So my husband is mad at me cuz our kids know he uses. They have seen him a few times and also last year he kicked me out and told me to leave so I actually did, he did everything possible to get me to come back and one of those things was he left his sack of dope out and my oldest son thought it was my youngest son’s so he threw it under his bed. My husband found it and told me he thought our youngest was on drugs cuz he found a sack of dope under his bed. Me never knowing went booking home, this is my baby boy and there was NO WAY I was gonna let him go down the same road we did!!! He was 15 at the time. I believed my husband. When I get there I could tell my husband is coming down. He said idk where this bag came from. So I go pick up both my boys and start looking at them seeing if their pale or sweaty or look high and they didn’t. So I got them drug tests asked me if they’re doing drugs and they say no. Asked em where the bag came from and they both say idk. One of my boys said look at dad he doesn’t seem right its probably him. We don’t do drugs mom. He looks high. Once the tests were done and they both cleared of everything I took them back to school and apologized to them for drug testing them but I did it cuz I cared. I couldn’t have them going down the same road me and my husband did. So they knew it was their dad they knew it was meth and they didn’t touch it. After taking them to school he admitted to me he knew it was his sack he just wanted me to come home. He had gotten a sack and got drunk then went to got high and passed out on the toilet before he could do a line. Wtf!! So not only had they seen use doing drugs he had left it laying around the house. My daughter caught us doing a line once and caught him smoking it with a friend. They all three know he does it. When I left their dad last year to get sober I told my boys I had been on drugs and I was going to get sober and that I would be back. I did that and came back. I still went to see them when I wasn’t working. I called them alot. I stayed away cuz their dad had snapped out. I left and he called me billions of times a day cussed me out when I did answer his calls and just made my life miserable. I told my kids I was on meth. I apologized for being a crazy person cuz once I told them they’re like ok that makes sense now!!! I am very honest with my kids in that aspect. My psychologist told me I should be honest with them. So he keeps telling my kids I’m a liar cuz he’s not on drugs. But they all know when he is cuz of his behavior. Normally he lays around and don’t do shit. He bitches about the house being dirty but does nothing about it, he lays in bed and sleeps a lot. Or gets drunk every night. When he is on it he locks himself in his room with the door shut, pretends he is asleep if they knock on the door and he is constantly on his phone. He will occasionally clean real good but usually only his room. I don’t see why it’s so hard for him to admit he is on drugs to the kids. I know he lies I can tell when he is telling fibs. He thinks Im a piece of shit cuz I am done lieing to my kids. He says weird shit to em and acts super weird. Is it bad that I don’t lie for him? To let them think he is not on drugs. They KNOW! They r 19, 17& 16. I am not going to lie to them anymore. I can keep hoping he will leave but he won’t. He has himself locked in his room, and I’m the enemy. I have been for a bit now. I’m fed up with this shit and yesterday he threatened me in front of my kids, came after me multiple times and my kids had to stand between us and keep him off of me. He can go anywhere in this house any time he wants but we’re not allowed in his room. I won’t be in my house unless my kids are here and I don’t have anywhere else to go and my kids won’t go to a shelter with me I know that. Just fed the fuck up at this point.
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That is super frustrating and I think a lot of people here would completely understand what you’re experiencing. Your story is addiction in action.
Best thing is to focus on what you can control: your choices and your progress. What other people say to trash talk you doesn’t matter. What matters is you working your healthy sober life, one day at a time. That is your power 
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