For those of you that became a sponsor to others, when did you decide to do so and what instigated that decision?
Today I had a lovely woman suggest that I become her new sponsor as she is unhappy with her current one. I told her I haven’t finished my steps yet (should be done in a few months) so it was too soon, but it got me thinking about the future.
So when did you know it was the right time for you?
Had gone through the steps and… my sponsor told me I should.
Then (and now) I didn’t feel ready. But then a guy asked me to. How could I say no at that point?
ive sponsored now for 32 years was two years sober and a guy asked me if i could sponsor him asked my sponsor he said youve done the steps dont see why not . he also said do it if you feel that your giving something back not for ego wise guy my late sponsor
I believe you have to of done the steps and have 12;months clean time @Ray_M_C_Laren please inform me if that not correct.
Done the steps and practising the program and at least 1 year i had 2 when asked but not set in stone
How long have you been sober Tess? The AA groups in my area suggest 2 years of sobriety in addition to completing the steps. Definitely not during the first year since you haven’t experienced all your firsts yourself yet.
I had 14 months sober and had been through the steps with my sponsor. I feel like having read the chapters after the steps is really helpful to sponsor. Except “To the Wives”. That chapter sucks
I’m only 3 months in. I told the woman I’d be happy to talk about steps with her and go over the big book with her on a friend level but not as a sponsor.
I do know people who have sponsored before one year after finishing the steps, but it was at the recommendation of their sponsor.
I like your suggestions, Ray. I’d not even had a year when I’d gone through the steps and it was suggested I sponsor. I waited a while longer.
I had a very green guy tell me someone asked if he would sponsor, and what did I think?
Well. That’s a compliment to your program if someone wants the peace you have. To me though, “You can’t give what you haven’t got.” Promising more than you have is ego and prone to creating a resentment.
So what’s sponsoring? I was taught it’s showing the steps as you learned them, so you should obviously have finished them and have some understanding.
And understanding might not come from having just finished them, so a little extra time makes sense. How much? I dunno!
But in the spirit of the 12th step, I can still be of service. Share my early experience. Introduce other new folks to the people, places, and things that have gotten me this far. Go to meetings (or whatever) together. Show support and maybe be a friend.
In that sense, I consider many, many people to collectively be my “other sponsors.”
Sorry to derail this abit but how does having a sponser work? Curious as ive never had one
I started sponsoring immediately after I finished the steps and had a working knowledge of the BB. Which for me was 3 month sober.
Helping someone through the step process is always good for both of you. If you’re not sponsoring then it could be helpful to do them together. Many people do them more than once.
I could NEVER be someone’s sponsor, whether I went through 12 steps or 12,000.
Well done how long are you sober now
Hmmm the purchase of this book indicates to me maybe you are ready… it will happen when it’s meant too
They are there to guide you through the 12 steps
I am 3.5 years sober and STILL haven’t gotten through the 12 steps! So I guess it all depends. For one thing, it took me a while to find the sponsor I have now, who I am finally making good progress with and feel supported by.
Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we try to carry the message to other alcoholics. And to practice these principles in all our affairs.
My sponsor was very hands off when it came to me sponsoring anyone. He did give me his blessing but that was it.
I know that some sponsor say that is what it takes to finish the 12th step is sponsoring someone
Not my sponsor. He said that he sees me and hears me carrying the message to other alcoholics all the time.
I haven’t sponsored anyone. I have been asked, but turned the guys to someone more qualified than me. Is that fear? Ego? Low self esteem? Prolly a bit of all. But I have and do work with alcoholics every chance I get. I’ll talk steps with em. I’ll read with them. I’ll pick up the phone when they call. Anything I can… “but I won’t do that”. Lol. Meatloaf quote.
I’ve sponsored a number of people but a good majority of people have either used and disappeared. Some have also died. It’s the nature of the disease. When I first came into recovery I had a succession of sponsors till I found the right one that suited. I’ve had him for nearly 19 years and my relationship with him has changed dramatically over the years. I sponsor is usually someone who helps with the steps. If you stick around for long enough you may well be sponsoring your sponsor later down the track. I’ve had a sponsor in the early days once who used and i ended up sponsoring them.
I had my sponsor for over 25 years he became my friend and he worked for my company after he took me on in early sobriety to work with him lol sadly hes passed away about 10 years now . like Bowimason some of my guys have passed away and some still sober now for decades, been a great journey im retired now 70 on the 23rd in my 36 year of sobriety now and its only ADAAT . Keep on trucking