I’m 36 days sober. I’ve been white knuckling it. Zero support, no plan or guidance just sheer will power.
I started drinking when I was 16, so 30 years of a toxic relationship with alcohol. I’m trying to be a better person, so far I’m doing ok. I’m trying to fill my time with family, the gym, football, work, reading.
I’ve no experience doing this so I need help, people who have lived experiences in beating this illness.
When does the cravings start to fade?
When does the thirst get less?
When can I go into a pub or a supermarket & not feel that pull?
Great job on your sober days..have you tried a meeting? So many resources out there. Dharma, AA and Smart in person and on line.
Advice ..need to focus on all the good stuff sobriety brings into your life.. Cravings do subside with time. I suggest avoiding all places that trigger you. Staying here at Talking Sober reading and posting is a wonderful start.
Going it alone is pretty rough, I don’t recommend. This community will help you navigate sobriety and you can lean on us in times of need.
The cravings last as long as you let them. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. When I changed my relationship with alcohol, cravings subsided greatly. I wrote about it here:
Personally, I was still feeling the effects of alcohol withdrawal, at some level, for about a year. While I wasn’t craving alcohol, I still felt it’s absence. The first 3 months was the strongest, the next 3 months had it’s different challenges, the next 6 months was easier.
The road to recovery is a long one, one we never get off of, as long as we chose to.
The first time I gave up alcohol and went nearly two years it took a total change in lifestyle. I’m not saying you should do this it’s just my own story but I realised my “friends” weren’t friends the only thing we had in common was drink and drugs, yeah they seemed like best buds but once I stopped drinking they slowly started to stop calling/dropping by, I realised I needed something radical, I got new hobbies, not existing hobbies I actively went out and did loads of new stuff, the better I felt about myself, the more fulfilling my life was the less I wanted to wreck it with booze and drugs.
In my opinion in my brain there is still a dark part. but after some years I was able to overwrite the simple triggers. but I know I can always fall back. because the dark side will use every trick to convince me!
I observed it a lot of times.
maybe 200 times or something idk.
now I mostly have negativ association with drugs. or sometimes neutral.
or at least i think: It is simply not for me and I will be punished hardcore if I consume it
Five weeks sober is awesome @SoberDriver! We are glad you have landed here because you (and all of us) need a sober community. It can be wherever you find it online or in person. Since you mention reading, I am curious whether you are reading “quit” lit or reading just to occupy your mind? For me, educating myself about the science of how alcohol works in our brain worked wonders. We have to learn how to break the habit loop created by alcohol in order to feel in control and manage cravings. I felt so much better at 30 days by practicing what I was learning. I highly recommend reading This Naked Mind. Also, there is an awesome podcast called soberpowered. The host is a neuroscientist and also a recovering addict. Her episodes are short but powerful.
The fact that you have white knuckled it this long shows your strength and motivation! But you can learn to THRIVE not just survive. You can learn coping mechanisms that actually rewire your brain over time and cravings become highly manageable blips on the radar.
First months are the most difficult ones, after that for me it was completly different and I was alcoholic and addicted and everything in my life was about alcohol. Now after almost 2 years I can say that you get used to being sober, it would be strange to take alcohol. I still go to pubs and parties and take water or juice whenever I want to.
I will tell you what helped me:
Sessions with therapist who told me I have to take it seriously and day by day.
Saying to everyone around me that I stopped drinking and that they shouldn’t offer me (and I would feel embarassed if I go back now).
I literally saw alcohol as poison and even if I take a sip I will die, this is how dramatically I confused my brain
I was always complimenting myself for staying strong and having strong character to control myself.
I was thinking if I get drunk how I will feel Tomorrow? Only hangover and sad because I have to count days again
These are some things that helped me a lot. Also promising to a therapist and my familyso I would feel bad to say that I am back at drinking. Hopefully it will stay this way. You will always question your decision because other people are drinking but you are on the right path with sobriety trust me.
“I started drinking when I was 16, so 30 years of a toxic relationship with alcohol. I’m trying to be a better person, so far I’m doing ok. I’m trying to fill my time with family, the gym, football, work, reading.”
I have had alcohol in my blood since my childhood days. My parents thought it was OK for kids to drink with their parents. I had a pretty toxic relationship all the way through. I am 57, and only got past 90 days after a pretty major accident.
“I’ve no experience doing this so I need help, people who have lived experiences in beating this illness.”
I personally have to rely on community, for help, understanding, and support. No one who is “normal” understands a thing about this journey. And we can talk ourselves into or out of a ton of things.
“When does the cravings start to fade?”
For everyone it’s different. Some quit once and never go back, cravings or not. Some like me, work at it for 30+ years. My cravings didn’t go away for - well - I still get them rarely at 942 days. They all got better after 90 days though. Ups and downs. You’ve been drinking for a long time, quitting can fight with you.
“When does the thirst get less?” - Mine was all about shutting down my mind. I was never thirsty for it. I just wanted it.
“When can I go into a pub or a supermarket & not feel that pull?” - I know people who go right away and others who struggle with it after 5 years. You have to know yourself and make your plan.
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome, support and help. I just woke up one morning and knew that I was outta control & needed to stop. My whole life I’ve been winging it so the idea of a plan or steps just seems daunting. No idea where to begin but this is a start.
Thanks for the signposts, I’ll definitely check it out.
. I’ve been reading some quit-lit, listening to podcasts etc. it’s made a real difference to hear people out into words how I feels hear them share their stories and realise that it’s ok to have a problem.
I’ve really enjoyed Matt Willis’s podcast, on the mend. People being very open and honest about their addiction. That’s something I’ve not done yet. I’ve just been telling people that I’m on a health kick.
For me, the cravings never faded away. I spent 3 years trying to get sober. Trying, failing, trying again. I came back here and kept learning from others. Eventually I found a method that seems to work for me (158 days sober).
I drank for 25 years. The last 10 I knew something was wrong. The last 5 it started impacting my life negatively. The last 3 I have been working hard to stay sober.
I had to DRIVE the cravings away. I had to replace the dopamine hit that my brain was craving with something else. For me, part of this is exercise. I goto the gym every single day… it makes me feel good and I now do not want to sacrifice that feeling because of a hangover. I also had to connect with new people who did not center around alcohol. Lots of people here have helped me and I’m forever grateful to them. I also read Annie Grace’s book “this naked mind”… I read it twice and it educated me on how powerful alcohol is… it’s no joke.
if I have to exercise every day for the rest of my life to keep alcohol at bay… I’ll do it. I’ll take that trade off any day.
we can all advise you, but this is YOUR journey and you’ll have to find something that works for YOU. White knuckling in my experience is not it (believe me, I tried). Whatever happens, take it one day at a time. You’ve got this
They help me understand things i had to learn and unlearn from years of active addiction. Addiction also does not go away. Our personalities constantly want party
Meetings saved my marriage and its onlg been a few weeks in. If my wife got mad at me for going to a harmless program of recovery for 1 hour, imagine whats waiting ahead.
Insted, i healed with her by showing her she can trust me.
Apologies with words are good
But apologies also mean action
…i learned that because of AA
).