandwich for lunch. We’re part of the “no matter what” club so I get how reaching into that toolbox is second nature. Keeping doing the next right thing and everything will have a way of working out. Wishing you the best on this next chapter in your life and hope to read more about it.


I’m really sorry to hear about that. That sucks, and I remember you posting about some family troubles too. Life for sure is not necessarily easy once you get sober. You just have energy, clarity and tools to deal with it. Thanks for sharing.


Sorry about the job Derek, that sucks. It is such a relief to know that when life does what life will do, we don’t need to revert back to old crutches or ways of being. Sending lots of positive juju for you, your family and your next steps. :heart::people_hugging:


Wow, very cool travels you have experienced in life though. Thanks for the share!!!


I appreciate everyone’s comments. I do know that everything will be ok in the long run, but at current I am quite devastated. This job has been my passion and to potentially lose that is stirring up all the emotions. I know my post may seem like I’m just sailing right through this, but that’s definitely not the case. I’ve shed more than a few tears, and had a very sleepless night. The key takeaway though, is that despite all these big emotions, the thought of a drink or drug has not come.


I’m sorry about your job. I can relate to thatbfeeling but with that passion and your drive I’m sure you’ll find something else like it. When one door closes, another has to open right?

Also super cool to know that you didn’t think of going back to old habits and the new healthy habits you formed work. That recovery is possible. Thanks for sharing that.

Lastly I do agree with @Jasty2 that your no bs and to the point guidance is so very much appreciated. I do like that you don’t try to sugar coat and tell it like it is cause let’s face, it’s not easy, it can be a struggle every second, every minute, every hour, every day but there is hope. There is always hope. Hope for anothet position that brings you similar fulfillment. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling you that you’re needed elsewhere.

Thanks again for the share.


You’ve been through strong emotional surges in sobriety before, and probably will again. Losing your job does not have to mean losing your passion.

In sobriety, I changed jobs and stepped back into management. It was time to move on, and at the time, my kids were hitting middle school age. I made the decision to follow the money rather than my heart. I might have found a way to have both passion and recompense, but after 18 months of searching (I was a tough hire due to my felony record and stale technical skills that I let slide for years due to drinking), I chose the money. I do not resent the outcome, in fact, now that I am within a year or two of retirement, I’m quite pleased with the pile of cash, but I do regret the decision. If I were going through that again, I would pursue intrinsically or soul-satisfying work.

Blessings on your house, brother.


I really appreciate this share, and I believe in everything you are saying (about doing the work). Its such an important message, and no matter how anyone gets there (AA or otherwise) its truly a blessing to hear the stories and struggles of life in sobriety. My sisters trial is looming, the case for my nephews custody and that battle on going, and all that is to say that…stories like this give hope, that we can make it through. Life will life. Hurt will hurt. We can endure, we can grow & see where it all takes us.

I am truly sorry for this loss. It will be something to grieve and I wish you all the strength and support as you go through this. Youre a tough son of a gun, and nothing is more valueable to me then when a man shows his vulnerability through challenges. That may sound trite, but I mean it. Keep it up. Xo.


Sorry to hear about this loss. But I believe that when one door closes another opens, do not spend too much time looking at the closed door.
The “One day at a time” technique also works for a career change or during a new job search. I have been in your shoes and it can get tough.
Wishing you the best in these stressful times.
You’ll make it happen, fighters always do!!


Your path is changed another new journey ahead Derek and im sure what ever happens youl be ok, like you AA is a big part in my life now for over 3 decades and living sober is away of life now for me, as my old gran used to say Whats for you wont pass you , keep on trucking bro


I have so much respect for you, for your knowledge and wisdom through experience, it’s unreal. Thanks for being an inspiration. Never stop being you!

Sending strength and good vibes in your direction, wherever your future job journey may take you.


Yeah that sucks and im sorry to hear that…but its an absolute gift that youve given yourself to be able to deal with life on lifes terms, i wish you well in your next steps forward.


It’s for exactly these sort of moments in our lives we do the work we need to do as part of our Recoveries. It’s why it’s called Recovery (or Discovery in my case) in the first place. Sorry for the hard news Derek, glad you learned and now know how to deal with it in a healthy way. Onward.


Sometimes God does for us what we can’t do for ourselves. Many times these are things we didn’t know we needed.

Perhaps there is something else for you to do and your comfort at your job needed to be elimated for your growth leading to something new you could never imagine.


Sorry to hear of such news.
The work industry I see is getting hit hard with the inflation going on everywhere. Thank you for your post and candor about your journey. I am only a couple of years in and I just recently went through a stage where change came at me out of nowhere as well. It was at first stressful and my devious mind went to how a drink would ease my mind just for a bit. I am grateful for my relationship to Christ and was immediately reminded of all I’ve seen in my life with him. I was reminded of where I was taken out of and how that “one drink” would solve nothing. Same as you I reached to the tools I have gathered.

This post clearly demonstrates as you have said sobriety is work. You have often said we get out of sobriety the work we put in. Thank you for always being a reminder of that.


Perfectly said!

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