Everyone has different reasons for using. My issue was I used them and I enjoyed it. Once I was hooked, I was hooked and I ended up using them just because I used them until I ended up hating them and realising that I wasnt getting anything done and my own pig-headedness to what other people were saying to me was going to end up getting me killed.
Eventually, with addictions whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, shopping etc… you just have to get to a point of where everything clicks into place and you realise that what you’re doing isnt working. For some people, they sadly dont get to that point or they do but reconsider. For some people, the hangover, the debt, the shame, the smell, the lies and the never ending cycle of depression is worth it for a few hours of falsely chemical induced euphoria and “it’s alright. I got a baggy in my pocket, I can get loaded later on and just forget all that shit for a few hours”.
When we our down to our last “fuck it”, we usually need someone to remind us (if not ourselves) that that last “fuck it” could very well be the one that ends it all but if you keep hold of that last “fuck it” and just work through it, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you wont feel the same tomorrow. If not, they’ll kick your ass.
Ain’t that right @Dasindog ?