Hi everyone, I’ve been on and off alcohol and drugs for years now, i feel like I’m now close to an early death and may have already permanently damaged my health but hopefully not.
I did 30 hours overtime in work with the intention of having a little extra for Christmas. Hadn’t had a drink for over a month, my partner was supposed to coming over for the weekend on Friday for dinner/ movie at my house etc… but my partner then calls me up Friday night and is too drunk to drive so stays home (but I found out they were with someone else) Then I proceed to spend the next 4 days drinking and doing cocaine mostly alone at home, and had sex with a bunch of random strangers, smoked 60 cigarettes and didn’t eat any food and stayed awake the whole time, drank 4 bottles of vodka and snorted 6 bags of coke, spent £500, had to take emergency stress leave from work. I have 4 days off before I need to go back to work. Now I’m just numb to everything and just eating and eating trying to get my energy back. my house needs a massive clean up, but more importantly I need to make sure it doesn’t happen again, I could have died, but I don’t know what to do or what to think anymore
Reach out here when you’re having a rough time, addiction is nearly impossible to beat alone. All you have to think about is doing the next right thing.
I know that it’s rough when someone is unfaithful but you destroying yourself doesn’t hurt them. You can live a better life sober, unimaginably better. Best wishes
Phew what a weekend. I’m glad you lived to tell this miserable tale.
Mark, do you want to be sober? Or do you wanna continue binging and having that your reaction to unforeseen stressors and your life looking like this?
If the answer to the first question is yes, here’s the good news: you can change. You gotta put the work in, like we all do, and you’ll be better. Happier. Less poor. Less fucked up. A lot less.
Here are some resources to get you started. Read around the forum too. Time to do what others did who got clean. Read and learn. That is what you gotta do.
Hope you’re doing ok Mark. Hopefully you can check in and let us know you’re ok.
I’m good thanks I’ve started playing video games to keep me occupied when I’m not working etc… It’s been along time since I was last into games an its changed a lot haha 
how are you ma’am?
I’m good thanks Robbie, been playing video games to keep me occupied when not in work or dog walking, I’m wondering whether to go and see Skid Row in Liverpool next weekend or if it’ll be a trigger, their new singer Eric is incredible, but there will be a bar there so might leave it for now as it may be too soon for me. How are you doing?