I didn’t choose to become an alcoholic, I chose to have a few drinks once in a while. Then the few turned into more and more often. Yes I made that first choice to drink and was looking at all those folks who drank like what society sees as “normal”. Then the disease or allergy of alcoholism had its grip on me, I no longer had that choice. Noone chooses to have cancer or diabetes, but its there and can be treated and put into remission. Treated just like alcoholism. All your coworker needs to do is a little research.
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I am curious, where did I say AA or NA is unnecessary or unneeded?
I am on this forum to gather strength so that I can make right choices. And, if I make a poor choice, I am here to find solace in a community of people in the same boat. This doesn’t negate the fact that we are all faced with choices. And we cannot blame God or the devil for poor choices we make.
Should I clarify further?
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I think you’re confounding addiction with using.
Everyone can choose to use or not.
But you don’t choose to be an addict.
I’m choosing not to use, but I’m still an addict.
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Like someone can use a lot while grieving someone or have a rough break up for months, he chose to use, but he might still not be an addict as the clinical disorder.
It is so easy to misread or misunderstand text because we have so many nuances in speech and nonverbal communication. Nevertheless, there are things that we do not choose, this drives us to do or act in whichever way that allows us to survive. Many times we choose unhealthy coping mechanisms because they are easier to access and deliver quicker, albeit short term, effects. This, depending on our poison, biologically changes our body. Of course it is more difficult to choose something else…we are zombies to our wants.
We are convinced we need them, however we do not need drugs or alcohol to survive. These are lies we tell ourselves in order to justify our wants. We feel like we are dying when we withdraw.
There are 1000 reasons for 1000 addictions. Nevertheless, many times it was a choice. We have a choice to be made a victim or a survivor of our circumstances.
As Stevie Nicks sang so beautifully, pick your path and I’ll pray.
To me, addiction is like gravity. If I don’t choose to jump out of the airplane, gravity will have no power over me. But if I do jump, I’m powerless to its effects and if enough time passes, SPLAT!!!
But the good news is, there’s always a parachute available. And like chosing to jump, grabbing a hold of that parachute is also a choice.
The problem is, we don’t know how gravity will affect us until we jump, and by then, its too late.
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Something from the internet…
“The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), which is part of the National Institutes of Health, has taken the position that alcoholism is a disease. They highlight the fact that the craving an alcoholic feels can be as strong as their craving for life-sustaining food or water. They also hold the position that as part of the disease of alcoholism, a person will continue to drink despite serious consequences, and it’s chronic. They say that it follows a certain course, which is shown the progressive steps of alcoholism, and that it will last a lifetime, with definable symptoms. They also say the risk of developing this disease is influenced by a combination of genetics and lifestyle”
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Addictive things are addictive.
Anyone doing them long enough, often enough, will get addicted.
It’s just the science of it.
How people deal, cope, recover from addiction varies greatly.
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I think the people who think it’s a choice are the same who tell depressed people to “just be happy” or “just smile more”.
Technically, you can choose to drink or not, just as you can choose to smile. But it’s far more complex. Your biology is part of it, your circumstances are part of it, and much more. Picking up the first drink, or having the first cry might be a choice (but sometimes not), but after that, a disease takes over.
After that, telling someone to stop is like telling someone who’s paralyzed to “just walk”. It takes a ton of time and support, and some people may never be able to do it.
Plus, science has generally determined it’s a disease. I don’t think we get to disagree with science lol.
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Wonderful way of putting it. I can see why people describe it as a disease but I prefer this way of thinking about it.
I suppose addiction is a bit like loneliness in that sense… It has a common set of symptoms or effects on mental and physical health, but the exact causes and outcomes for individuals are different because it is a response to our own combination of experiences and perceptions.
I think the fact that alcohol and other substance abuse is often a symptom of another health problem (i.e. that makes people more likely to self-medicate) makes the line between disease or not a bit more blurry. It also pulls into question the idea or nature of choice… Although that is all quite philosophical!
