Who are you without substance

It’s only been 6 days and I’m struggling really bad. My friends all want me to go out with them but I cant trust myself to go out without relapsing. I need a new social group. I’m reaching out here to find support to share my story with whomever is willing to listen.


@Missy.Marie I’m at day 4. My cravings tend to get bad around a week or two.

Yeah finding that social group would be best. Have you been able to attend meetings (SMART or AA or others)? Some of them do have fun without alcohol or other substances.

Hang in there! We’re all in this together

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@Redemption My social anxiety has kept me from attending meetings in person :frowning:

@Missy.Marie yeah that can make it very challenging. How about online ones? Or online peeps that you can find?

So far I found this app not sure where else to look.

@Missy.Marie its a good start! I’d start reading through other people’s threads and connecting with people here.

You can google online AA meetings and I’m sure you’ll find some. You can even opt to not talk in the first few meetings and just listen in.

Good luck!

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Hey there! I found it helpful to be a hermit for the first 4 to 6 weeks. I know it can be boring when you’re not used to being alone all the time, but it might be necessary. It takes a long time to fully detox and staying in will ensure that you do fully detox.

Meditation can help relieve anxiety and depression, only takes 5 to 10 minutes a day.

Hang in there, it really does get better!


I’m on day 11. I have bad anxiety too. The folks in the meetings are very nice and they all understand how you feel. I’m super shy and don’t say much and I dread going, but once I’m there I feel relieved to be around other people who understand.


And don’t beat yourself up. It takes a lot of courage to make big changes☺

I am a decent human being with out it. With it I was a shell of a human being. Honestly in the beginning I didn’t depend on friends. I focused on not drinking, being with family, and working out. My friends who support me don’t ever ask me to drink. You might just need some time away from friends if they all party. Do you work a sobriety program?


Girl you on fire tonight.

At 6 days in, most people are pure white knuckles so just enjoy staying in, eating poorly, hanging with the fambam and working out your frustrations.


Being a hermit worked for me. Music and Netflix helped take my mind off thinking about it. First 3 days i just became a couch potato. 10 days now and last night was bad but I had the family and the Remembrance festival on tv. Gave me some thing to think about other than my problems.

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Without substance, I have more substance where it matters.

Welcome to the community, @Missy.Marie!


I inhaled books for a couple of weeks on quitting drinking. When I did venture out, NOTHING had changed and I had missed NOTHING.

You might even find new groups of people as you start doing other activities apart from using.

Be kind to yourself and congratulations!


I’m on day 7 and going the same boring route. I’ve watched more tv than I have in years and thank goodness it’s football season, so lots of doable tv watching. Also have been resting up and truly listening to my body when I max myself out. I’ve lost drinking and gained lots of much-needed naps, and the pros on here say it gets better. I feel better every time I wake, even if I’m falling asleep to avoid doing boring things at home. I’ve gotten lots of time to make new goals and will be joining a gym this week.

When I first stopped drinking, I talked with the one sober person I knew. I remember tearfully saying to him, “I don’t even know who I am without a few drinks in me.”

His response? “Give it a little time - and you’ll find out that you are exactly who you were supposed to be before everything got so fucked up.”


Coming up on day 11, for the 2nd time. Made it 160+ days the first time. Being a hermit really helped that first time through…not an option this time, cuz of the holidays. Not sure how it’s going to play out this time, especially with the anxiety.

I had become an emotional zombie, the last year of my drinking. Wasn’t the husband, father, friend I should and could be, while drinking.

Without drinking, I am a better everything, an I keep getting better at getting better each and every day, 345 of them, one right after the other.

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It helped me to only think about staying sober for 24 hours, not more! And I did the same the next day, and the next day. Thinking about a month sober would’ve freaked me out.
I used meditations every day and every evening before falling asleep, especially those who help you stay sober. Focussing on the positive things, eating healthy and trying to get distracted in the first weeks with a lot of bad movies, cleaning my apartment and taking walks.
You’ve got this :kissing_closed_eyes:


Hey, thanks for sharing. Love the topic!
Who am I without a substance?
I’ve got a little time under my belt and it’s taken me a lot of time to figure out some what of who I am.
I can tell you this, my purpose is to help someone else. And it’s taken me a lot of time to figure that out. I’m sober and I love life today. I want to be a productive member of society, because for so long I was not. I’m dependable and can hold down a full time job. Hell, I even arrive early for work. So not me while drinking and drugging. I’m also an artist, I love to write. It’s just a hobby, I’m not even that good lol. I’m reliable, I sponsor two ladies today and they can depend on me. I’m a daughter, a wife, a aunt, and a grand daughter. I’m a go getter. Rather than just wasting away on my couch, I get out of the house today. I go to parks and on drives and to the movies. I’m more than just someone who is drunk in a bar all the time. And by not using and drinking, I have money in my pocket to do things. Like go on a vacation. Or get married and throw a big reception, which I just did! Got married over a year ago and just had a reception/get together in September. Not traditional what so ever, I know lol.i met the girl of my dreams, sounds corny, but true. God put her in my path at the perfect time. Shes a great motivator for me today and very supportive on top that.
I take it one day at a time and go from there. I start my day off praying and then leave the rest to the man above. I’ve found my purpose today… took some time but it’s nice to look in the mirror and not hate what’s looking back at you.
If you exert need to talk, I’m here.