Why cant people be happy for you

Being patient sucks! Hang in there. I’m so new to this sober and recovery life. I’m 36 and I’m starting all over. It doesn’t even seem like it. It’s just what it is starting over I just started over differently this time i went to recovery and know almost at the big 90 they call it :slight_smile: I’m so much happier in my life. Im not meaning to boast, it’s just every time i think about were I’ve been compared to were I was it literally is a miracle. Thank you everyone here for letting me stretch lol

The first thing you need to ask yourself is “how long have I been in my addiction?“ If it has only been a week, a month, or even a year, you probably haven’t made the promise to stop drinking enough times for people to not believe you. So I’m going to predict that you have been drinking for at least 3 years, probably more (if I’m wrong I apologize and will remove this post). The point is, you didn’t lose his/her/their trust overnight. It took years. So how can you expect to gain in back in a few days?? So they don’t have to believe you. But at the same time, if they truly love you, they should at least give you the chance to prove yourself without making empty promises. But what I disagree with is when you said that you don’t expect him to stop drinking. If this is just one of your “buddies” then no I wouldn’t expect that either. But if this is a partner then why wouldn’t you expect that? If you had lung cancer wouldn’t you expect your partner to stop smoking around you? Why is the disease of addiction any less life threatening? People die from it every day. And then to tell you that you are no fun when you don’t drink? I think you have a lot more to figure out than just dealing with your addiction.

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Yes ive been a binge drinker for more years than I recall more or less every wkend I understand actions do speak louder than words. I know with the correct support I can do this !! Thanks all ur advice and supportive words are really helping ! Reached 7days today !!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!! The first week is the hardest. You are so right when you said that with the correct support you can do this. So just 2 things to remember: The therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel. And be your own biggest fan. What that means is to reach out to others that are in recovery for support until your loved ones see that this is not the same old song and dance. And to love yourself as much as you deserve. Positive daily affirmations to remind yourself what an amazing person you are and that you are not going to drink today.

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Any tips on dealing with the hungover partner ??? Ha ha nearly completed a full wkend sober

Yeah. Let them deal with it lol. They made their bed, they can sleep in it.

Do the things you wanted to do today.

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What I want to know is how come when my wife drinks, I wake up with the bloody hangover!!! My head is banging this morning :rofl::rofl::sunglasses:

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I heard recently that when we were drinking/using we made choices on our relationships with “where we were right then” in our life." I know I did. When I got sober I started to notice alot of flaws in my husband that before I just didn’t notice that much. But love is patient. Love is kind. One day at a time. Ive learned to ask my mate what I need from him, or to simply tell him when something he does bothers me. My communication has improved vastly sober. But if he was trying to get me to drink or judging me for something I did in the past constantly (like I’m seeing in some of these posts) I couldn’t AND wouldn’t deal with that shit long.

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So what you’re saying is that your husband needs to forgive everything you’ve done while drinking because you got a little sober time? We subjected our loved ones to decades of hell. We owe them amends. Even if our delicate little egos are wounded.

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Decades of hell? How long do you know I drank? How long do you think I have even known my spouse? How do you know my spouse isn’t a heavy drinker himself? You don’t. So leave me alone. I wish there was a way I could block you. I don’t appreciate you stalking me on here.

I deal with it by getting up at a decent time on saturday or sunday morning and doing something kickass - gym, go to a cool flea market, get a coffee somewhere nice.

Not only a good reminder of why I am sober but my partner is always annoyed they were too hubgover to join in and encourages them to drink a little less next weekend

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I always feel so cheated when this happens! :joy::joy::joy:

I mean, I know love means sharing but there is a line!!:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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