I’ve been reading through many posts recently by some of those with higher number up near or beyond a year, and it’s got me thinking about my own trajectory.
I plan to move to LA to work in the film industry basically right out of college in January, and I’m trying to look at that as a bit of an opportunity for a social reset. I’ve been feeling for the past 3 years here that I trapped myself socially in this college environment. I’m a very social person, but I’ve noticed recently that I’m rather picky with whom I actually spend time.
I know the city is notorious for a lot of fakeness: film, pop culture, music, in general, the entertainment industry. But I can’t help but think I may find some cool people down there that can help me look at myself differently. Right now, I’m surrounded by people whose character I don’t really line up with. People who don’t have a strong sense of responsibility to others or an awareness of their own actions. I know that I’ll be confronted by a lot of frustrations down in LA, but I’m trying to stay as optimistic as I can that I’ll find some cool people down there.
Any of yall who have moved during your recovery process, did you find it was helpful in jumpstarting a new social environment for yourself? Or was it a distraction that served to bury progress in the background? Something in between? Let me know! I’m super curious about your experiences.
No matter where I go there I am. I’ve had something like 13 addresses since 2015. My problems always followed me around until I addressed them. A geographical switch without working on yourself will not change anything. I suggest getting involved in AA or SMART or something similar when you get to LA so you can immediately build a sober network.
Yeah moving helped me a lot. I went from upstate NY to Kyoto, Japan. I welcomed the change.
I think it depends on finding a place you feel comfortable. A long time LA resident told me you meet the best and worst people there. Good luck to you!
Also in the “wherever you go, there you are” camp.
I took an opportunity thousands of miles from home at a time my own issues weren’t painfully obvious to me yet, just nipping at my heels.
A couple years later it turned into a runaway reaction, accelerated isolation, not seeking much in the way of support, and on my own. Eyes wide shut. Took me years and my lowest low to finally get down to brass tacks. Funny cuz I thought it would help me grow, but I wasn’t done sinking yet.
That said, others have different experiences like @C-sun when they go into it eyes wide open.
I’ve meditated on the avenues before me lately, too, including moving back closer to family. With some sober days it looks different now and you ask a solid question.
For support and those we seek out, this past year has evolved into a profound love for those I meet in the recovery community. It takes time like any relationship building does. But sober alcoholics have quickly become my favorite people for life in general.
If ever I move, I’m heading straight down to the nearest meeting and saying hello.
Moving made most things harder for me, not easier. It didn’t fix anything except giving me stability (no more crashing with friends and family). I did get other benefits from the move, but more in the personal development realm than specifically recovery.
Are you going to have any supports where you’re moving?
I would try my best to be as realistic as possible with your expectations. Being lonely with all that stress and frustration of setting up a new life, before you have the chance to develop local friendships. Probably will be feeling that especially strongly if you’re also very social and picky with whom you spend time. What will you do if the friends you’re hoping for are slow to be found, and when you do find them, most only want to socialize in booze land? I moved seven months ago, and know roughly that many first names here, two of which I’ve had repeat conversations with, none of whom are friends. But being employed and putting yourself out there more than I have will land you a different outcome, my point is only that nothing is guaranteed.
I’m not saying moving is a bad idea at all. I think you should decide that on the non-recovery-related merits, then just make sure that you’re ready to handle it. Expect to be facing the same recovery challenges you are here. Same lesson in a different classroom.
