Wine Mom and Stress

Hi all- I had originally joined around this time last year and found out in August that I was pregnant with twins. Perfect excuse to stop drinking! I had every intention to not drink after they were born but due to stress from life with a total of 5 kids now, going back to work, and moving to a new house-all within a 3 month time span, I picked up my nightly habit of a few glasses of wine again.
Well we know how that goes. A few glasses to relax and I can now easily drink a bottle and a half, and more recently I’ve gone to buying a box of wine and just drinking until I pass out. The box should last me a lot longer than a few days :neutral_face:
I don’t drink til the kids are in bed but once they are I feel like I’m guzzling wine just to relieve stress from the day. I’ve pretty much been doing it nightly for at least a month or so now. I don’t wake up hungover in the usual sense but I am exhausted and dehydrated all day, and largely unmotivated at work.
I don’t even know why I’m posting, just putting it out there into the universe I guess. I know I need to stop and relieve my stress other ways, but it’s so hard some nights!

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I also felt such relief when I found out I was pregnant - twice - because I knew I wouldn’t drink. And I didn’t. I then promised myself I wouldn’t drink after my kids were born - and within three months I was right back where I started. I transitioned to a ‘drink after the kids are asleep’ mom - and I so hated myself and how I felt every day. I totally understand the stress and isolation that comes with being a mother of little ones. But you know what? After finally admitting that I was an alcoholic and I needed help, I have found the stress of parenting to be so much less. Now I feel like I wake up with the energy to enjoy my children. There are still really frustrating days, but now at least I feel able to deal with them. My anxiety is better, my mood has improved, and I’m starting to feel like a decent parent again. There are many of us parents on here, and their support and understanding has been invaluable to me. I’m glad you are here. You can do this if you really want to!

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Jen, it sounds like you need to get yourself into the rooms of AA. You have 6 reasons at minimum to embrace a program of sobriety. Things will get easier for you and your family if you seek a higher power of your understanding. This is what finally helped me stop coming in and out of the rooms of AA. The revolving-door no longer spins for me. I attend meetings, acquired a sponsor, and am currently working a 12-step program. Things got bad enough for me that I had that Spiritual Awakening. Hopefully you do not have to go down that path of losing your wife / husband, children and home to get to that point in your life. You are a strong lady. I know this because you have five children and have reached out in this forum for help. Also suggest picking up the AA big book and reading the first 164 pages. It is a guide to live a life well-lived clean and sober. Have the courage to put the wine bottle down and listened intently for the sound of a pop. That will be the noise it makes when your head pops out of your ass and you start living for yourself in your children.

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God bless, stay safe and above all be kind to yourself.

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Sobriety is a lot like Pringles. Once you pop you can’t stop.

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I apologize to this form for being so insensitive. You are correct I will watch how I approach things from this point on. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Please let me explain. I accidentally hit reply before I was finished. I apologize if I sounded harsh but I have lost a wife and a child  to alcohol / drug overdoses. Maybe if I would have been more helpful and direct with them they would still be here today. I have to live with the guilt that I have for for not taking the disease of addiction more seriously. If I had maybe they would still be here today. Nowadays I work with other alcoholic/addicts in hopes that sobriety might take hold in their life. I try not to sugar coat anything. Addiction is a deadly disease. Jen has five children counting on her. I pray that God touches her heart mind and soul and release her of her obsession to drink so she can be there for her family.

We understand, a lot of us do AA. I’ve gotten a little overzealous myself, but this forum supports all recovery. You might be interested in joining our SMART recovery thread

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Accidentally hit reply before I was finished. I apologize if I sounded harsh but I have lost a wife and a child to alcohol / drug overdoses. Maybe if I would have been more helpful and direct with them they would still be here today. I have to live with the guilt that I have for for not taking the disease of addiction more seriously. Nowadays I work with other alcoholic/addicts in hopes that sobriety might take hold in their life and living life joyous and free. I try not to sugar coat anything. Addiction is a deadly disease. Jen has five children counting on her. I pray that God touches her heart mind and soul and release her of her obsession to drink so she can be there for her family.

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It’s not your fault. If you go to meetings you know that we are powerless over other people’s addiction. You did everything you could have I’m sure.

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Thank you for your kind words. I do know now because of the rooms that I cannot control people places or things. Still though gets a little hard to swallow at times even after all these years. Thank you again for being so positive God bless and take care.

Thank you, my intention was not to harm or offend anyone. Only to help. Thank you for bringing this to my attention and I will be more careful from now on about how I address people in this form.

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I also have 5 children and a wife. A program did not work for me. I found a different path to sobriety that works well. Also, blanket statements that are copied and reused for multiple people, especially if they’re not even your own words is very disingenuous. Stay here and talk with us. Dont try to push ideals, give heartfelt suggestions.

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No one has scared me away! I feel better knowing other people are or have been where I am.
Another part of my issue is I’m a functioning alcoholic but my husband doesn’t seem to think I am an alcoholic. He still has a picture of someone living under a bridge with a bottle. The part he forgets is that we’ve fought over my drinking including things I’ve said and done to him.

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What worked for you?

This app actually. I did better when I was in SA groups, but couldn’t stand going to groups. I’ve found that accountability is a major thing for me though. Being on this forum has given me the accountability I need to stay sober. I will be here for the long run.

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Regardless of weather or not you yourself identify as an alcoholic or is he thinks you are one, you’ve seen that having alcohol in your life is not a positive influence. I dont think that the label is all that important, more so the realization that you cant control alcohol and the effects it has on your life.

I have 4 children and I can relate to the stress that that can bring. I cant remember who it is that said this, but one piece of advice ( given to and shared by another memeber) that really sticks out to me was “if you play your cards right, your children will never remember you as an alcoholic”

I’m glad you’re here, this is a really great resource. I come on here to decompress with a glass of pomegranate juice now instead of a bottle or whiskey or wine. I’m pretty newly sober 106 days, but if you ever feel like reaching out, I’m here to chat.

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@MoCatt didn’t you say that?

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Yep. My sponsor said that to me. That one sentence has done more to keep me sober than anything else. I’m so glad it has been helpful for other folks.

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