Back on Day 2. I feel like I’ll never get this right. Not only did I drink again but I went off my diet too and now I feel completely undone. Not looking for sympathy… I’m just … here. Don’t know what else to do.
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You are gonna get back up, dust yourself off and start again.
The fact you are here shows you’re serious and want this. Everyone of us here has fallen. It’s those that keep getting up that is going to make it! 
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Julia, glad you are here. I can totally relate. I had so many restarts , every other day, in fact, for nearly a year before I finally got on my current track. Before that, over a period of several years, I periodically got in a few weeks at a stretch. Joining TS was a tool I didn’t have before. Being part of this community really helped.
Whatever it takes. You can do it. It’s not a personal failing. I think it’s about doing what works for you to stay sober. That means different things for different people. Look at the tools you are using and see what more you can add, remember we are all here to help each other. 
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This fail started with allowing myself to have a drink at a brewery… I told the friend I was with that I wasn’t drinking and they said it was just one. I allowed myself to be persuaded. My own fault. Just have to watch my association with people who drink. I’ve told this person before and im not drinking. But they don’t get it… not on the same journey as them. My own fault ….
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Yeah, I get it. Would have been nice if the friend would have respected your wishes in the first place. But as they say, hindsight is always 20/20…
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I’m going to make sure I check here on these threads daily … I haven’t been because I felt like I didn’t belong. But that’s my own perspective … have to change it 
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Seems like every time I’m around her they try and get me to drink. I don’t think they do it intentionally. It’s just their habit. But they are persistent at times. And over the last 10 days I’ve a had a few nights where I’m drinking alone. And I can pin it back to that Sunday where I gave in. Grrrr 
…. I gotta be smarter!! More strong in my ability to say no. My other half has done well and hasn’t drank at all. I’m proud of him. Not of myself though …
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You can do it!! You just have to say no to the first one - don’t worry about making it A BIG THING 
bc it’s just the one decision; then once you say no to that first one, it gets so much easier.
I have to remind myself when that little voice says “oh, but ooooooone glass of wine would be ok…” - one is too many, and 1,000 is never enough
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It’s just saying no. Maybe I should find a sponsor .
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Want to say that you DO belong and you CAN get back on your game. Glad to see you back.
In my own experience I had to cut some friends outright when they were making it more difficult for me to stay off the sauce, and I had to stay out of situations centered around drinking. I can handle going to a bar these days, although it’s never the case that I actually want to be there 
…but I do know in the early days, I wouldn’t have stood a chance in a place like a brewery etc.
I believe in ya, Button!
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Thank you. And thank you for making me feel welcome again… 
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Welcome back Julia, lovely to see you. Get back on this sober train.
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…what you mean by “didn’t belong” could mean a couple of things, but at any rate, you should feel welcome and comfortable here. Hope you visit often.
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I guess it’s more out of embarrassment. The feeling of not belonging because I failed again. Scared people will get sick of seeing start over agin. 
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This is fantastic advice that I will hold in case this ever happens to me.
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I’ve relapsed several times. Keep coming back!
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The “just one” trap is such a sneaky one. It feels so damn reasonable, especially when you see others able to do it. It is hard to accept you are different, that for you “one is too many, a thousand never enough”. But the peace when you do accept it is wonderful. Just not taking the first drink is easier that the mental wrestling and physical craving that comes after the first drink.
For sure either set super clear boundaries with your friend (and a boundary means “If you ask / encourage me to drink, I will immediately leave the premises”) or stop hanging with that friend.
And you belong here if you are trying to quit whatever it is that is causing you pain. We are all in recovery together, whoever we are 
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Ahh… I do understand that fear. But I have come to trust this forum as a safe place to seek help and to lend help , without judgement. Only kindness and understanding. Support and guidance.
Hugs to you!
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