I’ve seen many of you mention having a sobriety toolbox, someone care to explain EXACTLY what that is or how it works? Do I just throw things in there that would remind me of why I shouldn’t feed into a craving…?
Like would I throw in it something like the letters that each of my family members had to write me about how my addiction affected them when I was in rehab or a list of how to deal with cravings? How does it work? What do you have in your toolbox?
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Well, there’s both literal and figurative.
Literal may be, exactly… a letter to yourself. Pros/cons list. Sobriety chip. Phone numbers for people you can talk to in a crisis. To name a few.
Equally important (maybe even moreso, to me) is a figurative toolbox of skills, habits, things that are learned and take practice. Like how to “play the tape through,” pick your battles, live life on life terms, doing right by others. The sorts of things one might pick up in a program of recovery. Or even more basic like taking care of one’s self (rest, eating better, exercise).
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Pretty much what @Eke said.
The tools are things we use instead of reaching for the bottle. With more than a combined 150 years of sobriety in this forum, there is a tool for every situation documented in these proverbial pages.
My 3 main ones are daily reminders that my way is not the only way. Life is happening around me, not to me and the only thing I can control is my reaction. And finally, the only person responsible for my problems is myself.
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Mine is mostly “imaginary”. Its a set of things i can do if the craving hits…from a list of numbers to call, things on my phone to read…to an actuall AA meeting. I carry all of my AA coins in my pocket as well.
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In my purse I carry a letter I wrote to myself on the morning after I quit drinking. It talks about how worthless I felt, how I hated myself, how very suck I was - physically and mentally. I pull it out when I’m in bad head space and hear the voice of a drink. I also keep my most recent AA coin with me to hold if I need a reminder of why I do what I do.
This forum is a big part of my toolbox. I promised myself early on that I would reach out here and ask for help before I ever drink again.
I regularly attend AA meetings and have found a home and people I love in those rooms.
I’m aware of where my head is before I get around alcohol. If I am highly anxious or sad, I skip social engagements where people will be drinking - or I drive separately and make a quick goodbye.
I have numbers of a few alcoholics in my phone - friends who I can call day or night when I’m struggling. They know the same holds true for them with me. I will call before I ever pick up again.
I try to spend time each day in prayer and meditation. I need to be better about making room for this in my life. Currently trying to strengthen this part of my toolbox.
When I start to romanticize a drink, I play that tape through to the end. Inevitably I see myself passed out, hateing myself, vomiting, and feeling shame so great I can deal with it - or far more terrifying possibilities. That imagery helps take those urges away.
I’m sure there is more, but those are a few of the biggest tools in my toolbox.
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I carry my consequences card. Whenever i get cravings, i pull it out of my wallet and read it over and over. One side lists all the wonderful things I get by keeping sober and the other side is what will happen if i lose my sobriety.
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My tools are this App and the amazing people on here and their support.
My journal i wrote when i was at rock bottom, just reading it back really helps.
Self care… embracing hangover free mornings, eating well , spending time outdoors, being kind to myself! Reminding myself that I am worth more than drinking poison…
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Excellent thread! Thank you. I hadn’t thought of a physical toolbox. Love this idea. Thank you so much!
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What is most important for me is replacing all the time I spent using with healthy activities.
When I least feel like going to a meeting is when I need to go the most.
If I’m feeling bored, I tell someone. I go to the gym. I walk almost everywhere or take a bus, instead of allowing myself the freedom of a vehicle.
I go to outpatient three times a week and participate in group.
On top of working, I am pretty much busy all the time. And when I feel like relaxing, I can actually relax. That’s pretty new for me. My anxiety has decreased to almost nothing.
Mentally I remember where I was just a little over six months ago. On the streets and in and out of jail. Playing that tape all the way through is a huge thing to fight those negative thoughts. And talking about what is going on in my head when I’m struggling brings me to reality.
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My literal toolbox is a fabric pouch (somewhere between a pencil case and a make up bag) filled with a letter I wrote myself while still detoxing, some prayers/matras for when I’m struggling, an AA clipping with the slogans and some explanations to them, an article about some science of alcohol addiction, and my AA chips. I keep this in my purse so I have it all the time.
I also have a velvet pouch containing some gemstones and crystals that I can hold if I’m feeling a particular emotional struggle.
On my phone I have an app called pink cloud. On it I have about 15 prayers or mantras that I can read as needed. I have another app called 12 steps that contains the big book plus some other AA literature.
Last I have some podcasts…Recovery Elevator, Naturally Recovered, and Russell Brand’s Recovery Radio.
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I think women have an unfair advantage because they have purses to hold literal toolboxes…I’m getting a fanny pack so I can carry around cool stuff too 
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Hahahah 
photos please!
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Just be warned…when you have a purse that means you become the pack mule carrying all the supplies (such as snacks and children’s toys) for everyone else!!
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Thank you all so much for your responses, I’m going to take what youve all said and see how I can incorporate it to suit me. Thank you
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I’m soooo in love with this idea in particular, I had told my sister last year that I want to make something similar to carry around in my wallet with me but of course I never got around to it because clearly I wasn’t hungry enough to remain sober which is probably why I relapsed. The time has come.
In my imaginaire toolbox is my card for my sportsclass. Doing fitness three or four times a weke helps me manage my stresslevels. But also just taking a 30 minute walk with my favorite music on my headphone helps to focus on all the good things in my life, that do not need a marinade of beer or wine to enjoy.
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No need having a tool box unless you can use them so mine is AA and they showed me how, worked up till now keep on trucking
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Plenty of mental safety nets set up, to the point where my default thinking is “do not drink”. Cravings etc are a rarity. I made my decision to not drink, and I am sticking to it. Alcohol serves no purpose for me or where I am in life. I always remember how underwhelming it was last time I drank. No way am I throwing all my work away for that.
My “trump card” that I carry with me, tucked away in my wallet, is from when I was still actively binging, August 2017.
I still lived alone back then and was on the tail-end of a heavy 3-day binge of vodka and adderall. That night, I could feel how shredded my body and mind were. I honestly wasn’t certain I’d wake up the next morning.
So I wrote a note, just in case. I wrote the date and time. How much of each substance was consumed and at what intervals. The first half of the letter was to my dog, with instructions for it to be read to him even though he wouldn’t understand. The latter half was to my parents and girlfriend, mostly apologizing.
I’ve only read that letter once or twice since. Absolutely rips my heart out to read it. If I am ever in an awful headspace or considering using, I have that letter to read. Even my addict thinking cannot override and disregard what is written there.
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This makes me so happy that my recovery has helped a fellow alcoholic/addict. This disease is so cunning that it hits us form the front, sides and back at the same time. The consequences card is something that you cam physically hold onto as you struggle and reminds you of what you live for and what will happen when you lose your way.
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