I have been on and off of this train throughout my life. I have had more sober days than I have had days. I have messeup up. The summer comes around and the craving starts. Your mind trick you into thinking its going to be good. And it just isnt. And its not like anything bad happens but the anxiety afterwards is horrible. I dont like who I am when I do indulge I look at myself and cringe. I was happeir when I was racking up the days and taking sober selfies. Well I will start over again… heres to day 1.
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Glad you’re back. Yes summer can be very triggering, I like to tell on myself right away if I feel or sense me wanting to Indulge. Through each relapse I always learned something new. My biggest thing I’ve learned is I absolutely can’t work on my mental health at all, if I’m struggling sober or even having a good time sober I can almost guarantee drugging won’t help any of it. My last relapse I remember falling asleep with narcan next to me bc I just wasn’t sure if the was the alcohol or drugs making me sleepy. Fudge all that crap.
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Each season has its own challenges, but the summer is the most challenging. One way you could look at it is summer has the most opportunity to be productive and get out and have fun. Waking up in the morning with hanxiety. Is not a good start for anything productive or fun. Think of it that way, think of the mornings. You can do it! And I can guarantee you won’t regret it. Today is my first day of summer vacation, and I was just thinking to myself, I got more accomplished before 10 AM than I used to during an entire summer vacation when I was drinking.
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Welcome back. I suggest you read your wonderful post everyday when you awake. Remembering for me that life while drinking was horrible. I am fortunate I never was one for socially having fun with alcohol. Personally I was always alone, sad and sometimes ended up in places no one ever wants to be. I am glad you are here with us.
I am off to my meeting. Can you get to a meeting?
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Thank you. I feel more than just off. Also entering that age in a womans life where hormones fluctuate and depression can set in. Energy levels are low and I think im ugly. Yes grab a meeting for me.
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Welcome back… you’ve been here before, you know what to do. Look on the bright side…. We all know how slow time passes in early sobriety…. This is going to be a long, slow, sober summer !! WoooooHooooo 
Think how clear headed and fresh you will feel rolling into Fall 
I’m excited for you. Keep posting.
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You have guts. You have determination. You have experience.
Can you recognize when you are starting to slip on your thinking? Can we help you, keep you accountable in some way?
You are far too precious to waste your life struggling. You deserve a sober life, that good happy life.
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Glad you are back. It took me some time as well to realize that there is absolutely nothing positive about me drinking. And as we get older, it gets worse.
Perimenopause is a time of great change…what a gift to add sobriety into the mix. It helped me immensely to be sober thru the tail end of that change.
You can do this. 
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Happy you’re here. Here’s to day one. ODAAT for us all. Don’t go it alone as your mind (just like all our minds) will trick you into relapsing. Together we can do this. The opposite of addiction is connection. To ourselves, to our peers, to our near and dear, to the world. 
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I feel for you I really do. I don’t know how many times I justified my drinking or drug use or found reasons to go back out but realistically there never was a legitimate reason or good reason. It was always bullshit reasons But thats speaking for myself. There is no reason good enough to relapse. This time around I realized I had to do a lot of things that I didn’t necessarily want to do. I had to go to meetings on a regular basis, share at meetings even though it made me terrified at first, call other alcoholics and interact with them, work the steps which helped and still helps me deal with my resentments, Character defects, fears and anxieties and working through the amends process. Basically making things right and cleaning my side of the street and dealing with my past and learning how to deal with the present and the future. This last time coming back I realized I tried every single thing except 100% committing to a recovery program Which there is lots of different programs or ways to get help. If I’m being honest being uncomfortable from time to time is what makes you successful at recovery. I’m really glad that you made it back and you’re still here with us. Because at the end of the day this is nothing to mess around with and I’m happy you have another chance at recovery. You can recover from your past and the things you have struggled or gone through. You can feel content and anxiety free without alcohol. You’re just going to have to really work at it every single day and you cannot let your guard down no matter what. Now that you know or realize summer is very triggering for you then that’s when you double up on meetings and make sure you’re calling other women in recovery especially every day. Sharing at meetings, coming on here a lot and reaching out whatever you have to do to stay sober. You can do this. I know that you can. And it doesn’t have to be all about the recovery program.. My program takes up maybe an hour of my day or hour and a half at the most. The suggestions I follow from my sponsor like calling other alcoholics, meetings, journaling, talking to my higher power really doesn’t take up that much of my day. Find something you’re passionate about and do that to help you feel better. For me it’s riding my bike and playing music. Find something that makes you happy and stay busy with positive things and recovery and life will only continue to get better for you
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