Who to tell?

Who do you open up to about your addiction?
Work?
Family?
Friends?

Anyone or nobody, why, and how?

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This forum :wink:
Everybody i know, knows i drank. They dony know the extent though. I just had a co-worker ask when i was going to start again. I just shrugged knowing the answer is never . So i guess it depends on you. I really havent told anybody how bad i was, my wife doesnā€™t even know.

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My girlfriend and 3 close friends know Iā€™m an alcoholic and in AA.
My mother knows I no longer drink, but doesnā€™t know Iā€™m in AA.
My coworkers and other family members have not been explicitly informed that I no longer drink and Iā€™m kind of dodging that conversation so I donā€™t have to answer the inevitable ā€œwhyā€ (it gets tiresome).
When I meet someone new, I just tell them I donā€™t drink, plain and simple. If further down the road I end up closer with them as a person Iā€™ll tell them about my addiction and past, but I donā€™t lead with it.

I do this less out of shame per se and more out of
a) a desire to preserve my professional reputation (I work in a sector of human services where any history or hint of alcoholism is very frowned upon), and
b) a conscious effort to remain humble and act in before I act out (I donā€™t go telling everyone what a great job Iā€™m doing with my sobriety because I know with my alcoholic mind thatā€™s a slippery slope to making others responsible for MY sobrietyā€“i.e. ā€œI was happily sober when you were praising me for my sobriety; therefore, if I relapse, itā€™s your fault for not praising me enoughā€).

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I havenā€™t told anyone as yet. I have in the past and the ā€œhere we go againā€ and eye rolling really put a negative spin on things.

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same hereā€¦ well, I told some people that Iā€™m not drinkingā€¦ but I donā€™t think anyone thought I had a problem (?at least I donā€™t think so). I have been more present in peopleā€™s lives, Iā€™ve only forgotten one school function (doh!) and becoming more confident and productive. Actions speak louder than wordsā€¦ We donā€™t have to tell anyone anything about us, just show them who we really are:)

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Being Irish and a bar manager in Portugal itā€™s difficult to keep a secret. 80% of my customers are Irish on holidays for a cheap drinking holiday. I get offered by every customer all day everyday to buy me a drink I just have to say I donā€™t drink. Then comes the same response every time ā€˜your Irish and you donā€™t drink,whatā€™s wrong with youā€™. I realised itā€™s easier to tell the truth. I always say ā€™ itā€™s suits some it doesnā€™t suit others. Iā€™m a messy drunk. I will however take the price of that drink and put in my tip jar.

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Told nobody how bad it was. I tell people - if asked- I donā€™t drink for now cause I want to (health)and not specific I cannot drink just the one beer/wine.

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When I got off booze, I told pretty much everybody. A lot of folks were surprised, but I was a very high-functioning alcoholic.

With porn, Iā€™ve told nobody but this forum. Iā€™m not sure I could breach the topic with my SO, and certainly donā€™t want my daughter to have that image in her head. I think thatā€™s why this one is so hard for me. I lack the in-person support network I had with booze.

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If it helps any, I found porn on my husbands phone and confronted him about it. He told me that he hates looking at it but canā€™t stop. It was awkward for us and embarrassing for him, but I respect him so much more now for being open and honest about it. He hasnā€™t looked at it in months after that. Hopefully your SO can show you the same respect and love to help you through it. If so, tell!

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I told my mom and my boyfriend of course knows - he is trying to get clean right now as well. My dad (and multiple people in the family) are alcoholics and I know she was worrying about me. Other than that, my family knows I drink - but not to the extent that it got to. I havenā€™t told my best friend yet, though I need to - as she is always wanting to drink. I just donā€™t know how yet.

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I have to tell my 2 best friends too, but we all have families so its a different situation, but i donā€™t think either will have a negative reaction. Im pretty confident theyll be very supportive.
I wouldnt worry about telling your best friend, they usually dont get the title of best friend on accident.

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I tell everyone. Lol, but really. I lost a bunch of weight since getting sober. People notice that and ask if I lost weight and how did I do it. All I did was quit drinking and the weight fell off so thatā€™s what I tell them. And Iā€™ll tell ya, in almost 8 months I have not had one person say anything that wasnā€™t positive. Most people donā€™t care one way or the other.

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I greatly appreciate your input. Youā€™re right - Iā€™ll tell her when I have a better handle on things as far as my mood goes. Withdrawals have hit hard and I know Iā€™m not in the best mind set right now.

I told family and friends first. Its very important you let the closest people to you know about your addiction and your decision to live a clean and sober life. You need to know who will support your decision so you wont get into bad situations or situations that might pressure you.
NA always helps me as well :slight_smile:

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How do your family support you? What ways? I think this app has been my biggest support.

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This app definitely supports me. But getting support from my family is really important to me. My family supports me by not bringing alcohol or drugs around me. They donā€™t pressure me at all to drink or go out to the bar with them. They always ask how my NA meetings are going and encourage me to get more invovled in activities that donā€™t involve any drugs or alcohol :slight_smile:

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Keep on strong!!! :pray::pray::muscle::muscle:

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Thatā€™s really nice. I remember when my sister left rehab, going home was not an option because my mom was unwilling to make her home alcohol free. She ended up going to a friends parents house, whom she barely knew. Sometimes family systems highly contribute to how people get to where they are.

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Other recovering addicts.

You are lucky.