Workplace Harassment Antidepressants and Addiction

Life in Recovery
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Hi there. I’ve been struggling for the last few months with major depression, something I’ve never felt before and don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m isolated, alone, a single father of 2 and really hurting.
I’m trying to recover from losing everything. It all started when I was being abused by my ex wife and her family and also facing a toxic work environment. After seeing my doctor and requesting a psychiatrist referral ror anxiety he elected to put me on antidepressants. that’s when my whole world changed. I spent the last 5 years on multiple medications to treat my anxiety which only led me to develop a sex and cannabis addiction.
On antidepressants I felt dead, emotionless, impulsive and unable to control my moods and desires. It was like I was stripped of my morals and had no control.
I began seeking out distractions through sexual adventures and smoking cannabis frequently.
Being a successful engineer and also a dedicated single father only fueled the fire asany women recognized that I was different with my kids, dedicated, loving, supportive and present. Many women took advantage of this, flirting, constantly trying to seek my attention which led to the end of my marriage. On antidepressants I couldn’t think straight, control my emotions or urges. I say this now as I’ve been off antidepressants and sober from cannabis for 4 months now also sober from sex for 6 months. every since I stopped taking antidepressants the sexual urges stopped. I’m struggling with all yhe losses I’ve encurred from being on these medications. In 5 years I never did get a psychiatrist referral only had my GP switching me from one drug to the next. When I tried to discuss with him my concerns about impulsive and sexual urges he got defensive and asked if I was blaming him for loosing my marriage. this further discouraged me from discussion my sexual urges, urges I never had while off antidepressants.

Anyway… I could go on for pages and with more detail… I guess I’m struggling with the fact that I tried to seek help, was mismedicated and have no lost everything because of it, friendships family my job my house… and I’m so alone. I don’t know where to start to recover. I’ve been sober alone, I don’t have any urges to smoke cannabis or have sex… but I’m so depressed about my past behavior when I was medicated. Living in a smaller city I feel like I can’t even walk out the door some days because of my actions when I was on antidepressants.

Just looking for people to talk to, for support, anyone who’s experienced an abusive marriage or abusive workplace and tried to cope…

thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far.

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Hi and welcome, in my opinion (and that’s all it is) you’ve done amazing sorting you life out so far but maybe you’ve come as far as you can by doing this alone. Many people become sober of their addictions and yet still feel even more depressed as all they have done is removed the problem from the outside and not replaced it with a solution on the inside, a coping mechanism for want of a better word. Consider strongly joining SA and or NA and spend some time with like minded people who have found a way to live a more manageable life of inner peace and serenity. There are programs to be worked as long as you can be open minded and these will give you the tools to a brighter future. Merry Christmas and I wish you well on your journey.

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Thanks so much for reaching out. Your advice makes sense and I’ll reach out locally. thanks

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Welcome @seekingsolace.

Congratulations on 4 and 6 months!

I would choose being alone over living a miserable life with an abusive partner and working in a toxic environment any day. Everyone deserves a chance to start over. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Thanks for sharing.

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Hello and welcome to the forum!
Thank you for being open and honest. Your story is heartfelt. I’m sorry you didn’t get the help you sought after. I’m amazed at your GP’s reaction! Maybe have another chat with them or another doctor?

I’ve been in therapy for a number years, anti-depressants too and I have to say the combination of these 2 saved my life.

This forum is great for peer support. Stick around and read read read. You are worth of recovery!

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Welcome :green_heart: I hope you find a little of the solace you seek here.

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