Why am I so addicted to something I know I don’t even want anymore?!?!
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Hi there. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t use logic to treat my alcoholism. I identify in myself the phenomenon of craving. For sure it gets activated when I take one and sets up an irresistible urge for another and another.
And I can see note that craving operates on a pre-conscious level in me. When I was active, I could not resist starting up each day. In large part, it was because for years my BAC was not often .000, I was always processing out what I had drunk the previous night.
I didn’t want to drink, I often drank against my will and against my better judgement.
To stop and get dry, the question for me wasn’t “Why does Dan drink?”, it was “How do I stop?”. Enforced sobriety by the courts and participation in AA, along with Antabuse were what finally turned the trick for me.
Blessings on your house 
,
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We have a physical dependency coupled with a mental obsession. It’s hard for those who aren’t afflicted with the disease to understand. At sometime in our lives alcohol or drugs did something for us. But that changes, we become the slave. After 32 years, 10 months and one day I am not cured. I’ve recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body.
I have not seen anything but total abstinence and a whole lot of A A. I agree, see your doctor and tell them the truth. If you have to get onto Antabuse. Call your local AA service office and find a meeting or meetings close to you. We will be there for you, no embarrassments. We all started like you. Start a new journey and give yourself to a new way of life. It may suck at first but you’ll never have to drink or use again. If not you could be facing jail, incarceration or death. But if you seek a new way of life it will be beyond your wildest dreams. That my friend is a promise!
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