Honestly you don’t really love the taste of it or the calmness of it. Yes it takes your inhibitions away, but it’s the sugars in alcohol that give you that first bit or calmness, as it enters your blood stream. Then we want another beer to keep that good feeling going, till eventually were blacked out with are pants to are ankles hanging over a toilet or some shit 
. I know I hated the fucking taste of alcohol, I always said I liked it, but why did I always make a weird face when I downed if then, or feel my throat burn as it went down. Or my stomach kill, because it’s all completely shitty poison. Eat some chocolate, that will help, whip up some smoothies, and keep the exercise goin. It’s all worth it, alcohol is not
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I was the same with wanting to keep a little bit around. I was in the “I need to prove I am in control of this” part of addiction, I always lost the battle. I agree with getting rid of it. Candy does help, your replacing the sugar from alcohol that you’re craving. You can do it.
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Get rid of that beer. Then never buy booze again. That was hard for me, going to the store and resisting buying a bottle. The more you resist, the easier it gets. You got this! 
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What is happening to you?
You are changing your life. You are learning to adapt to living without alcohol.
You can’t stop drinking or drugging and expect life to be normal. You are going to grieve the loss of a friend.
We have to learn to accept what is happening to us and learn to deal with things without reverting back to numbing ourselves.
I would suggest that you search up any questions you have on here using the magnifying glass. There are a lot of people who have gone through what you are going through. And they have documented it.
Also read the big book by AA. Especially chapter 3. Where it speaks of accepting what is happening to us.
One of the biggest things we have to do is retrain our minds on how we see alcohol. Believe me, the sooner you accept life as it is and stop fighting reality, the sooner you can start living a new life.
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Be strong. You’re not alone. We are here with you too. I had two cans of Bloody Marys in the fridge for about two weeks after making my sober decision. I finally threw them away. It felt so good. Instead of celebrating with a new bottle of tequila, celebrate by throwing that beer away and feel renewed. What could be another alternative to curb the craving? How about a great big hot fudge Sunday or something else sugary and sweet 
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Get rid of the beer. One day, u won’t be able to resist, and then once one drink is in u, all bets are off. Alcohol doesn’t calm u, it numbs u. Numb is not the same as calm. As for the taste, did u always like it, even the first time u drank it? Most of us just get used to it over time.
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@DoBetterJ - Day 5, congrats. Your in the very beginning stage of turning your life around for the better my friend. It’s going to take months of retraining your brain to get there though. And it’s really baby steps that you will have to take every day to achieve your success. And i promise that you can and will stay busy as the days go by and you learn new things to do that you enjoy rather than drinking. Watching a movie, knitting, cleaning, house chores, organizing, or how about keeping a journal of your progress? That’s a great idea. There are so many things that you can do to stay busy you don’t even realize. I used to think the same way in my early sober days, and now im not kidding you, there’s NOT enough hours in the day to even get done what i need to get done or achieve daily. It’s crazy how our brains work, and addiction, it really is. But just take it easy for a few weeks. Really. And if you find your bored after 3 weeks or so sober, then add something new to do for your daily tasks. Eventually after time goes by, you won’t even think about the alcohol any more, you’ll be so busy with other things. Keep it up though! And please, don’t ruin your 5 days with that beer in the fridge. Toss it!
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OK you might not want to hear this but I only have one thing to offer and that is personal experience. I once did 18 months without 1 craving but was ignorant and thought I could have a drink so that all went pear shape. I recently got to 23 days and not a moment went by that I didn’t want to drink it was a living hell bc I wanted it so bad. I’m now on day 3 or 4 and I have not had 1 craving and have absolutely no desire to drink. Your right about not being able to keep busy for ever and personally I think you will have a relapse (prove me wrong please). Many people many times tell themselves that they want to stop drinking but the head says yes but the hearts not totally into the idea. All of our paths are different but the thing we do all have is a switch inside of us, you don’t get to choose when to use it but trust me one day it will turn on and suddenly all the planets will come into alignment and your life will become a whole lot easier. I’m not condoning drinking but maybe you have one last hurrah inside you, maybe you have ten, maybe you got the balls to sweat it out who knows but don’t worry about it bc what will be will be and that will be your story. I’ve had a million relapses so ask me next week what I think and you’ll probably get a totally different reply 
but that’s my story, if I could have done it any better I would have but we’re ill.