At the end of the day though @Jamesyb , it’s all just opinions isn’t it? Other people don’t have to agree, and if thinking about it one way or another helps keep you sober that’s great.
For people who don’t consider themselves to have a drinking problem, making judgements on other people who do… Well I think that says more about them than anything else!
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I think your use of the word choice is different to how others are taking it.
Yes we can choose to get sober. Which is why we are here.
But to the non alcoholic they see our disease as our choice - drink or not drink it’s easy.
Whereas we all know it ain’t that easy. I think originally the OP was talking about how non alcoholics are ignorant to our plight.
It doesn’t make us victims, or at least it shouldn’t.
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Well there is that too 
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I agree with what you’re saying. I know I should not drink cause I’ve never been able to do it responsibly. Therefore I choose not to, cause I know if I chose to, bad things would happen. I choose sobriety. Thanks for sharing.
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I have been tossing and turning over this post. I certainly do not want people to think I am cold and judgemental.
My wife and I discovered her son dead of a heroin overdose. That still haunts me. My dad was a heavy alcoholic, who eventually took his life.
There are some things that are not choices, that we simply do not have control over. I can choose to take a cake out of the oven early; however it will be undercooked and soupy. I can will it to be cooked; but if it isnt in the oven long enough, my will power won’t work.
I didn’t make a conscious decision to become addicted to cigarettes, sex, weed, and food. They were ways for me to cope with trauma, and trauma I didn’t consciously know I had until this year. By the time I realized what was happening, I was in too deep. I couldnt will myself to quit. Every time I made a choice, I found myself right back at square one.
So I amend my original statement: addiction is not a choice, how we respond to it is.
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Ah, a true determinist.
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I chose not to continue drinking because i relised i had a disease of alcoholism. I found a place were i could get help with it because i knew if i had a choice id drink again .
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True strength of character right there my man
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After thinking about this for awhile, I came to the same conclusion.
I couldn’t decided between “choice vs disease”.
I guess I did choose to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. I was aware from the beginning that I was using it to “deal” with a lot of issues, but I didn’t really think it was a serious issue… until is was. By the time I realized I had a big problem, something had changed. It was very hard for me to make the choice to not do something that I knew was detrimental to me. I needed outside help to stop and stay stopped. I couldn’t cure myself.
But ultimately, I can’t drink without losing control and becoming completely destructive. I’ve proven that to myself many times. So whether it’s a choice, or a disease, doesn’t really change that fact for me.
The choice I do have is to stay sober and to access assistance outside of myself in order to do so.
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I have to admit, it was difficult to read your post. My addiction was pain pills. I didn’t choose to have a back injury. Yes, I chose to take those pills prescribed by a doctor after exhausting all other forms of treatment except surgery. But I wasn’t in any position to have surgery and needed something to relieve pain in order to take care of my family. I did eventually have major surgery to eleviate that severe pain but it was too late, I was addicted. I don’t consider myself a victim but I didn’t choose addiction either.
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Heres my thoughts…
I have an attention disorder… I am lacking seratonin levels in my brain… Meaning I will actively go thrill seeking to get some form of this chemical. Did I want this disorder no! Was I hand picked from above yes… I was dealt this card of life.
I have from an early age had a personality that can be slightly obsessed and addicted to different behaviours and other things.
For me I really struggle with moderation I WANT it all!
So at the ripe age of 13 I started to smoke weed… My life was wrapped around this drug for many years and yes there are health benefits but by 28 my drug use meant I was spending well over £1000 a month…
Now here is where I know my choice had been took away because if I had a choice of the money being mine to spend on other things I would but I’m an addict and I couldn’t function without that drug!
So for me addiction isn’t a choice… What might be easy for one person can be a massive struggle for someone else…
A person who can have one drink per day but must have that drink is an addict as much as someone who blacks out from drinking too much because addicts can’t function (well we struggle) at first to function without our drig of choice.
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