I haven’t come across any topics covering bad workplace culture, but if there is I’m happy for it to be pointed out to me.
Anyway, I’m an apprentice at a company that has about 4 ‘get together’ events per year and regular end of day/week drinks. And cocaine is usually involved in both (management/owners included). The events are during the work day so everyone is expected.
This April will be my first sober event and I’m scared. I don’t know when it will be, and usually after booking a date they change it. So planning annual leave for that day is tricky!
I know i need to get out, but i really need to hold out for 6 more months until i complete my apprenticeship.
I don’t know what to do. I could lie and say I’m pregnant haha but i don’t want to lie. And in afraid of telling them the truth, because then I’ll get the “i don’t like people who don’t drink when they’re at the pub. I think it’s rude” bs plus more.
Hey Elyse,
this is a tough situation. Being surrounded by your DOC at a social gathering is always very taxing. And one does not always feel safe opening up about one’s addiction.
I try to be honest with myself about how well I believe I will be able to navigate the situation without loosing control.
I also try to make a plan how to address specific challenges. I might decide to eat well before the event and grab the first non-threatening beverage and keep it in my hand at all times. Make an contingency plan, like texting a supportive person or here at the forum, stepping out for a while or leaving early.
If I don’t feel like I won’t be able to handle the situation well, I try to decline.
That’s as far as I’ve got
Thank you. Creating a plan and having some options will help! I also like the idea of getting a good feed beforehand and holding onto a drink. The fuller I am the lesser I’ll want to add
Is it mandatory? Are you being paid your normal wage to attend? Will you be fired if you don’t go? If not, just don’t go.
When it comes to work, you are paid for your labor, when the shift ends, then it becomes your time, and you are free to do with your time as you please. No excuses needed.
I see this kind of thing on here all the time and reading this just brought up this anger in me all of sudden. I just can’t stand the stigma that’s put on non drinkers. Like there’s something wrong with US! It’s such bullshit that so many of us have to tiptoe around these sort of things as to not be looked at like a pariah. It should not be something that one has to worry about when it comes to their career. I’m sorry. I don’t have advice any better than what’s been said. It just saddens me that this is even an issue. I hope you figure something out to get you thru. Thinking of you
I don’t believe they’re deliberately changing the date to trap us in. I think they’re just unorganised.
If i could bring a date, bringing a police officer would be the best
Might go with the sickie
They are paying my normal wage for the day. I’m thinking I’m either call in sick (but this often gives me great anxiety) or I’ll take on a few tips I’ve gathered here and get out by knock off time - even earlier if i can get away with it.
It’s so disheartening that people see us as abnormal. I had a dear friend who knew i was struggling with my drinking and when i had my rare af days she made a big deal about how she could NEVER do that and i must be so brave. It was embarrassing.
First, I agree with everything everyone else has said!
If you’re only planning to be there for 6 more months, I also don’t think some white lying is the worst here. If they move the date around, you could also be similarly disorganized about your commitment to go and make a vague excuse (“one of those nights I said I would help my friends move, just not sure which” or something like that) ahead of time. (I also get anxiety about planned-ahead calling in sick, sigh.)
If you do go, take us along in your pocket! Have an exit strategy planned. A phone call in the midafternoon (your cop boyfriend ) and that’s all folks.
Also, I don’t know how big this company/outfit is, but I’d be willing to bet you’re not the only one dreading it. That’s a pitiful corporate culture they’ve created.
Onward.
Thanks everyone!
I’m feeling a bit calmer about the situation now.
Apparently we’re playing golf, so at least during that time I can keep my mind and hands occupied. Then when it comes to lunch i can switch over to soda or something and gtfo at my last mouthful - because I’ve got a hot cop date haha
You’ll be in my pocket and I’ll let you know how it pans out. I really appreciate the support everyone
Golf should be a bit easier. If you are able to pick who is in your cart pick one that drinks the least and you are the most comfortable around. There can still be alot of booze consumed on a golf course so keep your guard up. Just do what ever you have to to not drink. Its not about them, its not about them, its about you and if you need to get out of the situation come up with an emergency that you have to leave for.
Seriously PLEEEEASE bring a cop as a date. Just for me? And take all the pictures? I am 20% joking here and 80% certain it would be a great move.
If you can’t bring someone who can arrest other people for substance abuse be sure you are finding ways to arrest your own use.
Have fun, be safe, and report back. If you feel the least bit unsure about your sobriety and there is a way out, take it!
) and that’s all folks.
