I agree with your partner…to a limit. Yes, he is not giving up drinking, you are. It would be unfair for you to expect him not to drink because of you. But it sounds like that is not what you are asking of him. You are just telling him you are not ready to be around people who are drinking…especially if they are getting sloshed.
I think you need to be gentle and honest and say that you can’t be around that. There really is nothing wrong with doing activities apart. There is nothing that says people in a relationship need to do everything together. Let him go out and get drunk with his buddies. And I HOPE he respects that and when you DO do activities together that he keeps the drinking to a minimum.
My husband still drinks. We’re older now so we aren’t doing major weekend celebrations anymore but when we go out for dinner he does order beers. At home he mostly keeps the drinking to another room…sometimes he has wine with dinner if it has been a particularly bad day for him. I think he is actively trying to not drink as much around me. But maybe he was only drinking as much as he was because I was drinking a lot myself??? Who knows.
Thanks for the advice Im not in any means asking him to stop I agree with you. From now Im not going to respond in anyway about drink. I know this for me is the bedt descision that I have made & im thinking positive about my future doing this for myself.
So earlier I get from husband " do you want some beers from shop" my reply no thank you !!! wine then ??? 'No thank you " proud for most importantly saying no & for not shouting my response
My hubby would offer me glasses of wine for quite a while…just to make sure I really meant it when I said I didn’t want any. But then he eventually realised that I did mean it and stopped asking.
Annoying then asked again half hour later before getting his to which I replied " no thank you " this time last week i was on my way to becoming a drunken mess ohhh the shame everytime a drink is mentioned i will remember the mess that came after !!!
Advice yet again ive got a special event coming up my partner is asking me will i be drinking ive replied no . Says I wont be any fun explained I can still have fun without drink asking me to drink in moderation. Ive explained how i feel and no matter if i drink in moderation it makes me depressed and anxiety worse to which I got the reply "well im drinking i like it " explained that he doesnt need to stop but for my health I am on here to talk and help me through thanks
Last summer we took a trip to UK. My hubby wanted to do a tour of a scotch distillery (he loves his scotch). I told him that he would be the only one sampling since I was not drinking and the kids were too young. He just looked at me like I was the most selfish bitch because I wouldn’t try scotches at a distillery tour!! (in the end, I relapsed on that trip…at the freakin’ airport no less…and I did end up tasting…but that is beside the point!!)
Don’t know if this counts for anything. But we are happy for you. And if you are happy for yourself that’s all that matters. I know I had fucked about for so long and burned so many bridges that no one really cared if I was sober or not, because I was gone from everyone’s life. Once I was able to do it for myself, rather than getting sober for other people, it made my journey a lot easier.
And in the words of @Ray_M_C_Laren “Maybe try a meeting. Wish you well!”
Actions speak louder than words- as cliche as that sounds. For about 3 months after I got sober my husband would ask every weekend if I wanted a bottle of wine, probably because my track record showed that every time I tried to get sober I caved. Some of my friends called me boring, most asked “when” I would be drinking again. After about month 6, everyone stopped asking, and actually several of my friends either quit drinking or told me they wish they could. Everyone around me knows now that I don’t drink, and it’s just become part of who I am. It just takes time!! Show them how serious you are by walking the walk
My mom says drinking is our families hobby. That recovery programs and recovered addicts are ‘addicted to the lifestyle of being sober’ and are extremists ‘like the vegans’
And it’s so hurtful because im trying to get sober
This time last wk I made a promise to myself after being sick for literally 12hrs from the night before (full binge drinking) that my life was to change for the better !!! Tonight im reading a new book & having a relaxing evening !!! Cant wait !!!
I was that “heard it all before” person with my ex. I couldn’t handle the many time he has disappointed me. But i never meant to be unsupportive if that makes sense. I was protecting myself from disappointment (it was probably a self fulfilling emotion I had actually). I understand addiction now a lot better. I wish I could have been more supportive but I know I did the best I knew how to do at the time. I tried.
