Why does my life improve when I relapse?

I know it sounds counterintuitive, but when I relapse (pornography & masturbation), things just work out better for me. Business seems to grow, my stocks rise, the kids are happier (maybe partially because of my attitude)… I could go on. It seems like that is honestly how things go. Maybe it’s the old devil trying to make my addiction more appealing, I don’t know. It ain’t right! It shouldn’t be that way! Well, what I do know is that no matter how good things get or how “not good” things are, I’d rather be sober.

What about you? Have any of you had this experience?

It’s a lie, you tell yourself, to justify your relapse. It’s a canard. You bled off some pressures in an unhealthy way. You feel relieved for a while, but stand-by…the guilt and regrets will soon follow. Regardless of the DOC, the cycle will continue to trap you, until you get to the point where you start to lose things, important things, and you can’t stop.

That is the addicted brain. That is why addicted lab rats if given a choice between drugs or food, they end up starving to death.

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I agree with you. I don’t think that good things are a direct result of my relapses. I don’t think they even coincide. My brain probably is just making odd connections. Thanks for your insight. I really appreciate it!

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It’s the instant gratification. It’s the credit card mentality, swipe now and get the quick happiness, worry about the bill later. That’s called a delayed discount. A savings account mentality is needed for sobriety, keep putting in on yourself and building your worth and tool kit that way when you have something to fall on when times get tough/frustrating.

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That’s a great way to put it.

Very interesting I like what you said.

Perfect way to approach it. Love it!!