We’ve all been there. It’s addiction. It’s the definition of addiction. It is taking something or doing something without being able to stop yourself, and even if there are negative consequences.
For me, my first step was connecting with a recovery group. I am in a twelve-step group, and for me that has been very significant. You can check out www.NA.org to find some meetings near you (there’s also hundreds of meetings online). People in the meetings will understand. They will understand you in a way others do not.
There’s also SMART Recovery and some other recovery programs too. There’s a list here:
Welcome to Talking Sober! You’re at the beginning of the journey. It is a long path, but like every path, it is always one step at a time, learning from people who have walked the path before.