I grew up with it was ok to have a wine cooler at 17 with my parents, or a sip of the foam off my dads beer in his mug while we were gardening when i was in elementary school. I wasnt around alcoholics when young. So, when my mom died when i was 18, I turned to my siblings and the one closest to me handed me the bottle. I drank for years and finally, just … stopped. I didnt drink for years. Then started again. When i got to downing a fifth a day, i realized it wasnt normal. So, i quit. Then for years i didnt drink again. In those years of not drinking, I met my husband and had a son. When my son was about 2 years old i started drinking again. Started small and it grew over the next couple years until I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. I quit that day. I found the cravings a bit difficult at first, but ultimately, I over came because I had her inside me. I dont agree with drinking while pregnant even though I had acquaintances who would drink wine while pregnant. Anyway, I was drink free for close to two years at that point- pregnancy and breast feeding. Then I had a drink here and there. I limited myself. No more than 3 days a week would I drink. Then it was four days. Then it eventually continued until my daughter turned about 3 and I would drink every night. Last year, I quit for about 3 days, then the little voice would creep in. Its ok. You’ve abstained 3 days, you can have a drink. I would give in and find that the day after I had to drink again. And, so, it began again. Every night, another drink, another defeat. I listened to audio books and abstaining videos and I decided I had the tools to try again. I believe I hit day 3, pulled into the party store lot, parked… Sat… Then put my car in reverse just to go home and be met with a blender of mixed thoughts and voices in my head. The very next day I gave in and I’ve been drinking evey day since until last week. I have 6 days under my belt. I have had the cravings that I push away, but today they are telling me once a week is ok. Go ahead it wont hurt. You can abstain again after. BUT, I know the TRUTH! I know if I quit again, I dont know if I’ll ever be successful again… If I ever truly was successful in the first place. Why can’t we have a relationship with alcohol where we dont need to keep drinking after one or two drinks? Why does the creeping little voice of addiction have to sound so believable? Maybe, in a few more days the voice will be quieter. Sorry if you read this long boring post. If you have any advice or whatnot, feel free to reply. Have a happy thursday night everyone!
What you posted is not boring it’s very relatable to me and I’m sure a lot of people in the community. There is many people that have been able to stop for certain reasons but eventually went back to drinking because they felt like they could drink like everybody else Or they deserve to celebrate their accomplishment by drinking. In the book of Alcoholics Anonymous it talks about how we have an allergy to alcohol and once we start drinking we lose the ability to control are drinking and we can’t stop and we want more. It’s the obsession of the mind. Once we pick up a drink that obsession starts and we drink to oblivion or to escape. I know speaking for myself in the past when I would get a little bit of dry time I didn’t really work at the root causes of my drinking. Didn’t really learn who I am. What has helped me is being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and going to meetings on a regular basis. Working with a sponsor that takes me through the steps which helps me deal with my past, deal with resentments or problems, make amends, learn about character defects that turn into shortcomings, and learn how to live in this world sober and feel content. In the book it also talks about That restless irritable and discontent feeling until we can drink and feel the opposite of that. It takes time to learn how to feel OK or be OK with our feelings without alcohol. Maybe you can give AA a try. There is also some other programs out there but I think getting involved would really help. And I definitely understand what you’re saying you might have another relapse in you But it’s not guaranteed you’re gonna make it back to recover. I know lots of people that said they can go out for a drink or start drinking again and they’ll get sober eventually and eventually never came. I want to say thanks for reaching out and sharing some of your story. I definitely relate. And I’m sure there’s lots of people that relate. Welcome to the community. Read around and continue to interact. All you have to do is get through 24 hours sober and repeat tomorrow.
Ps: Also at the very end of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous there is many Personal stories of people that have recovered that have very similar stories to yours. It’s possible to have long-term sobriety and to be happy in this world And not have to go back to drinking. In Alcoholics Anonymous it doesn’t matter your background or where you’re from, or where you’ve been or how good or bad it was… The common thing is that we can’t successfully drink And there is negative consequences and we stay sober by working together and not forgetting about the reality of our drinking
I can definitely relate to taking breaks from drinking and feeling as if I had it under control only to spiral and be sick all of the time and immediately filled with intense regret. Something I’m doing this time that I’ve never done before is changing my mindset when it comes to “rewarding” myself for staying sober. When the “you can drink again it’s been however many days sober” voice creeps in I’ve been telling myself that if I drink I won’t be able to feel my best for work, or I’ll be letting my sober self down tremendously. I’ve been constantly reminding myself of how rewarding and amazing it is to be sober and it’s really helping combat those thoughts. I often felt I was missing out if I didn’t drink when it reality I’m gaining so much through mental clarity, physical fitness, better sleep quality, and the list goes on!! Congratulations on your 6 days and I’m praying for your continued sober success!! 
Welcome and congrats on 6 days! Thanks so much for sharing, you will find a lot of support on here.
No matter how quickly or slowly it happens, it eventually leads to the same misery. The good news is this can be the last time.
Ive got 38 days today thanks to God and working a program with a sponsor. It also helps me in moments of craving, after work, on weekends, when im arguing with myself about drinking or not, to trick myself with one day at a time. “Im NOT going to drink today, but maybe tomorrow.” Or even “if i dont drink today i can drink tomorrow.” Just every day, of course.
Ive also been spending “booze” money on other random stuff to do at home like kids craft kits, puzzles, books whatever so i have something to do when i get home besides drink.
Best of luck and keep us updated! We are rooting for you and you CAN DO IT! 🩷
Welcome to the community 
and congrats on 6 days! So happy you’ve found us 
I can relate to so much of your story. Altho I never took a really significant break from drinking for over 20 years(nothing longer than pregnancy), it only got harder to take any breaks the older I got. Even when I knew I felt good bc I wasn’t drinking, something always told me I’d feel even better if I had a drink. Never did. By the end, it was a miracle if I made it 24 hours without a drink (and that was usually bc I was too sick).
Finding this place changed everything 
It taught me the difference between sobriety and recovery. Abstaining does nothing to help the disease. Sure, you’re sober, but undoubtedly white knuckling. Recovery takes work and needs a plan. I suggest researching as many options as you can bc not everything works for everyone. I tried anything and everything until something finally worked for me.
When I first joined this community, AA was all over the place. It’s not the same anymore as there seems to be some controversy surrounding it now. Well, idk why 
I back everything @bluekoolaid_88 says about it bc I took that suggestion and it changed my life. I wouldn’t be able to function the way I do now if it weren’t for what I learned in AA. It taught me how to live. Which is something I never learned bc alcohol was always the answer to everything. It does take continuous effort to get and stay on the other side, but it’s worth every second when the promises come true 
I wish you all the best on this journey 
Welcome 
Already good advice given. I can relate with your story too.
I drank socially and normal, with long times without alcohol and zero desire. Until I once realized that I started to use alcohol in the way drug use is described on spot: To shortcut alter my state of mind, as an unhealthy coping strategy. It took some time to dig behind this abuse patterns and I worked on the issues since then. Helped tremendously.
Keep sober and keep us posted on your recovery, you are not alone 
For me Meetings made it easier i got this first time ,i was willing to do anything to stop drinking had the desire and made the effort and it worked up to now so far wish you well