So I went on a 4 day bender Monday thru Friday. Woke yesterday with the worst hanxiety. It wasn’t so much that I screwed up over those four days, but all the shameful mistakes I’'ve done over the years started flooding over me. Felt horrible all day and into the night. Anxiety through the roof. Vomiting constantly. I can barely keep water down. I feel so disgusted with myself and ashamed.
Somehow, I managed to sleep for a few hours. Woke up feeling OK, but then started thinking about things again, and the anxiety and puking is back in full force.
I think I’ve reached a breaking point. I just know alcohol has done nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. I’ve made so many mistakes that I can’t take back. I feel so low and lost, and like my self-esteem is completely shot.
Really could use some support right now. Thank you.
You are not alone. I will pray for you. If you don’t try you will never get anywhere. Thanks for sharing and remember at this moment to tell yourself no.
Im sorry to hear about ur relapse Its an strong reminder of what alcohol does to us and how it serves no real benefit to our lives. I know ur feeling awful right now, but please dont let this relapse continue to beat u down and depress u. Thats what addiction wants. To keep u down and out and depressed and discouraged. Maybe some self care, good food, some hydration, would help right now to lift ur spirits. And then once u start feeling a bit better, get right back up and get back to recovery what has helped in the past? Daily recovery related readings? Meetings? Being more connected to TS? The change we want to see comes from what we do on a daily basis (our routine). Im glad ur back and im glad ur posting stay connected amd if u feel like drinking, come on here first so we can help u thru it
Thank you. I know I’ve gotten laxe. I have a lot of anxiety, so that seems.what has me going back to drinking most days. It also feels like I have so many problems (most drinking-relates. Naturally. I feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin. You are right I need to take it easy on myself. Thank you.
I’m grateful you have this place to come back to.
And you always will.
Sobriety and all it’s beautiful offerings are going to be here waiting for you each time.
The hope is you start to find some compassion for yourself & you give your sobriety half as much chance as we give alcohol.
Remember this feeling but don’t wallow in it for long…Addiction would love for you to label this a place you belong and have you drop anchor here …
But freedom awaits you just on the side of 24hrs… One day at a time. Please come to In the Rooms today. Find an online meeting and connect.
Gen, I’ve done the same thing over and over, I finally realized that I can’t drink anymore period! Hit some meetings, get some sober friends, and a sponsor. It’s not easy at first, but every day gets better as you stay sober. I have 9 months now and life is fantastic. I never thought I could do this, but one day at a time you can. Exercise, eat right, go to speaker meetings, meet people, and stay focused and stay busy. Your life will change. I promise you!
Well, made it to day 3 again. Thanks everyone. Truth be told, I’ve never been good at putting myself first. I’m always giving others the kindness I should be giving myself. Saying NO makes me feel guilty. I guess I really need to unlearn this. Make time for some meetings and for myself and recovery for real. It’s so hard and feels so unnatural to me, but damn I just can’t keep going on like this.
Once again, thank you everyone for your kindness. It means so much and I feel a lot less alone.
Thank you, LeeHawk. Finally opened up to both parents yesterday and asked for help. Thankfully, they’re super supportive and proud of me, which makes me feel like I’m really doing the right thing. They know I struggle with addiction. Tonight, I really have to have a serious talk with my boyfriend. He knows I drink a lot at times, but we don’t live together, so I’ve kinda hidden how much. He’ll buy me a tall can of something occasionally, so I need to tell him to please stop. These conversations are hard, but they must be done.
My circle is very small too, I’m an introvert too. I think that makes things harder for us because not only are we trying to get sober, but doing so means we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and reach out to people.
This is why this site works for me though, it’s much easier than doing this in real life
Hey sister from another mother . I can relate 100%. It can definitely be challenging (sometimes almost terrifying lol) to ask for outside help. This app is amazing. I’m so glad we both found it.
Its an strong reminder of what alcohol does to us and how it serves no real benefit to our lives. I know ur feeling awful right now, but please dont let this relapse continue to beat u down and depress u. Thats what addiction wants. To keep u down and out and depressed and discouraged. Maybe some self care, good food, some hydration, would help right now to lift ur spirits. And then once u start feeling a bit better, get right back up and get back to recovery 
what has helped in the past? Daily recovery related readings? Meetings? Being more connected to TS? The change we want to see comes from what we do on a daily basis (our routine). Im glad ur back and im glad ur posting 
. Shouldn’t be too hard to get the word out.
. I can relate 100%. It can definitely be challenging (sometimes almost terrifying lol) to ask for outside help. This app is amazing. I’m so glad we both found it.