When Family Are Triggers

I’m have issues in dealing with my mother. I live on my own, father, have a good job. I have 10 months sober. I have a 12 year old son who is my pride and joy. My mother has been supportive and i love her very much. However, she tends to be judgemental on my parenting and expects I act a certain way. She helps take care of my son while i work. Lately, we have not been getting along at all. She expects that since I’m sober, i should be “fixed.” She makes the disapproving “looks,” when I say something to my son correcting his behavior. If i discuss something to explain and she doesn’t understand, she lashes out with her frustration. I admit, I’m not always mr sunny happy meal either but that’s just me. I think we’re just seeing too much of each other and that creates this friction of negative vibes. I know there are deep seeded issues from childhood but too long for this. When i express myself or match her frustration, she withdraws and does the mom guilt trip. Makes me want to drink sometimes but i won’t. Just driving me a little crazy.


Guilt trips suck. I’m sorry you’re going through this. The one thing I know for sure, drinking again. Will make everything 100 times worse instead of better. That’s been my biggest take away from getting sober, the world around us and the problems do not change, how we deal with them does. Best wishes!


To piggyback off of bobby here, and something my friend and I were explaining to a frustrated coworker last night, is that the only person you have control over is yourself. The way you react to people/events is controlled by you. If you pick up again, your reactions will be controlled by alcohol. It does take practice, but realizing that there’s no way you can change the way another acts, only the way you react to them, can be freeing. You can choose to fight back, or choose to walk away. Once you figure out the correct reactions to certain situations, your life will become easier. And you’ll be able to brush things off and not dwell so much. Take it from me, picking back up will just reverse any good that has come of your sobriety. You must continue moving forward to reap the positive benefits to come. Congratulations on 10 months btw. That is an incredible feat my man :clap:


Thanks, Bobby. Yes, life can suck without alcohol for sure. I agree drinking solves nothing but makes it worse.

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Thanks Laura. Yes, thats the trick to not react emotionally to adverse relationships. Acting one way and feeling another is the challenge. Of course i can handle occasional annoyances. If i don’t present boundaries then they will keep getting pushed. I am trying to be at peace with myself and others. Much easier sober. I’m fully committed to sobriety.Issues in life happen. I want and will handle them better.