Phew what a weekend. I’m glad you lived to tell this miserable tale.
Mark, do you want to be sober? Or do you wanna continue binging and having that your reaction to unforeseen stressors and your life looking like this?
If the answer to the first question is yes, here’s the good news: you can change. You gotta put the work in, like we all do, and you’ll be better. Happier. Less poor. Less fucked up. A lot less.
Here are some resources to get you started. Read around the forum too. Time to do what others did who got clean. Read and learn. That is what you gotta do.