Ive got lots of support here…thank you all. I’ve got some support from AA, thanks to them.
I’m otherwise on my own.
My brother knows (in my current domestic situation) I will fail. My sister fears I will fail. My wife expects I will fail. Many of my aa peers believe I can’t do it without 12 steps and 1dayAtAtime. I’m the only one with any confidence that I am succeeding and will continue to. Maybe a negative motivation but there is certainly an element of proving everyone else wrong!
4 Likes
you keep being very focussed on negative motivation and proving yourself against others. I have found it more helpful to come to myself in my recovery, rather than what I imagine others expect of me. cos that obession with others ideas of me just drove me plain old nuts.
I always say work on building a life for yourself that you can stand and even enjoy living sober. if some relationships that you find are not healthy for you fall by the wayside in this process, the better. no one needs undermining, distrust, being talked down to.
but more importantly, become a person you can respect, you can like, you can stand. you will over time give fewer fucks about what others expect of you one way or the other. after all, what does it matter. what matters is your sobriety, your health, your happiness. and meaningful relationships with the people around you who care for you and who you care for.
by trying to prove something (really anything at all!) to others you remain in a dependent position towards them, one that will fuel your resentment and keep you on edge. not what you need in early recovery, my friend. do it for you, find enough reason and motivation in yourself and the life you want to live, and you’ll grow to be more stable over time.
all the best!
3 Likes
keep us posted on you recovery .hopefully your confidence will see you through wish you well
2 Likes