I love you so much!! To be honest this app has helped so much it’s listening to people like you and others taking things they say using what helps me and working it my way. We’ve all got the same goal in common and have to be cheerleaders for one another. I admire your dedication to your program so much 
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I think this is a terrible response to the question.
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Again with mental strength?
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Im on day 3 and screwed up. Im better than that.
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I agree with you… we just all want the same result and thats to be alive and clean. Im your biggest cheerleader… if it wasn’t for your help and support getting me through them bad i dont know what id done x
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And I am yours!!
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I desire that.
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I am 68 days sober after 3 years of constant relapses. I have no clear opinion right now. But the greatest change in my life lately had been more connection and not only with fellow addicts
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Four years, eight months and fifteen days sober. No program. No therapy. No other addictions still in play. Lots of self analysis. Lots of discipline. Lots of changes in my lifestyle, in my habits, in my habitats, in my definitions (as in what does it mean to relax?, etc.), and lots of changes in my thought process in general.
But for me the main reason I’m sober, is because I decided I was DONE, once and for all. It wasn’t until I made that decision, that I got sober. Me and alcohol are done forever. The romance is over and that motherfucker is dead to me. No half way. No “let’s see if I can do it” for a month or a year or two years and then try again. Nope. I can’t drink. I know it. And I know if I have one, I’m done. If I cross that line, down the rabbit hole I go.
I’ve worked on myself and continue to work on myself --with books (I’m a big reader), with this site, with lots of internet searches, with talking to friends and others who struggle with or have struggled in the past with addiction. And I’ve spent a great deal of time learning how to deal with my biggest and most scathing critic, ME.
Am I infallible? Absolutely not. Do I think everyone has to do what I did? Absolutely not. But this is how I’ve done it so far. And so far, so good. My life is much better now than it was when I was drinking.
What I like about this site, is hearing from people who are also dealing with their addictions and learning from everyone–learning how different people respond to different approaches. I learn from you all on this site every day. I learn from your honesty and your personal stories.
But what I like least about this site, is the arguing about how to do it-- “my way or the high way”. If a program saved your life, then I love it and I’m really, sincerely grateful for it. But that’s not how I’ve done it.
Can’t we be grateful for each other and to learn from each other without insisting we all do it the same way? Can’t we address each other without insults (no, I don’t think I’m a special snowflake), without ganging up, without piling on when we think someone answered “wrong” and without dire predictions of failure because someone didn’t do what you did?
I drank because I loved lighting out for the territories. I liked taking a break from a stressful job and stressful life and floating out in the ethers for a while. And I liked the drama that it caused. My alcohol abuse made my everyday life more interesting. Or I thought it did. I stopped drinking because I finally realized it wasn’t fucking fun anymore and I was embarrassing myself, putting myself in dangerous situations and I was hating myself. And because I realized that the reasons I started drinking, were not being met anymore.
It took a lot of courage, introspection, hard work, and faith to change my life. That’s my program so far.
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Does anybody know any site to have free online counseling? I’ve decided that I definitely need help (I just can’t do it alone. I need someone who can guide me and strengthen me and really give me a rope to hang on to) and I’ve searched the web and haven’t found the free ones, any suggestion?
P. S : A good friend that really understand me and my addiction is actually enough, but, I haven’t tell my addiction to any of my close friends due to ‘cultural’ reasons. If anybody willing to be my friend that I can talk to, please message me. I really need it.
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try intherooms.com
It’s not necessarily counseling, but they have online meetings and probably have some related to your DOC.
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Why do we relapse you say because addicts are not immortal once we recover…
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Speak for yourself. I, for one, am the Highlander. There can only be one
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I was listening to a podcast during my lunchtime walk and I heard something absolutely mind-blowing. I literally stopped in my tracks and quietly said outloud "yes!!’.
The man being interviewed as 22 years sober so I’ll take his thoughts on this as “fact”. Just sayin’.
He said that if you haven’t truely accepted step 1 then you WILL relapse.
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Now you don’t need to go to AA and work the steps to prevent relapse…but you need to incorporate the ideas of step 1.
And we need to remind ourselves of this every day. Alcoholism has a very short memory. As soon as we start to feel a little better we forget how awful we felt when drinking. But the thing is, we will ALWAYS be powerless to alcohol and our lives will ALWAYS be unmanageable unless we continue with our sobriety. I know it true for me.
So, just my 2 cents worth for June 18, 2019. 
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Yep. Reality checks are where it’s at.
Totally agree with this.
I might not work the steps but I’ve taken on board the whole AA ethos!
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Absolutely, I don’t work the steps but I am in absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I am powerless over alcohol and always will be. Until I really accepted it this time I would always relapse
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Probably because Im a drunk!
I can’t say for sure. I tried to quit on my own, and relapsed every few weeks til I had the realization, that:
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I was not alone. Others felt EXACTLY as I did. Had seen the same things, felt the same feelings, had similar experiences.
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I would never have what I truly wanted until I stopped.
At that moment, I was done, and I’ve never wanted to pick up again.
What I realize now, 30 years later, is I simply changed addictions. Substances gave way to behaviors. These behaviors fed my shame and insecurities, and kept me from the truth - which is I have serious mental and emotional issues, much larger than I suspected. And now I am trying to combat them.
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