Hello,
I am new here. I have never done anything like this… my dad is an alcoholic of over 27 years (I have never lived a single day of my life where my father was sober)… anyways you would think I would have stayed away from alcohol, but I haven’t… it started as a social thing. Only drinking when I was with friends, then it turned into a weekend thing… now I find myself drinking more and more to deal with stress or help me sleep. I’m questioning myself and wondering if I am turning into an alcoholic… everyday I tell myself I won’t drink tonight, but I end up doing it anyways. It’s not large amounts. I drink two glasses of wine a night. It’s becoming a regular thing. As much as I would love not to drink I find myself going to the liquor store more then I would like too… I use it as a tool to cope with stress and panic attacks.
Welcome. I’m glad you took the step to start exploring your relationship with drinking. I can relate to your story. I started drinking only with friends and then in the past 3 years or so it slowly progressed to drinking at home to wind down on weekends and then to drinking nearly everyday to deal with stress. It really started to weigh on me and I was feeling more and more shame about it. Like you, I have experience with other addicts in my life and felt I should have known better than to let it get so bad. Tomorrow I will hit 40 days sober and that’s more sober time than I’ve had in a really long time. Reading through these community posts has been really helpful for me.
Hello and welcome.
My mum was an alcoholic for 30 years before she got on drugs.
I hated her drinking. Embarrassing, inappropriate, careless and dangerous. Exactly what happens to me when I drink now, and for the past 19 years.
I drink about 3 times a week but ill drink 10-20 beers, and it shows in my behavior when I do drink.
I’m currently in a multiday hangover, missed court, been throwing up bile cause I don’t eat when I drink, and can’t leave my bed.
If you ever want to reach out. Feel free. I’m making the decision to use Sobertime more and more and engage with others who are in a similar situation.
What about your drinking habit concerns you?
Stay strong.
Welcome to TS 
When you are asking yourself it is obvious you already DO have a problem. You are using alcohol to deliberately alter your state of mind instead of seeking distraction and rest through healthy activities like excercising, meditation, hobby, social connection etc.
Read around, you are not alone. Add tools to your sober toolbox, take it one day at a time, get rid of all alcohol in the house, hit a meeting, develop a healthy bedtime routine, read quit lit, keep yourself busy during your usual drinking hours, change routines, go to bed early. Keep us posted!
For the newbies:
Welcome here! 
I think you are seeing your drinking just as it is: a problem. It’s not manageble anymore and it will become worse if you are keep drinking.
So I’m happy you are here! 
I was a every day drinker myself. Drank wine almost every night to help me relax. It wasn’t easy to quit, but I wanted to be in charge of myself again. I wanted to be free!
I hated that voice in my head telling me I “deserved” a drink at the end of a hard day.
I hated my weakness when I caved in at a “I do not drink today day”.
I hated conversations with my hubby about my drinking.
I hated my black outs.
I hated my headaches.
I decided: no more!
Almost 5 years sober and happy with my sober life. I’ve found other ways to relax, unwind after a shitty day ore celebrate life with.
I wish you the same!
Where do you start?
By just say no. Say no to alcohol today.
Trow away all you have in your house. Tell the people close to you about your sober plan so they do not offer you drinks. Avoid all alcohol related events, people and places. So no pub, restaurant, festival, liquor store, etc for a while.
I even ate no pizza for a while because I knew I would cave in to have red wine with it.
And…be here much! There is so much info to find here! I am here almost every day! But it pays out, hard work always pays out!
Do you really want it?
Go get it! 
I think when you start to use any kind of substance as a means of comfort or escape you then cross the invisible line into dependance…after that unless you get sober you will use that as a go to for any situation that arises then once you use it enough you become addicted least thats what happened to me…for me i now know that i cant ever go back across that line and be a normal drinker because even just one drink will send me back into the oblivion that my alcoholic mind just adores…i think maybe youve crossed the invisible line too?
Start at the next meeting
Today is day 50 of my sobriety journey! I am proud of myself. I have been to a meeting every day and I am shooting for 90 meetings in 90 days. I won’ t stop there. I see myself going to my 7 o’clock meeting every morning which is my home group. I have gotten great support there and have made many friends.
Today I am struggling with letting go of my best friend, for my sobriety’s sake. We used to talk every day. She is struggling right now with addiction, and she is in a very toxic relationship with someone who is contributing to her substance abuse. I feel like I have left her all alone. I know that I need to do this for myself. This is the one thing that I can be selfish about. I still feel as though I’ve left her out in the cold With no one else to turn to. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to deal with this guilt?
Hello and Congratulations!! I am so very proud of you for your progress and for setting healthy boundaries. Sobriety is so precious and you are protecting it. Way to go!! To say that it isn’t easy is an understatement. Hopefully some of my own experiences can be encouraging for you.
When I was in a really bad place (not yet rock bottom but getting there) my very best friend had to cut ties with me for her own sake. She told me that she couldn’t have my toxicity in her own life and how I had changed so much due to drinking and that I wasn’t there for her or being a good friend - she had many examples to choose from. I mourned the loss of that friendship so deeply. She said what she had to say, told me that she still loved me, and asked me to respect her boundaries then ended the conversation.
When she found out I was in rehab she showed cautious support and love and we have been able to rebuilt our friendship. I cherish my second chance. I hope one day this will be the story that your friend tells.
Also, I met a friend in rehab and we became close and stayed in touch. She quickly took a turn back into drinking and it paid a toll on my own mental and emotional health - the drunken phone calls, the fear for her safety, the frustration and sacrifices of time, attention, and sleep…I ended up having to place my own boundaries with her. I think this was helpful for her and shortly after I heard from a mutual friend that she had gone back to rehab. I sent her a text so that she would see it when she completed the program.
She contacted me from a sober living house a month later and told me she was sorry and she sounded so much better!!! We both really needed to focus on our own sobriety and steps toward healing and it really helped us both. Doing the right thing was painful but healthy and there were benefits to all involved each time.
I admire your strength and determination. You are amazing!! Give yourself a high 5! - and a hug 
Thank you so much! I have been so busy with meetings and family visiting that I haven’t been on the app to read the messages sent by my sober family! Thank You so very much! This means the world to me
I’m grateful you posted that @erntedank. Fiirst of all welcome to TS @Emcole01 glad you are here.
This is my observation. "As much as I would love not to drink I find myself going to the liquor store more then I would like too… I use it as a tool to cope with stress and panic attacks. " . You are self medicating Em. If you think about it you answered your own question. Yes you are abusing alcohol . Panic attacks are quite serious. Have you considered speaking with a medical professional? Or perhaps a stay at an inpatient rehab facility? Both of those helped me greatly. Getting a proper psych eval was crucial for me. It could be for you as well. You have total love and support here. Keep in mind we are fellow travelers and not trained professionals. Sometimes a professional is called for. I look forward to hearing more from you. Again,welcome.
First of all congratulations on 50 days. Great job @Lmjohn . I have the utmost repect for 12-step recovery . It is true what they say it works if you work it! I have a home group but there’s some friction between moving parts. I’ll spare you the details. I am a grateful member of Refuge Recovery a Buddhist based path to recovery. In
this program I have learned this hard lesson . All beings are responsible for their own actions. The freedom or happiness of others is dependent on their actions not on my wishes for them. I know as people pleasers this a hard pill to swallow. I repeat these phrases internally as a kind of mantra when I feel the codependent urge rise up. It is out of your hands. Pray for her 
but be selfish,yes selfish about your sobriety. And do not let guilt take you down that rabbit hole. All the best.