Fantastic post. Thank you. I’m coming back because I relapsed after 18 months sober. I’m not beating myself up as so many kind people have told me that for many it’s part of recovery. Just jump back on the horse but this time with a plan.
My plan
Thursday noon zoom meetings with sobriety therapist from the IOP (intensive outpatient program) that originally got me sober
Weekly sobriety therapist
Reaching out more to my sober friends.
Staying committed daily to reading (and sometimes sharing, when relevant)
NEVER EVER again putting myself in a situation where I’m stuck or uncomfortable being around drinkers again.
Working with my coach on my perfectionism which has proven to be a big trigger
Committing to never stay in my brothers house again (extremely toxic environment.).
Will keep adding. Thank you all for supporting me!
Love this post. I was actually talking about this during a group session the other day. I am a counselor and work at a treatment center and we just had some people come back after a relapse. I always ask this question and get something like “I’m just not going to use” and I always break it down with them. Recovery doesn’t work like that. Recovery is a series of small choices, in alignment with our life worth living, made day in and day out. Recovery is planning and preparation, it’s self reflection. Really the one thing it’s not is willpower. Even if it was willpower, no one is strong every second of everyday. Relapse is data. It’s information. What worked last time, what didn’t, was I ignoring anything, not facing something? When asking individuals what was going on in the two weeks before their relapse and I get something like “nothing I just got the idea randomly and went to use”.. relapse doesn’t really work that way. Relapse follows a pattern. You relapse in your mind, feelings, and (non-using behaviors well before you physically relapse. I’ve found in 5 years that my recovery takes brutal honesty with those in my life but especially myself. Self awareness is key. I cannot just vibe through life anymore. I must know what I am doing and why I am doing it.
could I suggest that alongside all this you also treat yourself… it can’t all be good habits! I have a sweet tooth so it’s invariably ice cream or the like but it makes me feel like I’m having something of a reward for not caving into temptation
That’s a good point. I forget about self care and how that fills my spirit with goodness. I often feel like I need to punish myself just right or work hard enough and I’ll be better- like the pressure it takes to make a diamond. Maybe I need to think of myself more like a plant that needs to be nourished to grow.
Hi well im hearing you loud and clear I’m a newly returned Alcoholic from the program 50 days sober today was sober sometime back for four years thought i knew it all
Then relapsed has taken me years to get back
Anyway as far as i can remember I’ve had such a fascination for graphite drawings and the artists who create them. I tried it a little but always gave up
My nightly ritual now is to practice these techniques watching on various web channels with free tutorials. No matter what before bed every night i practice, and watch.
sometimes sessions are longer than others for my practice but i make sure i do, it stops the wandering mind and gives me the best sleeps and im improving way more than i had expected.
Keep at it, there’s only one direction to go and that’s up. If you practice everyday, I’m sure you will see a lot of progress in no time.
I’ve been trying to refine and perfect my craft for a while and when I get frustrated, I remind myself that the pros have thousands of hours of practice; me, not so much. So gotta give myself grace.
Today I’m dealing with emotions of failing my wife when she says all my issues shadows her and she feels left out for me or anyone else caring for her.
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My plan is pretty simple. Hit a meeting when I feel the itch. Call my sponsor before I pick up. Keep my routine solid. I don’t overcomplicate it. Day by day works better for me than longterm planning.
and I always break it down with them. Recovery doesn’t work like that. Recovery is a series of small choices, in alignment with our life worth living, made day in and day out. Recovery is planning and preparation, it’s self reflection. Really the one thing it’s not is willpower. Even if it was willpower, no one is strong every second of everyday. Relapse is data. It’s information. What worked last time, what didn’t, was I ignoring anything, not facing something? When asking individuals what was going on in the two weeks before their relapse and I get something like “nothing I just got the idea randomly and went to use”.. relapse doesn’t really work that way. Relapse follows a pattern. You relapse in your mind, feelings, and (non-using behaviors well before you physically relapse. I’ve found in 5 years that my recovery takes brutal honesty with those in my life but especially myself. Self awareness is key. I cannot just vibe through life anymore. I must know what I am doing and why I am doing it.
.
