Oh, I’m so sorry for your son! I hope everything is gonna be soon better. 
Also understandable with health care system, we have here as well shitty one, especially with mental health. ://
I feel lately not good but not giving up. 
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Thank you Jaz and Nastya 
No biopsy done yet, still waiting for follow up dates since the scan. Irish hospitals aren’t the quickest. He will have a doctor’s appointment this Wednesday, and I suppose they will pick it up from there.
Stay strong Nastya, life is full of trials my lovely. We are here for you whenever you need to vent 
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Hey! I live! I’m back again, still sober, got a new phone which somehow led to me not logging back in here but perpetually meaning to. I’m glad to be back here and will be sticking around again; thanks for thinking of me also btw!
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I’m in a inpatient rehab for six months. I’ve been there for about six weeks or so. I don’t have access to my phone but my counselor let me have it for today. I should get my phone back in about a month and a half. I’m going to try to stay for the whole program. I really miss everyone on here and can’t wait to start checking in again. I will try to post something while I have my phone to let everybody know that I’m safe and sober. Everything kind of happened pretty fast and I was in a really bad spot I had to take the opportunity and didn’t have time to really post anything before they took my phone away. I’m sorry if I worried anybody. But I’m very much alive and doing well. Trying to get back slowly but surely. If you don’t hear anything From me for a while just know that I’m in this program and doing whatever it takes. I understand why they took the phone away. When I went away to this program I was 109 pounds and very broken and lost. I’m up to 145 and feeling very healthy mentally and physically. I’m taking my medication as prescribed for bipolar and I’m working a program of recovery. I never wanna go through what I just went through recently ever again. Trading Vodka For another addiction like pills is not the solution. I realize that I can’t do anything and I have to remain Abstinent from all drugs and alcohol. This is the first time I turn my phone on in a long time and it’s been a lot of catching up. Unfortunately I have to give my phone back in a little bit and won’t get it back till I hit 90 days
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You do your best Trevor! I know you do. Thanks for letting us know, take care and see you soon!
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Thanks for updating us! Hope you’re getting good care there.
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Yes it’s a good program. It’s a Christian-based program which can be kind of difficult because I believe in my own godmother nature but I can see the healthy benefits of what they’re talking about. I have some mandatory classes every day, have to wear nice clothes with shirts tucked in, have to shave every day, I have to get up at 6 AM and can’t sleep at all or be lazy. I had to cut all of my hair off to get into this program but at the time that was the least of my worries. And I didn’t have much options. Without health insurance I mean. They feed us pretty well here and there is a lot of support and recovery. I have a counselor that is assigned to me. After six months I can go back to work and they help me find a job and possibly somewhere to stay. I’m trying to take advantage of everything they offer. It’s definitely not easy with 110 guys five people per room. But it’s not supposed to be easy
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Thank you. I miss seeing your post and you taking pictures of where you live and your adventures on your bike
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Good to hear from your Trevor, stay strong! 
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Sounds like a sacrifice to cut your hair and not be aligned in the religious fundamentals and so on but you seem to have a healthy attitude about it. It’s temporary, and for you to see the potential for getting your feet back under you is wonderful. Whatever it takes, right? And hair grows back!
I’m glad you took this opportunity. Hang in there.
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I am glad you checked in. Sending strength and care your way.
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Not going to lie I was pretty sad to see my hair go. And took a little bit to get over it. But exactly it will grow back. It’s a small sacrifice for sure. And exactly Even though I don’t believe in the Christian God I still can see the positives. I will take what I take from it and try to understand and leave the rest. I can respect other peoples beliefs. possibly I will only be that much stronger after this. I understand why the program is so hard-core and all the rules. A lot of us need this to recover And learn a new way of life
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Thank you so much. One day at a time. I will try to see if I can get my phone back sooner because I really do miss this community. But I understand why they take the phone away for 90 days. My counselor let me have it for today not really sure why or maybe he thinks I’m doing good
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I will say one thing and that is pretty scary it’s like that relapsed 6 to 8 weeks ago and feels like it never happened. It’s crazy how fast we can forget the pain that we just recently went through. That’s why I have to remind myself every day where alcohol and drugs will take me. I don’t want to be in that scary place ever again
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Yes, maybe for good behavior / progress …a treat to help you stay motivated. It sounds like you are embracing the program, which is good. Sorry about your hair tho, the least of things to let go of maybe.
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Trying my best to look at the positives and know that this won’t be forever. As difficult as this program is I definitely need it.
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So I’ve been away from this app, trying to find different solutions to my issues. I think you’ve found some of the same solutions I have. I have not relapsed in two months, nor have I had any type of cravings. I am focusing on my spirituality and the qualities of gratitude and contentment, this is making more of a difference than anything I could’ve done. What’s interesting is a few months ago I did a zoom meeting with a sponsor, a guy that was offering to help me become porn free. After that conversation, I realized that I was about to pay $500 a month for someone to make me into a spiritual man. Very thought of it made me realize that through my own spirituality. It would be free if I just applied what I was learning so I’ve chosen to make my God my sponsor and guard my steps more closely than ever before. I still suffer addiction from dopamine, and I have days where I can’t think straight or focus but I understand that , it is a struggle with what we have to deal with but that does not mean I need to turn my back on my God and my wife. Now it’s just about every single day gratitude and contentment. I keep spiritual things in front of me all the time. I stay and pay attention to the warning signs and safeguard my heart accordingly how are you?
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Love your attitude and dedication. Putting recovery first (even above our own personal beliefs) is a sign of dedication to your future. You’re a great example for people on here to follow
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Thanks for the positive words. I really had to hit a bottom like never before to change my attitude like it currently is. I have to do the complete opposite of what I really want to do. And I have to listen to others who have time in recovery. My way has never worked
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