@Liz22. Sounds like you are on the right track ! Especially finding a meeting. My AA group has been priceless ! My Second family.
3 Likes
@Liz22 Realization is the first step of success and congratulations you are almost there, one day you will be very proud of this decision and also appreciate your efforts to discuss with your spouse and taking it to AA, best of luck for a very beautiful life ahead of you 
Thank you. Its 1 day now and I already feel better. Now Iāve got to work on it to continue my sober life. Wish me luck.
1 Like
Wish you all the luck with new beginnings 
Thank you. I 2 days sober and feeling pretty good. Working on day three today. Off to work I go.
1 Like
The science of addiction really helped me to understand myself and my behaviour when i first got sober.
From what iāve come to understand about addiction, a lot of people who struggle to manage drinking in moderation produce a far lower amount of dopeamine/seretonin in the brain than most. These are the feel good chemicals that are released when we drink or do drugs.
It is likely that the people you see who have a great ability to moderate their consumption of alcohol have a naturally higher baseline of dopeamine and seretonin. Therefore, when they have a few drinks, they arenāt feeling the effects of the alcohol as drastically as you or me. This means there is less incentive to reach for the next drink because their brain is more stimulated naturally, and thus less impulsive.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, for us genetics play a large part in our natural secretion of dopeamine and seretonin, which is why many families have a long history of drug and alcohol abuse issues. Obviously our upbringingand mental health play a huge part as well. But the core of the issues is that alcohol just simply gives us a far bigger high that those who can succesfully moderate.
2 Likes
I totally get it. Itās all or nothing for me. I tried for many years but quickly slipped back into my old ways. Know you arenāt alone in this and focus on each day staying alcohol-free. I always get left out in a way because other friends could do the weekend thing and I never could.
My latest struggle is even being around anyone who is heavily drinking. Makes me want to start up again - but I fight it daily and am winning. And you can too!
4 Likes
Thatās a very good insight, I have been searching about dopamine lately and found its profound implications on the way we see risk reward and it has a lot to do with kind of lifestyle we are in, my personal experience with dopamine have always lead me to live a meaningful sober life with occasional dopamine detox helping me a lot
Thanks @martinezvanburen 
Its always your kind of companionship and stories which motivates me through and for these hopeful and kind words I am always there fighting my own day to day battle and enjoying other possibilities of joy while doing it.
1 Like
I know I hate that people can go out like once a month get hammered and be done with it. I canāt even drink non alcoholic beer responsibly. I will down them in the same way, automatic reflex. When I was 5 yrs sober years ago I did the same thing with weight loss once, it got so addictive I starved myself to an unhealthy weight as a result my lungs collapsedā¦ now Iām 70 days sober, over weight but grateful I managed to eat healthy and loose 12 lbs safely during those 70 days. Unfortunately for me itās not just a substance thing. Iām an addictive person. The people you speak of donāt have a broken off switch like we do and it sucks. Sorry I ranted on your share but I felt that
2 Likes
I recommend the video below. The best informationāwhat will really answer your question on a physiological levelāis there, but I recommend the whole video.
Some people have psychological factors that drive them toward addiction. If you think this might be you, I recommend checking out Dr. Gabor Mateās work. There are videos you can watch online, just look up his name.
One other thing Iād like to mention is that there are people who can have a couple drinks and be fine, but they might have some other addictions you donāt know about. I can tell you what ācuredā my drinking problems was finding I liked drugs more and alcohol just got in the way.
1 Like
I tried to moderate for several years. It was not successful because alcohol is an addictive substance. Once we experience a certain level of use (perhaps unique to each of us), we become addicted and are not able to moderate.
Leaving alcohol behind has been a very liberating experience for me. Not only am I feeling better physically because Iām not poisoning myself on a daily basis, but I feel better emotionally because Iām not in a constant negotiation with myself about how to moderate.
It has not been easy to make this change, but it has been very worthwhile.
And as for the comments people make that we are not ānormalā, well, I donāt agree. We are people who have become addicted to an addictive substance. The people who donāt drink too much are just not yet at the level of physical or mental addiction. In time, and with enough use, they will get there too.
It is challenging to make the change, but over time it is a lot easier to live without alcohol than it is to try to manage the beast while using.
I wish you peace and I encourage you to learn all you can about the addiction and find a way to leave it behind.
4 Likes
Thereās plenty of joy out there. And youāll find it! I know I have - wish it was easy like for others but Iām always happy each day I make it clean. And look to enjoy the little things in life.
1 Like
If you google ā craving no longer a phenomenon ā and click the first link, it shows a page that might explain this for you. It explains how the alcoholics body doesnāt process the acetone in alcohol quick enough like a normal drinker which is what triggers a physical craving for more acetone. I know I needed to read that for it to really start to click in my brain. I spent about 11 years of trying to experiment with that idea of figuring out moderation for me and it was torture. also itās something normal drinkers donāt even think about, they can just do it. They donāt have the obsession of one day being able to moderate their drinking to fit their life or social situations, they just can do it with ease. I hope that helps. 
Link below
1 Like
That is fantastic. Some days I HATE that this is my realityā¦I just wish I was like everyone else and it isnāt fair. But just reminding myself that I canāt makes it easier. Itās not that I have a character flaw, I am just not made that way. I canāt fight my biology. I still hate it though. But hey, I also hate that Iām not 5ā10ā, skinny, with red curly hair and freckles. Itās just not my biology. 
2 Likes
I completely agree with your statement. Iām glad Iām not normal in the case with alcohol. Article below on whatās going on. Pandemic was rough, especially on women. Alcohol is poison. No one should consume it.
2 Likes
Im exactly the same, once i pop i cant stop,
Yet i can go days without, ive tried every angle to ācontrolā my drinking but its never works so its T total from now on for me. Glad i found this app and you guys stories. I thought it was just me that suffered like this, drinking is so normal to folks now days
2 Likes
Thanks a lot for this very useful content 
1 Like
Best words that made my day today, thanks a lot for being there for all of us, I am looking forward to make this change in my life and I wish the very best life for you too
1 Like
