So I haven’t had the easiest week. Was sick at the start and my baby girl is teething badly. I’m lacking in the sleep department and today I was all over the place. I start flirting with the idea that maybe i can have a drink on my holidays in May! Wtf! Why does my brain/addiction try to make me think i can. I have seen so many people here with their long term sobriety and happiness and i just want that content feeling that i know i will never drink again. This week was a bad week so tomorrow is a new one so i hope its better mentally. Any tips for when the intrusive thoughts creep in would be appreciated. Hope everyone had a nice weekend also😊
Amazing work on your journey so far, you are doing fantastically
The intrusive thoughts get easier, to the point of end up telling your head to get lost. Remember our heads want to slowly ruin our lives by default. Our own heads put us right in the shit in the first place, so it’s not going to give up trying to put us there. Meditation and journalling are amazing tools. They help us get that right mindset absolutely spot on.
Keep busy, ignore that head, do the opposite. A drink on holiday won’t just be one drink. It’ll be ruining the holiday and coming home full of guilt, misery and regret, fuck it button fully pushed and it’ll be back to square one.
I went to Majorca 3 months into my sobriety thinking exactly how you are and if I hadn’t been alone with my daughter I might have given in. I wish I had gone with the correct mindset to fully enjoy just being on holiday. I made it hard for myself. The next time I went on holiday I’d built up all the good shit in the memory bank and loved it.
Just because we’re on holiday doesn’t mean we have to have a drink to enjoy it. Holidays are far better sober, get out, explore the foreign land, soak in the culture, and come back with memories that will last a life time. Travelling in sobriety is so so special, good luck, I’m proud of you
Thank you so much for your reply. Everything you said is spot on and just what i needed to hear before bed. Im also going with my 2 daughter’s and what to give them the best experience and if i drink i know it will spoil it. I needed to hear this advice to set my mind straight so thank you😊
Hey there! I’ve had a very stressful weekend. I was able to jump on a zoom with my TLC community and that helped tremendously. Keep going. It gets easier and these rough times will pass.
There is the part of it that is our addictive minds and that bad old habits of anykind die hard really. I found a good way to help this is the mentality that alcohol and drugs are not our friends and only make everything crappier no matter what the situation is.
That AV is so cunning, it wants to keep us in hell at any cost, i tell mine to f**k off, enjoy your holiday with your children sober rather than that guilt and shame you will have if you picked up.
I have 1 year and almost 1 month AF, and I know what you mean and feel. And to be honest I dont have the feeling all the time that I will never drink again. But thats what I want, never drink again, but I take one day at the time, I will not drink today.
Hi there, we actually have the same sober date so that resonated with me and also what you have written about a daydream to have a drink on holiday, when actually what you want is peace from the addiction. I’m heading to Spain for a few days in March and have romanticized the idea of having a glass of wine…watching the world go by while seeing a sunset.
I know the reality would be not just having one, but a bottle and then more until I passed out. I’d feel so emotionally and physically wrecked the next day I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the rest of my short time off. Days that are hard earned. Instead I’d be filled with regret, self pity, sadness, nausea and self flagellation at the waste…
I’m already playing the situation forward because I’ve been here many times, getting sober and relapsing. Now I’m finally in a place to have the toolkit and support to keep on walking the sober path one day at a time.
Keep strong and squeeze all that joy out of being on holiday!! Think of how incredible
you will feel being present and also coming
home still sober. A massive achievement! We can both do it
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to reply. Its all brilliant advice and great stuff to wake up to and read. I have taken it all on board and the holidays is awhile away so im goinh to work my ass off and have all the tools i need and a strong mindset not to pick up!
I totally agree with everything @nick_1985 said in his post.
Alcoholism is the only disease that tries dam hard to convince you that you haven’t got it and a drink will be OK. I’ve been sober a while and all I can say is I’ve never had the feeling that I’ll never drink again, the thought of having a drink just doesn’t enter my head and I’ve got to a stage where I walk down the booze aisle in ASDA’s and it’s as if the shelves are empty and I’m happy with that.
The thing is as with any disease you’ve got to take your medication and-or do therapy to get well. For me taking and then working the steps on a daily basis is my medication and going to AA meetings is my therapy.
It’s an old AA saying ‘it works if you work it’, old but very true.
The disease is a threefold illness, mental, physical & spiritual, you’ve got to work at all three to get better.
I hope you can get over this lump in your sobriety road and have a fantastic & sober holiday in May.
You’re making excellent progress at 36 days sober, just keep it simple and remember it’s ODAAT.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. H.A.L.T. works for me when I get a sneaky craving out of nowhere. It usually means I am
It doesn’t help alleviate my situation but it is helpful when I feel like a craving came out of the blue.
I’m glad I could help a little. Our brains love fucking us over. Don’t let it your 2 daughters will absolutely adore the fact you’re fully attentive and present on holiday. You’ll make memories all 3 of you can look back on in years to come. And you’ll remember every detail.
I’ve got over two years soberiety but the intrusive voice still tries it’s luck, it’ll just pop out of nowhere and be like “HEY!! How about some wine!?”
The difference now is that I just laugh at it, like “no” and also “where the hell did that idea come from?”
But I guess it takes years to undo the years of drinking. It does get easier, but be prepared for it, don’t let it trick you, don’t bargain with it or give it any real-estate in your head, just shut it down.