Are you speaking about SMART recovery? If so, smart recovery is free 
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This is so wonderful to read. I am 400 days sober, just over 13 months and doing really well. Reading about the phases and experience as you go through the first year helps me re-establish in my mind all the hard work it took to get here. The journey is hard and takes focus, determination, aided by encouragement of from loved ones and family. I am very loved and supported, and I am so grateful for that. But it can feel a little like what next, have I beat this now, what happens over the next year and the year after that, what are the milestones? Perhaps I should set some goals for myself and well keep up with reading the literature and listening to blogs. Perhaps it is time to talk more openly to friends about the benefits of being sober, my journey and to encourage them to explore this way of life too - so far I haven’t done that. So, lots of questions and thoughts and thanks again for your post.
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What about AA? I heard insurance is needed for it.
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AA is also 100% free and 100% anonymous. The only requirement is the desire to quit drinking. I’d definitely recommend trying out a few meetings to see if it’s something that would help you.
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Glad you are here to get some good advice because it seems like someone is steering you in the wrong direction.
My sobriety path is through AA so it gets my recommendation. It has changed my whole life for the better
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I went onto the website. I’ve started reading the material. Here’s to a brighter future.
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AA is free. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Donations are collected at meetings (to cover things like admin costs, room bookings etc) but contribution is voluntary and is not required.
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I so needed to read this today. It’s still early days in my recovery but I’ve made the committent to remain sober 1 day at a time. I attended my 2nd AA meeting today and I’m so proud I did. IWNDWYT
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Thanks so much. You have given me much to think about.
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Ive lost opportunities,
Ive lost control of my life,
Ive lost my identity,
Ive lost my ability to objectively discern reality,
And the trust of my five (adult) children.
My plan is thus then:
To find reality, identity, control and opportunity.
To show my children I am who they want me to be,
Attend every meeting i can and hold myself to the trust of my newfound peergroup. I know im better than this, its my deepest wish to be proven right.
As Radiohead sang, we do it to ourselves. Cross your fingers we can also undo it, i think I can.
Rational possibility or irrational justifications?
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I’ve posted before about being sober and have relapsed time and time again … but this morning I woke up and had a convo with my sister and it just hit me , I am not making this serious today (9/11) and going to try and get through week 1 and then continue pushing on .
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This last 10 years have been insane. I have lost track of the medical detoxes, rehabs, hospital visits and many close calls with my life. I always had one foot in AA and one foot out. I never wanted to be sober I just wanted some magical answer to my problems. I wanted a way to use and drink Successfully. I wanted my family to get off my back and stop searching for me. I wanted my way. I would get some time over the years many times and not do anything for my recovery but put some weight on and get a little bit of money in the bank only to go back out and every time it got that much worse. The bar got lower the consequences got crazier. Today I’m understanding the word acceptance. I accept the fact that I’m a alcoholic and a drug addict and I will never beat the game. If I pick up the obsession kicks in and I will use and drink all day every day , I will lose a bunch of weight, not eat, not work, not be productive, I will steal, I will abandon my family and if I’m lucky I will be right back in detox , the hospital or jail starting from the bottom once again. But there’s also the possibility I will die. I have no where left to run or hide and no more thinking I can drink or drug. I can’t. My plan is to work the AA program to the best or my ability and do all the things that make me uncomfortable. My plan is to take the suggestions I was not willing to take in the past. I know I can make it through today without a drink or drug and I will repeat when tomorrow comes. My plan is to keep it simple. To not over complicate the program. I don’t care about how much money is in my bank, getting a car, getting a girl friend or material things… I care about staying sober and learning how to deal with life with out being drunk or high. Staying sober comes before everything else. I want to learn self respect. I want to learn to love myself. I want to repair my past and the damage I’ve caused. I want to be a adult and not run away when things get hard. I want to be free. I want to feel peace. AA is helping me with this. There’s nothing else left to try.
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What a beautiful share Trevor. You got a story that people need to hear. I hope you get to share like this at a meeting. Save this post. Screen shot it. Put it on your bathroom mirror. Whatever you got to do. I’m so happy you made it back here. Stick with the winners my friend.
You will never beat the game.
Your true words.
I love this.
Love you man
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Thanks Eric !! To be honest I keep it pretty simple when I share at meetings and mostly just say whats working for me or my gratitude. I know eventually I will have the opportunity to share my story at one of the many detoxes I been to and when that time comes it will be good to give back and be on the other end and give hope. It’s been a long journey and I’m really amazed I’m still here . I believe my higher power has something better for me then my previous life. For a while I almost thought about deleting my account because I was ashamed of my many relapses and disappearing acts on here and when I first joined I just wanted someone to tell me some bullshit or give me a way to beat this thing on my own and continue to use and drink but I got a lot of real feedback over the last couple years being on here that I’m just now hearing. I’m going to be grateful to look back on those old posts in the future and see where I was and where I’m at. Thanks so much eric!! I’m not going anywhere. Love you too brother!
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Great post! AA has changed my life. I am glad you are pursuing that resource to keep on sober path. The welcoming and opening of one’s mind for all resources available is priceless.
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*I am taking this serious today
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Like Eric said, this is a great share. All power to you Trevor.
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Hi @ChubbyBunny welcome to our beautiful forum Amazing share👌 I’m working my steps and my wildest dreams are becoming reality today
where I felt I couldn’t I can
Where I felt shame I feel pride
Where I felt lost I feel found
Where I felt desperation I feel hope
Where I felt dark bewilderment I feel light
Where I felt aggressive will I feel surrender
Fuck knows where that came from but my higher power is working through me everyday.The AA promises are coming true for me me I wish you well on your journey my fellow @Bluekoolaid your share was beautiful too 
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Sill going strong at day 49. Doesn’t seem like much in the grand scheme of life, but it doesn’t do any good to regret. Regrets are boring. Thankful for the community of this site.
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