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Day 2 is day 2 go easy on yourself,take vitamin if so to do so plenty of water lots of sleep or rest,hit some online meetings,share and talk with family and or friends ,write down a gratitude list and lots of self love and care.
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Dump out that can of beer. Why torture yourself? You can still go out and celebrate your victories but do it with ice cream or cake, anything other than alcohol. Congrats on 5 days!
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So do you want to be a non drinker or just testing the waters? Keeping that beer says you’re not sure, maybe.
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Meetings help. You have to get out of your own head. Right now your “addict brain” is driving you crazy running in circles like a cat leashed to a pole.
He’s gonna keep doing that until you get some support, from people who understand. He’s gonna keep doing that until you start to process your pain or your history, and find new ways to be, new ways to live through your days.
Have you tried attending a meeting before? There are lots happening online these days. It can be nice to listen. It helps you feel not so alone:
Online meeting resources
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I buy those cheesecakes from Costco (the ones that are a mixture of different flavours). I have a nice routine where 2-3 times a week after dinner, my wife and I have a slice of cheesecake together, after dinner. It feels nice 
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Its like a security blanket. It is a way of holding onto a life you know, as you start a path. Nothing is wrong with you, its a normal reaction.
With that said, it will set you up to fail. Pour it out. A sober life us a far better life.
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You just reminded me of that great cheesecake mixture by Costco. Thank you. I’m picking some up. That will be a nice treat during the week.
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Hi! I am 5 days too. I cannot believe it’s going by so fast! It’s super exciting.
Maybe you should hold a ceremony with your mind as you pour the beer down the sink. That’s what I did with a favourite bottle of lovely wine. I almost felt schizophrenic as I did it because my mind became so resistant and all I wanted to do is pour the stuff down the sink. I could hear myself negotiating with my own mind, trying to gain control of the pouring down the sink ceremony.
Join a club, read books, do an online course, go get another degree, write a book, build a car or a shed… so many things to do. Love yourself. You are a project and a work in progress. Well done on reaching day 5, my twin. Let’s keep going.
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I always liked it would make me not care…running 2 businesses and working 6 days a week would keep me so stressed…my mind never stopping and driving me nuts…alcohol made me not think about work and stress…but after 163 days without it I feel so better…I had to learn new coping mechanisms …it is worth the way u feel when u stop…keep going
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From my experience:
5 days is a huge achievement. Well done.
Alcohol in the house is a bad trap set by your addict voice.
Anxiety is part of recovery, at least for me. Recovery is not comfortable, but its healthy. And you can do it, you have tolerated great discomfort before, everytime you drank- now transfer your previous ability to endure hangovers, nausea and shame to the battlefront at hand.
5 days is excellent. It took me most of the year to get past 5 days.
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Hey…congrats on your sobriety. There’s nothing wrong with you per se…other than, like most people here you, our addiction is a persistent devil. Drugs,alcohol and cigarettes were all things I put down (not all at the same time…but all eventually) my framing totally changed when I realized that the first sips,lines,drags of these vices wasn’t calming me…but rather, it was my addicted body chemistry and nervous system getting the biochemical FOX that it needed that made me realize…the drugs weren’t CALMING me…their absence was AGITATING ME. When that lightbulb clicked, I began to see those substances for what they really were. I just finished a month long 15 credit masters degree intensive…holy hell was that a lot. In our wrap up zoom meeting I realized almost everyone was drinking a glass of champagne, wine or beer and everyone had that “ohh thankfuckinggodthatsover” attitude. I realized…there was a time when I could not have imagined relaxing or celebrating or getting done with something without that “ohthankfuckinggodineedadrink” vibe. I was one of the few people to get all assignments in by the deadline. My work was consistently at the top of the group…and my thought when I submitted the final assignment? “Wow! Fantastic work you…I’m really so proud of you…let’s take an epsom salt bath and listen to a good book on audible”. I say this not to toot my own horn…I’m a schlep at best…it’s more to let you know that once the vice grip of addiction/use/calm/need more/come down/crave has left you for a while…it really does subside. Keep fighting. You’re worth it. 
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Oh! And toss that beer…ain’t nobody got time for that… 
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