What do you do when your romantic partner doesn’t see the need for you to quit drinking, etc, or actively resists and argues when you try to talk about the issue?
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That’s a tough one. I remember crying because people/family wouldn’t want to understand, and belittle me and my silly problem.
Finally my partner understood that I am suffering with this addiction, and that I need his help with this.
Sorry I don’t have a better explanation.
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My partner didn’t support me in my recovery. He told me many times I didn’t need to quit. We were together 12years at that point and I loved him a lot. A few years later I realised he had his own reasons. He was benefitting from the chaos we surrounded ourselves with and that drinking kept ever chaotic.
It hurt badly but I got free from this dynamic.
Do this for yourself. If someone/anyone is not supportive of you getting healthier and happier, question their motives.
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No particular advice, I can give you my experience. My ex partner didn’t mind if I drank to a certain extend. Of course my addiction was holding a big party in my head. So I drank some if I was with her and a lot when she was not around. I often went of the bandwagon, so it was clear for her I was drinking more then I told. When I had a sober streak of 1-1,5 year she really didn’t knew what to do with herself. She even said that out loud. I didn’t need a caring type anymore. Sober I didn’t needed the care and my dependency diminishes or is even gone. She was co-dependent, so couldn’t handle it. We had discussion of alcohol in the house, which I didn’t want because I wasn’t strong enough in my sobriety yet. But she said her family (which came to visit) couldn’t do without. I surrendered, I told to take the left overs if she went back to her place. She didn’t, she told she had hidden it good. I opened one door, found the bottles and there went the 1-1,5 years. Now I defend my sobriety at all cost, the relation went on for some while in a toxic way and ended in a toxic way. Sober since a month after that date, which is now a little over three years.
Wish you al lot of wisdom 
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In my experience, it often means your partner also has a problem or enjoys you having one. To me abstaining from alcohol is no different than saying I need to eliminate foods from my diet to treat my health condition and stay alive. If someone argues that, they are not looking out for you.
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If your partner also drinks then they just want company with their own addiction and want to sabotage your efforts not to drink.
Editing to add that there’s nothing “wrong” with not wanting to drink or “not being able to moderately drink” or “ just wanting to quit bc you just want to quit”. Your decision to quit.
I quit in my twenties and never once regretted it. Cannot imagine it otherwise. My decision for me. Your decision for you.
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My husband told me “I didn’t tell you to quit, I just wanted you to control it”. I laughed soo hard, like I was at a comedy show. 
I knew he didn’t understand the fundamentals to recovery and sobriety. So, I told him “Okay, I’ll control it”. Haven’t had alcohol/weed in 15 months. I just do what I feel is best for me. You are YOU! You do what’s best for you. To avoid the argument, don’t explain what he can’t understand. He will never get it. There is a difference between quitting and stopping. Stop arguing and quit drinking. That’s it. Good luck love
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…don’t explain what he can’t understand.
You’re right. Once I told my partner, “i think i should quit” and his response was, Maybe just on the weekends.
…
I work 36 hrs every weekend through sat/sun
…
The ONLY time I work is on the weekends and my job is precious to me. Thats when I realized how apathetic and oblivious a partner can be.
Thank you for sharing a similar experience w/ your husband.
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Yeah. I think it’s easy (unfortunately) for people to belittle your situation becaus of how ubiquitous alcohol use is.
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Yeah, that seems to be right that some people want a companion in their indulgences.
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Thank you.
It’s interesting that she didn’t respect your request to remove the leftover alcohol in the house.
I once had a longterm relationship with a straightedge person who never in 40 years since his birth touched alcohol. But he would always buy me vodka because he knew that i was so stressed out from my university courseload the only way i could relax and sleep with him was if i was drunk after finishing my homework. It’s weird how I was so drawn to him because of his sobriety but he didn’t support mine 
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They are not looking out for you.
Omg thats right. When you said that I also realized he buys me cigarettes when I’m stressed. It’s not true support.
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Sounds to me he wants to keep you in a certain position and that’s not an equivalent one.
Well don’t know whether it is interesting she didn’t. She probably didn’t do it om purpose. On the other hand she did put them away in the house, so she could also have put them in her car. It was my choice to empty them in myself and not the sink. Well it is already a long time ago and the steps help me to get past resentment and learning to forgive so I can heal. She probably moved on and will have found another ‘victim’ by now.
Take good care of yourself 
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It’s up to you and it’s about what you want. All that we have are the choices that we make. Your partner doesn’t hold any claim to that.
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• You qualified relationship, which speaks volumes…
• If they are not supporting than what are they
doing?
Most peeps here know I give shitty advice, so take of it what you will.
Be well on your journey.
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Set a really good example, with a really high bar, for as long as you can while you’re sober and see how that speaks for itself. I’m not convinced there’s any other way to communicate the benefits of sobriety but for acting them out. Good luck, being surrounded by anyone who doesn’t want the best for the best part of you makes it very difficult.
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Ufffff. This is hard when you think about a lifelong relationship. If you think consuming is bad for you is for a reason. Give your reasons, be clear about it. I speak for myself: I don’t need reasons for consuming, I have lied to myself so long. I need reasons and support to stop this self-destructive behavior
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