I feel like I am in a prison not drinking. I did 8 days, I just hold everything in. A bomb ready to explode. Always angry. Went to my block party and had a few. I could think. I could feel. The pain, the hurt, the upset…it opened up. Went to a neighbors house and sang on his recording equipment. I felt human. I felt alive. I do not feel alive not drinking. I don’t plan to drink tomorrow. How do you feel anything but anger not drinking? Where do the emotions go if not in alcohol?
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I participate in a program of recovery to stay sober. I love it. I’m so glad to not be drinking. What are you doing to support your sobriety?
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When I got sober, being angry was the easiest feeling to have. I was mad at the world, ready to fight anyone. That lasted for like 2-3 weeks, all the while I was getting to meetings, going to my IOPs, going to work, angry walking like 10 miles a day. Then funny enough, I started to soften and feel sadness for time wasted, things I had done and said, for the example I had set for my kids and all they had witnessed. Then funny enough again, I started to hope and experience some happiness… happy I was sober, that I still had a job, that my future might not end up in a gutter or a jail or a morgue, that I mighy redeem myself and be the dad I always talked about wanting to be while I was a drunk.
This carried on for what felt like a long time… but it really only took like 2 weeks to go from angry sober to happy sober. By 40 days sober i was a completely different person then then the sober angry bull of day 4.
I blame the meetings and step work, the IOP group sessions and the daily higher power talks for it. All that crap made life worth living, it made life tolerable and then enjoyable sober.
Why are you trying to get sober? Are you desperate to stay sober? Are you willing to do anything to be sober? Getting sober is easy, staying sober is an arduous task.
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I blame all of those too! Lol. I love the way you put that. Recovery meetings and support are still crucial to me today. Love this new sober life.
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Why do you want to be sober? Do you want to be sober? Many times over the years I tried to get siber for other people, and it often felt like a punishment. Finally, this time, I have chosen to get sober for myself, and it has made all the difference in the world. No one can choose sobriety for you. But if/when you commit to it, the benefits far outweigh any drawbacks. My 2 cents.
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