You’re right. I realized that creating new and sober friendships will take longer than I would like but it’ll be worth it. 
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I was 36 when I got sober, In the midst of the chaos. I moved two states over and went to rehab here. I knew no one, a few people that I met in rehab were the only people I had. My girlfriend at the time dipped out on me, and most of our friends were mutual I wasn’t drinking anymore so that meant If I came home the party ended
As I stayed in the area, a few of my rehab friends went back to old ways, the others kinda started having their own lives. I met some people in AA, and it was hit or miss, some were just taking advantage of me, cause I had a job and A car, others were cool but didn’t have much in common with, my first year was pretty fucking lonely, I made a few friendships here I couldn’t be more grateful for, and one that well. That wasn’t what I was expecting and leave that for a story for another day.
Like others said, it’s hard to make friendships in adulthood people have shit jobs, families adulting stuff and it sucks. Getting newly sober to me made me feel like I was 18 again, I didn’t know what I wanted to he when I grow up, still don’t.
I started focusing on my passions, music, motorcycles, cars, started getting into that group, I babysit the corvette owners club on occasion which is kinda cool, I got on groups for music and now I’m almost always too busy between my grown up job and music to do much of anything which is ok, choices I made I reconnected with my kids, and went to group outings, went places with a few coworkers who knew I was sober and respected that,
If you have children, try family outings somethings you can meet up with others and develop friendships that way. Meet the millers style
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It makes a lot of sense! You guys are right. As of right now I quit social media but the idea of reach out to let’s say fb groups for the same interests sounds good. Maybe I can join a sober group in my area 
I’m just trying to remind myself that this whole process will be slow but worth it. I am just very impatient and kinda used to instant gratification 
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I actually used meetup, they have a few good groups for interests and hobbies some cost a few bucks to join. No more than like 10 bucks a year but not too Bad. Everything from how to play bluegrass music to, become a real estate investor
I quit Facebook for a few years, I started a new one for exposure. But keep my friendship and personal life kinda out of it, it’s easier to have one night flings when they don’t know you, haha totally kidding.
But it mainly for promoting purposes
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I’ve heard of that one. I’ll keep it mind and maybe give it a try ( Just not for one night flings though)
I was referencing Facebook cause I don’t use my real name. I haven’t done that in years, but people in my everyday life that follow me, often are like oh that’s not your last name? No it’s not shit
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Haha that’s funny
I’ve lost all my old friends bc of sobriety but I go to meetings and have a bunch of new people I can talk to at any time. Different people different scenario better option. Saying that I’m more than happy with my own company which is something I could never do sober.
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Yeah same here, a lot of my friends and especially relatives have drinking problems so hanging out with them is less than ideal for me. I’ve started doing some volunteering here and there and I haven’t added AA meetings but I’ll probably do it in the future
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Generally because we no longer have the luxury of being trapped in a box anymore. Primarily we meet and make most of our friendships during our formative years of schooling. We’re all trapped in this big building seeing the same faces and seeing who shares the same interests as us. Its like a friendship buffet. I was alone and ostracized and still managed to form some relationships with people who found my peculiarities endearing. We leave the pond and enter the ocean and everything spreads out. People are also less approachable now a days. In high-school i used to go to bars and make nice with strangers. I couldn’t talk to the person sitting next to me now unless the game was on. On the flip side, social media sort of over saturates the market. So much people. So many niche groups. Almost always someone who shares you’re interests. On the flip side 98% of those people suck so we’re back at square one lol
Damn i was working my way towards a positive conclusion and fumbled the bag. I gave it my all.
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Hahahaha you just made me laugh! I was kinda wondering hahaha don’t get me wrong, it all makes so much sense and I think that’s one of the reasons I gave up social media or at least taking a break. It can be kinda toxic and the comparison game is awful. And I do think that now that we’re trying to live sober we’re trying to find meaningful relationships and that’s definitely hard to find.
But I am happy to have found this community, I have found people that are making my life so much easier and makes me feel that I’m not alone
I think you hit the nail on the head, like you said you build bonds in school cause well you are with these people all the time. Likewise I was ostracized in school I was different, I had long hair, I liked different music, I love Converse shoes, I was into motorcycles cars and playing guitar. I had a small group of friends but they were my people, I eventually tried to be a normie to please everyone else, I had interest in the fire department and police so I went that route, cut my hair short, stopped playing music and I was more welcomed, it felt good, but in the end I hated it don’t get me wrong I love what I did, but I hated feeling like I was acting In a role just to please everyone else and no be me.
Social media has its hiccups too, we lost the art of good ole in person conversation, like oh we can talk online no need to have a gathering, we forget what it’s like to live in the moment.
Back in 2017 I saw Rob Zombie in concert, before Thunderkiss 65 he walked through the crowd greeting people, high fiving things like that no pictures tho… he got back on stage and said, Yano I just spent the last 15 minutes greeting fans in the crowd. And more of you could have joined in on the moment, but you were too busy having your head stuffed into your phones, this is a concert, enjoy it put the phone away and live now
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This exactly is what I think! That’s one of the reasons why we have forgotten how to make friends in real life 
It’s true, it’s too easy to chat with someone on IG, or Facebook or Snap and be part of your day, I have some long distance friendships I never met we talk on the regular but the “distance barrier” does apply. So I can understand. But I know people here in the DMV that refuse to do anything but be on their phones and never socialize there’s so much out there and only infinite time, I wasted so much of it being too wasted to do anything live in the moment.
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It used to be so easy. Not now jobs and family. I have work “friends” but that’s about it. Everyone else kind of abandoned me. I’ll be your friend 
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I feel you! Working endless hours and drinking i lost all my friends. Im trying to rediscover things i like to do… the gym, gaming, hikes. I figure do what you like and people with similiar interest will eventually run into you!
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@Hisharleyquinn1318 aww that’s so sweet! Thank you! I’ll be more that happy to have you as my friend !
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@JEG you’re right! As of right now I’m trying to get addicted to exercise/ gym. Not really working but I’ll keep trying 
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