What to do at night time?

Advice & Questions
1

Hi all.

Looking for some advice on how to occupymyself at night time. This will be my 3rd day not drinking.

Was not all day drinker only at night. Problem is this had pretty much turned from 2-3 times a week to 3-4 to into every single night 8+ tins with maximum 1 day off a week. For pretty much years now. Could actually be 12 tins realistically. ( Really not healthy I know).
Adding that so I don’t forget how bad it was.

Drinking outside the house made the quantity of binge drinking increase even more like my body wants to get as drunk as possible then obviously I forget what I’ve been doing or say and do things I shouldn’t say. Which is why I have decided to stop drinking. This has been going on for years. I would describe it as not having an off switch alot of the time when drinking and being quite volatile. One of these events happened outside the home earlier this week so feeling horrendous.

So I have decided to stop drinking. Last night I felt itchy at night evening time after being out of the house all day which is normally when I would drink. I did some activities to help with this such as gaming, made iced coke with lemon, played with pets. Took CBD to help relax. Still had this feeling of wtf do I do with myself all evening and how am I going to cope with my anxiety without anything to ever switch off. Realize this isn’t a healthy way of thinking and if id developed healthy ways to cope with stress I maybe would be in this boat. Evenings are just feeling really uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do. Couldn’t walk the dog again as torrential rain last night.

Keep trying to remind myself of the benefits I will see if I stick to not drinking to name a few

  • weight loss
  • work performance
  • sleep
  • skin issues improved
    And a huge one
    -being able to trust myself meeting people
    Due to not being able to trust my behavior not to be an ass drunk and meet people/colleagues and other above issues my self worth is in the bin.

Yet as I suffer from severe anxiety I need something to occupy me In the evenings.
Any advice appreciated
Let’s go day 3.

:slightly_smiling_face:

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Welcome to the community and congratulations on your 3 days.

Evenings were the hardest for me as well. For one make sure you don’t have anything in the house that you can turn to if urges get intense.

Change up your routines …even those leading up to the evening like taking a new route home. I would do my grocery shopping at night to give me a reason to get out of the house and keep busy

With the warmer weather you could do more outdoorsy stuff like walk, bike etc (hopefully when no down pours).

I enjoy knitting and puzzles to pass the time but cooking/ baking may also be helpful. Try recipes that are new so you have to concentrate on the steps.

Join meet ups to meet new people and do activities that may be of interest.

There are a few threads here giving ideas of hobbies/ activities…check them out using the search feature up top (magnifying lens :magnifying_glass_tilted_left:).

Read here…soak in all the advice and support from these threads. Engage when you feel comfortable. This space is a wonderful distraction and has helped me stay connected and sober :heart_exclamation:

Hope to see you around

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Hi @JazzyS thanks for your response.
I definitely don’t have any alcohol in the house thankfully.

I like puzzles as you mentioned like word games on mobile and tried a few last night. Cooking I enjoy but still feeling withdrawal affects right now. Didn’t eat for 30 hours initially. I have made myself eat a decent breakfast today. Would like to get back into my cooking asap. Even if simple things like homemade pizzas.
Will also look for some cooking/food related threads here.

Outdoorsy stuff during the day I have been good at but getting out to meet others is scary for me. Being toying with the idea of a fitness group but feel abit embarrassed due to weight gain and I generally just look quite unwell atm mostly due to drinking. Im hoping after I get through these initial few days I may start to feel a little better and feel some more energy and open to do that.

Some connections with other people not focused around drink would greatly help. Really quite isolated apart from my partners support who is amazing but this is my own problem to fight ultimately. In the meantime will keep checking in here regularly.

Again appreciate you taking the time to respond and hope you are having a good weekend where you are. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Go to meetings, IRL, online, dive into podcasts, quit lit, everything @JazzyS already mentioned. sleep. take a bath and sleep, read, write. best wishes.

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Maybe try in person AA meeting. You might make some connections and get more support and beating the alcohol demon out of your life

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Totally. The first week or so is all withdrawals and then you do start to feel human again.

I spent the first weeks sleeping (like a lot) and playing games on my phone. Do whatever works.

Checking in daily is awesome. Glad you are here with us :hugs:

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Meetings are mostly in the evenings because these wise people knew that us alkies would get restless and bored maybe try one wish you well

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Thanks everyone for your replies. Still pretty emotional 3 days in. Will be active in this community as much as possible not to let myself turn to alcohol. Appreciate some of the other suggestions like meetings and keeping myself busy. :heart:

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Hi @NewDay1990 and welcome!
I have a lot of anxiety myself and i really noticed it more than ever in the early days getting sober from binge drinking. You aren’t alone! It was really eye opening for me to realize how lucky i was to have the chance to find a way to spend my anxious nights rather than losing them to blackouts. So congrats on being on this side of your last drink, what a special time.

For me, it’s been an exercise in creativity, trying to fill my nights. Playing my piano, crochet, knitting, embroidery, yoga, working out, walking my dog, playing with the cat, reading, meetings. Exercise was the best for me for blowing off some steam and pushing back against cravings but everyone finds different ways through the long nights. Congrats on 3 days, that’s amazing.

