So it was my idea for my fiance and I to quit drinking together. I’ve been ready for some time, but I can tell she is not ready. She drank last night and I didn’t really try to convince her otherwise. She drinks a quarter of what I used to, but still drinks excessively compared to the average person. I am here to support her no matter what, but this choice to quit has to be our own. If our hearts aren’t in it we are doomed to fail.
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Do you think your sober health is at risk here?
At this point no. Just looking at alcohol brings back all the memories of pain it has brought me. If that changes I will address it. I had no desire to drink whatsoever.
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I agree 100%.
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That’s good. There’s a simple rule in sobriety: you have permission to do anything safe and legal, to preserve your sobriety.
There are no limits other than those. Sometimes this means we do things we may not have expected to do, or may have thought we’d never do. But as long as it meets that simple rule, it is permitted. Life & the universe will take care of everything and everyone else - I promise.
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I think that it’s great that you are aware of then fact that the choice to quit has to be your own. That’s important. We can say that we will do something for a loved one, but if we really don’t actually want to, then it makes following through difficult which could lead to even more problems.
There was a time that I made the desicion to quit but my partner still drank heavily and in my presence. However, I did not ask her to quit with me. It had to be something she chose to do on her own… This eventually led to a relapse. I do not blame her for it as it was my decision. But I think That’s good that your bad memories are present enough to defer you from craving alcohol. It will be helpful if you are with someone who chooses not to quit. Stay strong!
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I’ve always known I can only control my sobriety. My wife and I drank together for probably 40 years since we’ve know each other. We kept saying we’ll quit or cut back after … fill in the blank. Millions of excuses. I finally just got tired of it 460 days ago right before my 60th birthday. She says she supports me but she’s still drinking. I’ve never felt better about anything in my life. Every day I’m grateful I’m sober and not hungover. I use to get maddening hangovers all the time. Man I feel great!! After about 11 months of my sobriety my wife quit drinking gin. She still drinks wine all day after 2 pm. Which is way better than a gin drunk passing out. IMO. I grateful for the time I have with her when she’s not drinking too much. I owe a lot of gratitude to the people on here that have supported my journey.
Did I mention I feel GREAT!!
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My husband is an alcoholic and refused to quit when I did. The first month or 2 it didn’t bother me but as time went on, we started growing apart. Everything for him revolved around drinking. He was never up early to do things as a family. I started to despise his drinking. It got to the point that I couldn’t even talk to him when I got home from work. Our conversations always turned into an argument. I couldn’t stand the slurring and smell either. I finally gave him an ultimatum at my 1 year soberversary and he quit. Now he’s seeing all the benefits of sobriety including keeping his family together and we’re enjoying life again.
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I appreciate your story very much. That is one thing I told her before I made my final decision. I told her if we keep going the way we are going we will never last. I also told her that once I’m sober and if she doesn’t improve, that I’m not going to babysit her or monitor her intake which would ultimately drive us apart in the long run.
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