Hello!
There are a lot of you new here. We will see more in the coming weeks as well. You are going to ask a lot of questions, get a lot advice, and hopefully have a lot of fun and fellowship while you are here.
Before I get into my journey…lets talk about what us “old timers” see here…every year at this time.
Some of you will make it. Some of you will not. Some of you will listen, ask questions, seek help from us. Some of you wont.
Some of you will be passive watchers learning. Some of you will be extremely involved.
Some of you will wear your heart on your cuff and bare your soul to us. Some of you will fight us, because our advice wont work for you.
We are all so similar and all so unique at the same time. Our addictions took alot.
For me…this is my journey.
I was a heavey drinker for 2 and half decades. Truth be told, i always knew I had a problem…And I always knew I could fix it. (I was wrong!)
What lead me here was a going away party I threw. It was full of booze and women. The going away party was for me. For the next day, I had planned to pull a lawn chair to the middle of my back yard, drink a bottle of Jack, then put a gun in my mouth and say good bye.
The gun was in my mouth, and I heard “try sober”…the rest is history.
I tried going to AA the next day…just couldnt get myself to actually go. I drove to 5 different meetings, each time chickened out and drove home.
I lay crying on the couch. I decided maybe If I kept track of my days, it might help. I looked at my APP store…and found Home…this wonderful forumn.
I got here like many people. The AA group suggested I go to a meeting…I proudly proclaimed I didnt need AA. It was suggested, that I keep it as an option. I survived 89 days here without AA. I lived on here…listening, participating…and for 89 days, my soberiety got better.
I also did a lot of other stuff in those days to enhance my soberiety…for the most part it helped.
Then day 89 came. I was worried, the cravings were dad. Day 90 just happened to be the anniversary of the death of one of my sailors. It always tore me up that I didnt deliver him safely to his mother.
As day 89 progressed, the urge to drink strengthened. I did go to sleep sober…but day 90?
I knew deep down, I wasnt going to make it. So, i actually attended an AA meeting. It was wonderful!
My AA journey probably wasnt typical. I went to meetings about 3 or 4 times a week. Worked all the steps on my own, initially. It helped, but I needed more. I broke down and got a sponsor…and did all the steps with help.
Last March I hit 4 years sober. That day, I started Recovery Dharma. I wanted something knew, I felt I was stagnating in AA. My sobriety is important to me, so I wanted to keep working on it…get new tools for my tool kit.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE, LOVE LOVE IT!
The point of all that, keep working on being sober, if something isnt working…dont give up, dont give in…get on here and find another way.
My life now is so much better. There are good days, bad days, fantastic days, and miserable days. Thats life. However, being sober just makes everything better.
If you are new, and are still reading…here is a little more advice.
There is a good chance your emotions are going to be all over the place, you are going to be raw, irritable, sad, guilt ridden. You are also going to find a LOT of good stuff too.
Stick around, be active…
YOU ARE WORTH A SOBER LIFE!
Much Love,
Thirdmonkey
