I don’t understand AA. I’ve tried to use it for help but I feel like everyone has one experience and perhaps I have a different. The people who give their numbers either don’t answer or after the first conversation don’t answer again. It’s not as if the numbers you receive are people you can call when you’re on the brink of taking a drink so I don’t understand the program. Furthermore, it feels impossible to get a consistent sponsor. It just feels like it’s great while in the meeting but once you need help none of the people behind the numbers actually intend on helping, I don’t get it at all.
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I have had the total opposite experience. I’ve always been able to reach multiple people when I needed support. And most would call me back the next day to check on me. I found they are all very caring people that know exactly how I feel after having gone through it themselves. Because they were all there for me in my early days, I now do the same for newcomers and make sure to answer my phone. I stand by the AA pledge.
“I am Responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there. And for that: I am responsible.”
Maybe you can try other meetings. Or try a different program such as dharma recovery or SMART. AA is not for everyone.
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Not gonna lie, I had both your experience and Lisa’s. Real mixed bag!
AA’s just made up of people, like any other place. Some will answer straight away. Some may be busy and call back later (or not realize who’s calling!). Others may be a complete miss.
I’m down with the pledge like Lisa, others are going about their own lives. We’re all learning and growing together.
Keep on seeking though and you shall find. There’s plenty eager to help!
I might also suggest, sometimes I just call folks to ask about their day. Sometimes just talking to another helps to keep me grounded.
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NA is the same. I remember calling a woman who gave me her number bc I wanted to relapse. She said that she was at the beach & couldn’t talk. I’m not joking. I hate 12 step programs.
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That’s a real shame to hear, as above they are made of other people. Some are great and some are not. I wouldn’t avoid them completely but appreciate the poor experience has tempered your view.
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Just to add generally but WhatsApp groups are very much in within GA(UK) and it’s great to reach allot of people quickly to reduce the chance of not getting a response
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Maybe try another meeting dont base AA on one bad experience, maybe try get a sponsor who you can phone for help when needed
I hate 12 step programs. lady said based on a phone call ? dont know what the 12 steps has to do with phone calls .ive been in AA along long time and im not a fan off people who mouth off about something they havnt a clue about , but as im a nice guy i wish you well
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The first thing I learned in AA, don’t look for the differences look for the similarities. As my sponsor told me, “ If you really wanted to use, you sure in the hell wouldn’t be making a phone call! Second thing he told me was if I wanted to drink he’d go buy me the drinks. As he pressed the spiritual aspect on me…. He relayed there’s no humanely power that can stop you from drinking. Just my communication with my higher power as I understand him. That’s what I understand of AA.
Sure I can call my Sponsor for advice and Prudence, but what the hell is he going to say to stop me from drinking? The Big Book is a blueprint on all the characteristics of an alcoholic; what I need to do stop being an alcoholic, what I need to do help an alcoholic and what I need to do to live an happy life. Which ultimately for me rest with my acceptance, spirituality, love for my fellow human, humbleness and letting go of the past. I accomplish that daily with prayer/meditation, attending meetings, talking to another alcoholics and prayer/meditation.
Back to what you said, my first priority is my own sobriety. If you are truly working the steps, the first step is admitting your powerlessness… that’s just not alcohol to me, that’s everything in my life. I give it all to my higher power to do his Will and not my own.
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I have experienced both sides of the coin for sure. On one hand i have recieved numbers, only to call when i needed help and no one would answer or brush me off. It can be very devastating for sure, especially when asking for help (for the majority of us) can be very difficult to do already. Same thing happened for some of the sponsors i had. They just didnt have the time. Im not sure if they all just felt obligated to give our their number/sponsor, but it was quite obvious that they werent in a position to follow thru.
But… like i said on thr other side of the coin, i have also experienced some great sponsors and people to call. It took time tho to find a sponsor that was a good fit for me and what i needed (i went thru 5 or 6 before finding the right one). There are people out there that can and do follow thru. Its important to not generalize the entire group just bcuz of some “bad apples” so to speak. And once i found the woman that was a good fit for me sponsor-wise, i learned sooooo much about the Big Book and about recovery and about practicing the principles in all of my affairs. It truly made the world of difference and was well worth the time and effort to find such a good fit for me sponsor-wise.
If ur wanting a sponsor or people to chat to, keep searching. There will be a time when the right person comes along.
When it comes to finding a sponsor, i first listen in the rooms to others speak, to see how they live their lives in recovery and if generally what they say is recovery focused. If they are up for sponsoring, i do ask them some general questions about their availability and how much time they are willing to dedicate to taking me thru the steps. Bcuz life in recovery can get very busy, I just wanted to make sure that we were on the same page. Same goes for phone calls. Some people dont prefer being called late at night, and some do. So having a variety of numbers is always important bcuz someone eventually will answer. I guess what im saying is that if sponsorship is something u want, keep at it. The right person WILL come along 
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In the past I’ve fielded phone calls in the middle of the night from people off their face wasted. Doesn’t stop me from answering the phone still
I’ve also called through an entire phone list without receiving a single answer. Didn’t stop me from going back to AA.
I’m really happy I didn’t quit after a couple of “bad” experiences or I would have missed out on the last 5.5 years of amazing life changing sobriety
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I hate 12 step programs for many different reasons, not because I had a bad experience with a sponsor from an NA meeting. I have 3 years & 7 months of recovery & I do online NA meetings daily simply because hearing other addicts talk about their recovery can be inspiring & they are the most common. I’m actually really surprised you took my comment personally, lol.
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I honestly didn’t mean to make anyone upset. I do NA meetings. I just don’t do the 12 steps & I don’t pay attention to anything they read. I’m only there to listen to other addicts talk about their recovery. That’s it. I meant no harm. Maybe I should have used the word dislike? Strongly dislike? Sorry for disrespecting something that has saved lives. I’m glad it exists bc it does save lives. It’s just not for everyone. Wasn’t trying to personally attack anyone. Sorry.
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Its not. There is no one size fits all or magic pill for recovery. We must do the work on ourselves, no one else can save us but ourselves, thats the only universal truth in recovery, I believe. Way to go on your sober time, I’m proud of you 
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the older I get the more I appreciate this.
For me I have to attend a meeting weekly and put effort in via forums and whatsapp groups etc but I also appreciate for others this won’t be the case.
Though I still get frustrated by those that make excuses for not putting effort in but again this will come with time.
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I work with a dude with 10 plus years sober. No meetings no forums. Just his will power. Hes a good friend. I would never call him a sponsor. But if I needed to call someone he would answer and we could talk about whatever was bothering me. Good guy. Anyway we exist. Also I want to add 20+ yrs ago I quit meth and coke cold turkey by cutting off bad influences. We do recover, and we dont always need a program. Wish you well.
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The first time I called a few numbers no one answered. Then I realized duh they don’t have my number yet! So now I always text people first or text them as soon as I get their number. Now I’ve been texting back and forth with a few folks and it helps a lot. For meetings, although they follow similar formats, they are all so different! So if you find one and think “meh” maybe try a few others.
Im very early in my recovery journey and new to AA so I can’t speak knowledgeably. I agree one program will not work for everyone but I think it’s worth trying out different things (really giving things a chance) and seeing what sticks. I am not strong enough to recover alone, but I alone am responsible for my sobriety.
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I accept your apology thought Hate was a bit over the top , i wish you well on your journey as i always say what ever keeps you sober then thats fine wish you well
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