I just got hired, I been work like crazy. I work 50 hours last week. I been really i to work like crazy. Since my future ex wife is one who want to out of marriage. Plus my stinky mind is really bother me. I just keep working like crazy. Same time I don’t want to feel the pain heartbreaking… I been heart beak since January 1 2022. I just push myself real hard Into work. Now I may get a house. I just really push myself 100 harder everyday. At night time, I crying quietly every night … I feel really worthless at same time… I woke up at 2 am and head to work every morning just to forget how pain I feel. Is it other addiction work I’m dealing with? Same time I don’t want anyone to fell in with me. I never felt so ugly, shame, guilty all that. I never feel so bad about it.
Hi @Cypher that is hard. It’s so hard when so many things come together: you’re still in the first months of your sobriety, you are going through a divorce, and there are other things happening too. It’s heavy: I feel for you 
The emotions are heavy and they will continue being heavy for some time, certainly months and maybe years. I am not saying that to be discouraging, just to be honest. However you are capable of riding the waves of emotion by “leaning in” to the feelings and by seeking support: reach out here, find a support group (sobriety group, group counselling, etc etc), and by being present for yourself, and being present with others, gradually you will strengthen yourself so these waves are less overwhelming. They still come from time to time but you ride them more smoothly.
You belong. Your journey is your journey, and you have the capabilities you need to walk this journey successfully. Keep reaching out and don’t give up. 
@Matt , thank you.
I already had AA group, even zoom, therapist. I just really grieving and my ex wife really want me sign divorce papers today and flat not want to solve anything with me. It’s really hurts me. I feel there’s no hope. So I just work addict. I just don’t want to find any one to be love or making new friends yet. I truly at loss of everything that I work so hard for 15 years to stay clean and with her 12 years. I guess I really fucked it up. I look at it it like it’s over. Really over. There’s no reason for me to continue live for.
It’s not over. You’re grieving and you’re hurt. That is normal in your situation. But your life is not over.
You’re signing divorce papers today and that is hard.
Do you mind if I ask what else is hard?