I keep trying to make friends with other women and yet they distance themselves from me.
Hey there, sorry to hear thatā¦thereās a lot of amazing women on here who have been really supportive of me in sobriety. I believe thereās also a group called āWomen in Sobrietyā that support one another. Happy to be here sober with you today
Something to keep in mind is that there around 3.5 billion women on the planet and chances are if you can find a way to meet a wider variety of people you may find some or even many you get along with. Sending love and good vibes your way!
Iāve made some amazing new friendships by going to women AA meetings. When new ladies come to meetings, we open our arms and hearts. We love them until they learn how to love themselves. The fellowship is so warm and welcoming. I donāt know what your DOC is but have you tried in person NA or AA meetings?
Hi Jada, I assume you mean in person? I feel friendships usually have to come naturally, not forced. Maybe youāre trying to hard. Donāt think about making friends, just be you. Are you going to any meetings or sober activities? Youāll eventually meet people with similar interests.
And as a woman, I can say this. If you have confidence, it does tend to be a little harder to make girl friends. Girls can be ultra competitive.
Here you will have no problem. Weāre a non judgemental group. Iām Maxine, happy youāre here. I hope youāve been reading around. If you have pets, thereās a pet thread and a cat thread (I post on both). And I love the meme wars thread. Look forward to seeing you around.
I feel this honestly. I used to have this same problem, thinking it was me. But it wasnāt me and itās not u either. I find the āsceneā very catty and competitive. I think itās quite common for women to often not like other women in that lifestyle. In recovery I have made many female friends and I realized how much I truly missed that companionship with other women
@JadaWaters some females just donāt appreciate friendship or are judge mental, I get that. I canāt stand some females around my town but there are some good people out there male or female so just keep your head up!
As a woman, women are harder to get along with when you first meet them, in my opinion. I donāt find my strongest friendships with co-workers or casual acquaintances. My strongest relationships have been forged through vulnerability. If you can find a hobby that makes you feel like yourself, seek out a group that supports that. Once you get there find someone who looks as uncomfortable as you feel, go up to them and tell them youāre nervous about being there. This works for me, but I like awkward weirdos for my friends. Like seeks like.
Nope, i usually let the other person take control and support what they wanna do. I dont go out because i dont wanna always be by myself. So many of the women i have tried to hang out with typically dont go through with plans or they say they never have the time.
Like @maxwell said. Women for some reason I donāt know why are super competitive IRL. Since I was a teen I have struggled to make female friendships but in my case I know why. I am very assertive, I donāt like BS even when I was young. I would call out so call girls who were best friends and talked shit about one another. Some call this as steering the pot but I just cant handle hypocrisy. I am goal oriented and always like to learn. Theses qualities donāt get you many female friends in HS. Now that Iām older I am still the same but I have learned that not everyone I meet is meant to be my friend. I have very few IRL friends but they are quality friendships with substances. We build upon each other and support each other truly no matter what it is we are doing in life. Be yourself and truly know what you want out of friendships and you will see although maybe not many friends you will have but truly the best.
(IRL) IN REAL LIFE
No one hates you really, they are just strung up on crazy things that you donāt need to worry about. If you have hurt people (of any gender, then just sit with it and reflect on it, and think about how to make amednds- gently)
If you havenāt hurt anybody you have no reason to worry. As others have said- you can meet people in the sober community who are your friends
Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I really appreciate it.
I hope you donāt mind me asking this (and this may make me unpopular on here) but are you quite attractive?
Donāt worry, Iām not chatting you up, itās just that most of my life I was very overweight ābut prettyā and also popular.
It took a lot of effort but I eventually lost the weight, and overnight women were very different towards me and sometimes really mean, for no reason at all.
Iām an outgoing person, and like people, so I found this very difficult to deal with.
I ended up putting much of the weight back on as it seemed easier to be a bit podgy.
Anyway, ultimately itās quality not quantity with friends.
Hope you find your tribe
I have been told i have natural beauty and i have been told " you shouldnāt have trouble getting a girlfriend, your beautiful " and im begining to think that that is the issue