I have done a lot of things that are, for lack of a better way to put it, bad. I think that in the first few months that her and I dated I treated her right. After that, I went back to my old ways. I will always relive my past. I can seem to shake it and maybe it’s supposed to be this way.
I saw the lowest of my lows with her and the highest of my highs and laughed my way through it. I went to rehab, played the part, did everything right. But what did right mean? Less than bad? Was that the qualifying condition? Maybe less bad is more appropriate. I might not ever know if I’m being good or just less bad. Rough and tumble saw our ways through this relationship and I guess still do. Our families questioned it constantly. I never knew if I was doing right for myself, right for you, right for my family……I was stuck. I drifted from scene to scene
Some people have a vision of what their future will look like. I suppose I am guilty of the same vision at times but I truly do not know if I’ve ever worked towards anything I’ve seen further than next Wednesday. I am a drifter. The wind has no fence and sometimes I wish I didn’t either. The fence and the ceiling I create for myself is righteous. Self-righteous in fact. As is this post. Just wanted to get it out.
I love you all and keep on fightin the good fight!