I went to a women’s only meeting tonight and I REALLY liked it except as the meeting was about to start in walked a woman that I know from my past. She is the mother of a girl I used to know…and was also a friend of my mother. I’m not sure she recognized me…I basically refused to make eye contact with her.
I’m not sure how I’m feeling. I found the women very friendly and welcoming and I want to go back but can I be really open in a group when this woman knew me as a little kid to teenager?
I can understand the hesitancy. Since it was generally a good meeting though, what about continuing to go back, and just take your time with sharing until you decide if you’re comfortable doing so or not? You might learn more about what she’s like these days in the process, which might sway you one way or the other.
Are you afraid of what she might think, or is it more that you’re more comfortable being open when you don’t know anyone there?
I run into people I know at meetings semi-regularly. Sometimes it is very surprising indeed as to who walks in the door. I almost always approach them directly and chat with them to take away the awkwardness on both sides. That has never gone amiss. The only time I haven’t done it was with a lady that goes to the women’s meeting. I haven’t done it because I still have a lingering resentment, to be resolved in due course. In the meantime, we just pretend to not know each other. It’s not the best, and I definitely find the former way (approach and chat) way way more comfortable all around.
I’m sure she wouldn’t judge, because we’re all there for the same reason…but I admit that I fear this anonymity thing. I guess I have to see how it goes. I can’t assume she’s going to run home tonight and call up her daughter to say “you’ll never guess who I saw at AA tonight”.
The more I think about this the more I think I will not continue with this meeting. I just don’t think I will do well if I don’t feel comfortable opening up.
Plus this meeting was highly participatory (steps and traditions etc passed around the circle for everyone to take turns reading) and I don’t like being in the spotlight at all.
Instead I’m going to try the meditation meeting at the same time this week. I need help with meditation in general.
I originally wanted the WO meeting to look for a sponsor but I think I found someone in my speaker meeting that I liked instead. I just have to work up the courage to ask her!!! That might take me another month or 2. LOL
I went to a different discussion meeting tonight and ran into yet ANOTHER person I know. Argh. This person recognized me but couldn’t yet place me. But through the meeting I could tell he was a respected old-timer so I feel less worried about opening up in front of him…but it is still a bit disconcerting.
I’m running out of meetings in my area!! LOL
Eventually you will have to face your past. Stop running away from it. What’s the point… And who cares who you see. Your all sick and all need help. Anonmity is great, and it’s for the ppl in the rooms I respect other ppls Anonmity 100% but I am also 100% open with my soberity bc it could save someone’s life… All my old high-school friends know… Ppl I don’t even talk to anymore but every now and again they hmu on fb and tell me they are proud, or they ask for help themselves… So fuck it. Stop focusing on other ppl and focus on what you can add to the meeting and what you can gain for your soberity…
And that may not even b her home group so don’t make assumptions… Just say hello and talk to her…
But inevitable you need to stop worrying about everybody else and worry about your sobriety that’s obviously the big problem here that no one else seemed to point out so what’s going on within your sobriety that you’re so focused with everybody else’s shit cuz their shit’s not going to keep you sober just saying