Just recently signed up to face book messenger so i could call/msg my son. Out of the blue.had a contact from a high school sweetheart. Had a 5 year relationship with her. Im now married with 2 children.
I would enjoy the memories then focus on the life you have in front of you. Whatever you and your sweetheart had, you are both different people now. You have responsibilities and love for the people in your life now.
If you have feelings for her the right thing to do is nothing. Be a good husband and dad. Be sober. Move on.
Let’s look at the facts here. You’re 45, married with 2 kids, sober less than a month and you’re considering reconnecting with a love from over 20 years ago. That’s insanity. The first year of sobriety should be spent on your new way of life sober, getting to know yourself and mending relationships that were harmed by addiction. Be respectful to your family and block that person.
Play the movie forward and see how it works out….
This is your addiction looking for a weak spot. Block and move on.
I’ve had to delete contacts and block people in order to maintain my sobriety. Sometimes it is necessary. You gotta think about priorities.
Think about it like a football game (real football, not American football). You’re working your way up the field, the play is coming together, you’re getting ready for the pass or the shot - do you pause and get misty about what happened back in your defensive zone, 75 yards back? Hell no. You keep your eyes on the ball and you cut ties with the past because what matters is where you are right now, trying to complete the perfect passes and get the ball in the net. If you’re living in the past the play is gonna fall apart.
Edit to add some visuals
Here’s another one - I love this one:
You’re in the present now. If you wanna be like Messi, you gotta stay focused on the present.
Living in the past is gonna make your present fall apart. Cut ties with the past. Block and move on, or as Winston Churchill might have said:
Keep calm, block, and carry on.
I can tell you from my own experience that throwing away a family for some old flame and a romanticized memory/relationship never works out the way I thought it would. You are different people now. This also highly jeopardizes your sobriety. You’re focusing on something outside of you bringing you joy and happiness…and it just may cost you everything. I personally recommend blocking them and being an honest man of integrity in your actions by honoring your commitment to your wife and children. I don’t know if you have a sponsor or work a program, but I’d highly recommend that too if you don’t. I feel like you’re on the precipice of either continuing to climb up that mountain, or falling off right now. We want to see you win! Keep climbing man.
You don’t have feelings, you have a midlife crisis and early sobriety brain rewiring, that’s all. Be grateful for what you have and stop romanticising about past things long gone.
Wow , this sounds soooo familiar lol. Anyways , If you care about your wife at all just ignore the message and carry on with your life. Trust me, your life will be easier and happier that way and you won’t cause your wife a whole lot of unnecessary hurt because you did something foolish.
You’re a married man.. you know what to do.
Block her. Trust me, contact with an ex can only lead to heartache. Cherish the memories but leave the relationship in the past.
You didn’t do anything wrong yet. She contacted you. Did you respond?
You signed up to Face Book messenger so you can call/msg your son. Delete Face Book. There are many other ways to contact him without going through Facebook. I deleted Facebook years ago. I don’t want anyone contacting me from the past. Facebook makes it too easy for that to happen.