Why is it that i hit rock bottom which is whats keeping me clean now over 100 days but every once and awhile my brain fiddles around with the thought of using whether its in my dreams at night when im sleeping or once and awhile during the day i catch my brain wondering off in those moments. After knowing the outcome, the disappiontment why oh why would i even contiplate the idea of using again…So disturbed at these thoughts grrrrr!
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I relate,
I know what your talking about.
I’m sober for over 8 months, and I still have my mind telling me that I could go back to my old shit, and this time I’ll be able to control it.
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Its crazy @MoShain when you think you got things under control the brian wants to distort reality.
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I wouldn’t get too mad at yourself I’m sure I’ll be thinking about it every now and again for at least a few years and that’s normal. I think getting on this site before I go to sleep helps with my dreams. What I’m working on is using my anger over mistakes I made while using in more constructive ways. Like I finish smoking and think I’d like something stronger, well after that I immediately realize I’m way more agitated over this thing I’ve got going on with my leg and now I don’t remember the feeling I had before.
Listen I am currently right now going through the exact same thing,100 days today,terrible cravings,dreams.
It’s intense,it’s confusing,it’s something I’ve been through and got through before.
And that’s all we can do is get through the really bad times and resolve to keep going on.
I feel ya. Your brain is testing you. Succeed with flying colours. Tell it to bug off!
I get them more at night. So I go to the the gym, have a long shower or bath, drink tea, read, journal and Netflix then it’s time to go to bed. And start all over again. Cravings pass.
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@Susanna thanks yes it is currently 3:30 am trouble sleeping because of this but your right i just need ride it out …
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I do the same hit the gym have my night time tea. I guess i need to remind myself thoughts change just have to tough it out. Thanks @Sobergal91
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Sorry not much help.
It’s hard I know. All I want lately is a pip. But nooo just makes me go backwards hang in there.
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@Sobergal91 you did help even the others just by replying it kept my mind occupied. Its a new day i feel better …I almost feel like i have to disassociate from my body . Thankyou
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Theres nothing wrong with your brain. What your experiencing is normal for an addict and alcoholic… Think about it, its abnormal for an addict not to use. Our past normal, was us using. Our new nornal os us not using. So our subconscious is kind of like WTF! So dont beat yourself up too much!
For me, especially around an anniversary sobriety date, i get cravings and have using dreams like crazy! But its just getting through them and letting them pass. This too shall pass. It always passes if you wait it out. Try to keep busy and distract yourself, especially at those moments. Obsession is big with our disease. Sometimes the thought passes, other times it stays and we obsess. But as long as we dont act on it, youre in the clear! Keep up the good work! Hang in there!
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@Just4Today thankyou for the reply, i know its just feelings sometime stronger than other days. Its just that it gets so bad i mean anxiety to the point i get shakes and my legs get weak or even wanna vomit sometimes. Im good though just wish i could erase my mind of the thoughts, words, and feelings of anything associated with drugs… I guess we all want that, the miracle cure…Im thinking positive thoughts and will not let this crap bring me down thanks for sharing.