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Welcome NewDay. Congratulations :tada: on day 3. Love your avatar by the way.

I cleaned a lot of house at night! Wish I had that energy back. But id never want to start over to get it.

My first few weeks I’d do my second power walk of the day around 5. Put on some angry gangsta or Eminem music and walk my ass off til I was exhausted. Then a long hot shower. I usually shower in the morning. I was taking 2 showers a day for a long time. Like Jazzy said break up your routine and do things different. After my seriously long hot shower I’d pour a nice glass of sparkling water in my favorite wine glass and cook a nice meal. A little tv with my wife. Then clean bathrooms :squinting_face_with_tongue: before bed.

Now that I’ve been to AA meetings. I didn’t go early on in my sobriety. Kind of scared to go to AA. But I can honestly, say sometimes now, just going to a meeting where I don’t know people and just listening to others is kind of thing I like to do now. I’ve learned in AA I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. I can just sit. Listen. Observe. Join in. Nobody seems to care. In a good way.

Stick with us too. Lots of great threads on here to occupy your time. We need more members on the Meme thread if that’s a thing. Laughter is the best medicine.

ODAAT
:folded_hands::heart:

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Hi there and welcome !
Fellow newbie here .. I have the same issue finding something to do at night .. You mentioned you like gaming?? I have been looking into starting to stream my favourite games so if you enjoy gaming could fill a few evenings maybe ? Plus gets you interacting with other people in a non alcohol environment ..

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Thank you. I have a black cat so thought that avatar was fitting :grin:.

I think I feel fine when occupied then as soon as I sit down on the sofa for the evening that’s when I feel the itchy feeling.
Realize though it does take some time to break a habit and form new ones.
Like the idea of evening exercise and cooking. Was walking the dog last night at 9pm, think that helped a bit.
Have done smart recovery online before, no local meetings to me but some a few towns over that may be possible In person. Bit more difficult that I don’t drive. Could be another sober goal to work towards. :slight_smile:

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Thank you. I think exercise will be a great outlet for me too.
Reading here as much as possible and on my kindle..
Walking the dog, luckily where I live it’s pretty safe late at night so walked her 9pm last night but probably could later as well. :slight_smile:

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Alot of people here have mentioned how beneficial exercise is. I have a spin class near me which I have finally bit the bullet and booked for next Saturday. Not an evening class but hopefully will provide even more motivation to wake up refreshed. I’m thinking the worst of the withdrawal symptoms will have passed by then. Here’s to seeing how truly unfit I am :rofl: (never did spin class before):crossed_fingers:

@Dazercat @JazzyS @Madds

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Thank you. Yes trying to get more into gaming atm playing some couch games with my partner and hopefully get into a few more. Hope you are having a nice Easter weekend :slight_smile:

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Hi @NewDay1990

Here are a couple of things that help keep me occupied during the evenings (along with many that have already been mentioned).

I love doing mindful colouring (there are adult colouring books for this) whilst listening to music.

I love watching a good movie or tv series.

I love to read. Since being sober, I read so much more now and I love it.

I journal.

I go on Google Maps and look at different places in the world and then research and love to make travel plans.

I call up a friend or family member and have a chat.

I play quizzes online (like on Britannica.com) lol. I love a bit of trivia.

I watch game shows on tv.

I get right into a self-care routine. Like taking my time to treat myself - wash hair, straighten hair, exfoliate, moisturize, face treatments, paint nails/toes.

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Yes! I love it. Have fun with it. I’ve never done spin class but hear it’s a wonderful time

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That sounds fun! It doesn’t matter how fit you are, remember this is about sobriety and signing up will be the hardest part. Good luck!

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I drank at night. Started as soon as the work day closed and ended the same way with me passed out in my easy chair. I had quite the ritual going.

When I quit, I had all the nervous energy. I paced about the house, because I could not and would not engage in my drinking ritual.

I started walking while listening to podcasts. Sometimes with the dog around the block and sometimes on a treadmill if thr weather was bad. I’d walk until I felt tired, which usually meant 45-90 minutes. I’d eat dinner, shower, and then read until I felt sleepy.

After about 3 months of this, I joined a martial arts school. First it was 2 classes per week which soon became 5 evenings plus Saturday mornings. This became not just my new ritual, it became a lifestyle.

I built a training gym in my garage, where I practiced my martial arts and worked on conditioning, every morning for at least an hour. This space later proved to be a huge blessing during COVID not only to me, but to my closest martial arts friends as well, as we were able to continue our training during the lockdown.

I eventually earned a black belt in my art and the owner of my school offered me a part-time evening instructor role. After 18 months, I transitioned to full time and also became a school location manager.

When that school was forced to close, I opened my own school. I now work for myself.

It all began with one of the best decisions I’ve ever made: I chose sobriety.

I have no doubt had I kept drinking, I’d be dead by now. I chose life, and that meant sobriety.

Change your ritual, and the possibilities are endless.

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Some great insights and ideas here on changing rituals and things to do in the evenings which will occupy my brain. Also need to do better with the self care part. Lots to take on board. Thank you all. :slight_smile: